Stone washed denim sky,
Tree limbs bathed in emerald,
Birds whistle, dogs bark.

***** water sky,
Trees dipped in ebony ink,
Night, my lover now.

Right now I want to cut myself,
deep.
I'd like to drop lit,
wooden kitchen matches
onto my willing abdomen
and watch
my flesh melt
away.

Something has to give.

Bind me to an iron cross
and flay my skin.
Strike my joints
with a metal rod
until I am
completely broken.

This cannot last.

I'd like to grab
hold of the flesh
under my jaw
and rip my ugly face
off of my ugly head.
I want to pound nails
into my knees,
chew on thumb tacks,
skewer my eyes
with toothpicks.

I spent an hour
scraping calloused feet
and toes when I could
have cut them off
with a pruner
and saved some time.

I'd like to do these
things, but I am
not a *******
I am no victim.
I am no martyr.
I am not so deep
in The Nothing.

I would rather
perform these acts
upon you.

Sycamore floaters fill the park
and shadows grow long on the hill
as the sun sets on my peaceful oasis.
Dogs are being walked and chickens
are being watered.
The tweekers are on their
rigged up, gas powered bicycles, zipping through
the streets like squirrels in the ancient oak
tree guarding my corner of the block.
Everywhere I look I see fifteen million
emerald leaves shining back the truth to me.

Here and now,
basking in the echoes
of your voice,
I feel your hands on me.

Hands I've never seen.

I run my fingers through
your ironed hair
and softly kiss your cheek
as the stains of memory
fade.

Toad legs and tattoos
intertwine; skin to skin,
we become one.

Within you, I shed
my shadows.
Surrounding me,
your fears fall away.

This is my here and now
as the night blooms
and sleep gathers dust.

Soil, mulch and flora.
Odors of spring on bodies.
Peonies ripen.

With a mouth full of bile,
I kiss your rotting lips.
I spew my rancid seed
on your blackened eyes
and know they will soon
be crusted shut, tainted
by my sickly venom.

I am poison.

I seep into
your wet parts and
consume all that is good and pure,
leaving nothing but **** in
your bloodstream, ***** in your lungs.

I am malignant by nature,
malevolent by choice.

And I have chosen you as next.