Tedium, boredom.
Monotonous, but good cash.
Take this job,  shove it.

Moldy coffee and ***** socks
fight for space among graying memories of memories as the dirge
in my head plays on.

It's like a hearing test that lasts every waking moment, this ******* ringing in my ears.

It's 3am again and death is in the air,
so close to home I feel the ancient heat
of leathery wings on my tired shoulders.

So tired

This tired body of mine,
I've really put it
through the ringer.
I've gotten some good miles
out of it.
The *******,
The car wrecks,
The *******,
The fistfights,
The beatings,
The *******,
The drugs
and the *****
and all that *****.
The mosh pits
and the miles walked
and all of those crazy
dangerous risks
all in the name of fun.

I should have died so many times

I didn't though.
I'm here.
I'm alive.
I'm still giving it
right back
to the *******
and getting all
the *** I can,
while I can.

Your God wants me to be happy

So I took the drugs
and the punches.
I walked for miles
and sat on the beaches
and woke up in holding cells
and found out what it
means to truly love
and felt what it's
like to die from
the inside out.

I've been at one with every
molecule in the universe
that ever has been
and will be.
I've seen the spirits lights
while the first ones
sang and drummed as I
wept in the dark.

I've felt shame
and fear
and loss of hope;
hunger pangs
mingled with glorious
hallucinations.

Life is but a dream

Really though,
dearest,
none of that matters
when I'm alone
at 3 am.

It's 3 am again
and I am here
and you are there
and I am alone in my bed
so I can't whisper
"G'night sugar"
in your ears
or tickle you to sleep
or wake up to your legs
or your heat
or your sleepy eyes.

*Breathe deep and feel me now

Where the **** stops
and that is you

after a good night at the bar
your mates tell
have some food
line the inside of you
so you do
then you and your mates go on to a club
the night ahead of you
pretty woman and bright light
eyes dazed you have scoured
the night is yours
your mates have now gone
there nights to remember
Yours
you will remember none
now she it there at the taxi rank
she looks into your eyes
you now as she moves to your lips
time passes
well a minuet or two
you hug
you feel her curves
and then thew up down her back
the next thing you remember
is you are you
and why does
my head hurt so

Just remember to thank her for getting you home.

Deep night, vast shadow
Swallowing eternity
Tasting the nothing

It's a rough deal man,
this life.

I didn't ask for this ****.

It's not an easy gig,
being me.
I am what I am
and lots of the time,
that's ******* awesome,
but being surrounded by
simple mother *******
who are hell bent on
bringing me down
is tiring.

I bend but never break

They grind away with
their spiteful machinations
and greedy hidden agendas,
bereft of any compassion,
lacking any real substance.
They are shells packed with
hate, stuffed with ****,
and I can barely breathe
in the presence of such
fuckery.

I do it all for the boy;
I tolerate the average,
put up with the mediocre
and the mundane.

His life will not be as hard

I promise.