and you take pleasure it seems
in ripping my esophagus out
because some nights
you act like were best friends again
andihopesosomuchwewillbe
and some nights
you wont even answer me
and it hurts so much
ive been trying not to cry anymore
but it hurts so much
and im so confused
just be honest with me
please

your ex girlfriend is actually lovely
and i should have been
angry at you not her
im not angry at her at all
do you know what she did
she texted me one thursday night
do you know what she said
she said sorry
she said this is so long overdue
she said i really really hope
we can be friends
do you know what i did
i let go that thursday night
do you know what i said
i said im sorry too
i said its okay
i said i would really really love
to be friends
do you know what you never did
you never spoke to me first
do you know what you never said
you never said i know i hurt you but you hurt me too
you never said can we talk about it
you never said i really really think
we can be friends
so i dont even know if we are
or if ive suddenly become
an optimist

sure you said sorry
i even think you meant it
i know you meant it
but you dont act sorry

and this so long overdue
but im making up for it now
oh im making up for it
and you be ready do you know why
you be ready because
im not doing it anymore
im not being polite
im not giving you the benefit of the doubt
without telling me the real reason
why you lied
why you ignored me
why you messed with me
why you are
still doing it

and let me tell you
let me tell you something
im so ******* tired of my *******
im tired of my *******
allowing your *******

and i let you
i let you because
do you want to know
do you want to ******* know
well you never asked
well ill tell you anyway
i let you because
i needed you i needed you so much
and you knew that thats why you did it
not because you couldnt talk to me
because you could talk to me
you just didnt answer my **** calls

how could i have not known for so long
how could you not have told me
and lets be ******* honest for once
please
we both knew that i knew
ive been lying to myself
because i knew all along
i knew you were capable of
i knew you maybe already had
i knew you still were