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We exist in the world
Of the living;
Living with the ghost of absence —

All the many losses;
We carry them in our breath,
In our bones,
In our eternity of memories
Passed down through generations,
After generation,
After generation —

Losing ourselves
But gaining many losses,
Becoming ghosts of absence —
You brought a smile
Back in my heart
I thought I’d never see
You again
The rain has stopped
Fallen in my face
So much I want you
To have your own place
You came back
It’s been awhile
I now can smile
Spaces apart
Time back together
Past is long

Life starts again
You brought a smile
To my heart
I know now you loved
Fun and happiness
No time to cry
I dreamt this dream before I could speak it out loud,
Between the signifier and imperfect signified,
With all kinds of broken hours and promises never kept,
I tried transforming what was often said in the past.

This place would seem so real,
Made for me, trembling in the middle,
With small and growing earthquakes.
I wrote myself again—my little truths.

Looking for missing lines without wings,
Carrying stones inside my mind,
In tight, frayed bags from my beating heart,
without hope for a final insight.

Perhaps I just passed through the steam
Of a swirling, repetitive, chaotic dance,
Seeking tickets, carving an elusive imprint
With my mosaic in this human code.

Five minutes quietly slipped by.
My earned time vanished.
I had my moments going along the roadsides,
Avoiding the end of this poetic journey.

I stay wrapped in a heavy coat of suspicion.
I saw Moirés crafting another delusion.
I found a small reward in an addictive cliché,
To feel short relief from what I call my reality.

I remember what I did before,
Choosing every day not to cast a stone
Into the center of what I can’t grasp
With my breathing, human existence.
And this breath was enough.
 Aug 3 Carlo C Gomez
Maddy
Our Mom died five years ago today.
Covid took her.
I prefer to be alone in my foul mood
In  the  big park on an empty bench sat yours truly and a ten pound bag of nuts
Others were having a lively Sunday far from the bench
The nuts were placed between two trees
One squirrel chomped on the shell
Nine nuts later looking for more
Three other squirrels some smaller partaked
Lovely company on a sad day
Leaving they continued their banquet by their trees
 Aug 3 Carlo C Gomez
Maddy
A song from Carousel
Last song Sang at a telethon long ago
Truth is that once you stand tall
Straight with your head held high
Pain disapates and returns as a reminder
Those you can no longer see in forms unrecognizable are cheering you on
Standing besides you
They want to be remembered
You never walk alone
 Aug 3 Carlo C Gomez
alia
At 6:45 it screams:
“GET UP. You’ve wasted enough.”
At 7:00,
it sighs,
“You’ll be late, again. As always.”

I think it judges
my mismatched socks
and the way I stare at the wall
like I’m waiting
for permission
to exist.

It’s just plastic and wires,
but somehow it knows
I haven’t felt like
a person
in weeks.

So I unplug it.
Throw it in the drawer.
Now the silence
wakes me louder
than it ever did.
across my face.

I saw spring coming
in the meadow
where the wildflowers
whisper to the wind.

found freedom on a snowcapped mountain top,

smiled to the child offering violets
cradled in her tiny hands

and when she smiles to me

her joy ripples like sunlight
across the sea of love.

the curtain is lifted.

the soul becomes visible

(always in the wild places
in my heart.)
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