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Jolan Lade Jan 2019
Hey you
My heart is not clay
And still isn't, whatever you say
You can leave or stay
My heart won't care, not even on the onehundredandone day
Not
Jolan Lade Oct 2018
I'm a lonely voice broadcasting radio waves into a deaf space

I'm unwillingly hidding in the shadow of all their grace

My emotions are an lonely civilisation in a empty space

My voice is useless when I'm outside their walls screaming at their gates

All that plays again and again is the shapes of my mistakes

While I'm sitting here wasted and displaced, sad I haven't got what it takes
Still here, locked inside my own sphere
Jolan Lade Oct 2018
I miss what we never had
I miss the potential love, and what we could have done with that
Inking dreadfully
Jolan Lade Oct 2018
11000000000010100000110010110001100000000111001000000011001110

I­ have tought myself to morse
So I can speak in codes when you won't listen
Because I you did not endorse
So clearly us it isn't
It could be us // 11000000000010100000110010110001100000000111001000000011001110
Jolan Lade Sep 2018
I'm sorry I had to leave you, brother.
Brother, I'm sorry I was not by your side, that November evening when mother took her last breath.
Brother, I'm sorry I was not with you by the side of fathers bed, that April night, when cancer carried him away.
Brother, I'm sorry I was not present to enjoy the beautiful moment you made me an uncle, that sunny day in June.
Brother, I'm sorry I could not be there to give you a hug
when she left you that cold December noon.
Brother, I'm sorry I was somewhere else, and let you mourne alone, that dark January morning
when the fever took your little baby boy.
Brother, I'm sorry I was not there to stop you
that foggy February morning you decided to take to an end.

But brother, ever since you were 6, and I 10
I've been waiting for you here
Here to welcome mother, the day she slept in
Here to greet father, when cancer delivered him
Here to take care of your little boy
Here to give you that hug you need, and to tell you I know, because I've been in your heart, all the way
You are not lost, brother, you are clearing a path
Jolan Lade Aug 2018
I have a convenient little helmet
When the world becomes overwhelming
It offers protection, an atmosphere that takes me to the stratosphere where I can be myself
In my helmet, my bubble I am me, in my bubble I don't need to see the horrors of others
In my bubble, I can be free, see the world in my own colours
When I exit my bubble I put on knee-high boots, a protective safety suit and a good pair of really thick gloves. At my waist, I carry a big revolver that will act as a solver. Because with humans you cannot argue and be nice, cannot talk and make peace.
In my bubble
Jolan Lade Aug 2018
I'm done, going
I will be far away, not caring what you are doing
I will be closing my ears
So ******* with your empty words and fake tears
Just done
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