What great a worry would have been on your mind,
that made you finally decide that death would be more kind.

Someone's words would have bought you solace,
or would it have made your mind more of a maze?

Maybe that maze would have led you home,
But you decided that you wanted to do it alone.

You let know no one inside that mind of yours,
thinking that no one would have the cures.

We should have seen the hints,
but you had prepared all the scripts.

Now, we sit here lost in thoughts,
trying to untie the knots,
seeking to realize the ought's.
Sorry, my friend.

I woke up, only to claw back toward sleep,
but your smile had already slipped,
your face dissolved into the dark corner,
and the space where I wish you were,
hold only my gentle whisper to you.  

Outside, the drizzle writes a symphony,
breeze combing through the tress sent a shiver,
small cheek-spotted sparrows scatter upward,
each chirp, each wingbeat humming your name.

While everything around keeps going on,
I'm slowly learning to hold absence,
like a sparrow holds the wind,
not by grasping, but letting it pass through.

Flowing tears pull me to the reality,
from existing thinking you are here,
some miles away or a call away,
living a joyous life everyday.

In that very warming fantasy,
wish I could remain, eternally,
or in those dreams painted in gold,
with you and the love we behold.

Like a storm, unannounced you came,
a force of nature I couldn’t understand;
when I closed the doors to my heart,
you  slipped in through the cracks.

Like a wildfire, fierce and untamed,
I felt your love and burned bright;
And though I knew it wouldn’t last,
I held on tightly to the fading past.

If not with a promise of forever,
why did fate bring us together?
A love so deep, yet bound to end,
you became a friend I couldn't defend.

I let you go, and it broke me inside,
saw you walk away, my tears I did hide;
thought in friendship I'd find some peace,
a fragile solace, a bittersweet release.

But again fate was cruel and unkind,
a choice made by your burdened mind;
the pain you carried, I never could heal,
a wound so deep, it didn’t feel real.

Is it a punishment for loving too much?
For giving my heart to your gentle touch?
The sleepless nights, the endless tears,
are haunted by your pain and fears.

If only I could have been there,
To ease your burden, your despair;
as a friend, a stranger, a listening ear,
perhaps I could have kept you near.

But fate, for some, has a cruel design,
stealing the stars, leaving darkness behind;
though our memories will always remain,
in my life through joy and pain.

Carols sounding all around,
Lights hanging like little fireflies,
Smiles, chattering, and laughter fills the air,
A good aura and aroma spreads around.

All of this, I once held dear, does not,
fill the void, that you left me with.

Replaying and rewinding in my head,
the last time I heard your voice,
all the words I could have said,
but didn't, crashing like waves,
they dash against each other,
but as the waves calm and quitens,
I'm left again, confused and lost.

Re-reading our conversations,
never able to make sense of it,
what was intended and what was not,
a new meaning forming in my head,
fogging up every other thought,
without an end, it goes on,
and will go on, till I breathe my last.

't was fate, to be blamed,
bringing two split from a stardust.
to love at the right place,
but at the wrong time.

The rest was at our hands,
but your life's decisions,
already taken and changing that,
meant the tears of others.

Rest assured, I was, believed,
if it was meant, it would,
only to spent the rest of life,
thinking where it went wrong.

Each day I realize how much I love you,
a truth growing deeper with time,
like roots anchoring the earth,
slowly becoming unshakeable.

Today it was about your name,
short and sweet, as it appeared,
I was swept away, not by a wave,
but an ocean of love and warmth.

Or, maybe it was a thought,
the quiet certainty you are somewhere,
watching over me with a smile,
with the serenity of stars in the sky.

Though constellations away from me,
I find a thread, a light connecting us,
by love and unspoken promises,
that distance or absence cannot break.

Dew on the grass at the break of dawn,
shimmering and glimmering at the tips,
when rays of the sun softly kissed them,
seemed a fleeting miracle, brief yet bright.

Just as you sparked a light in me,
by being you- your smiles, your fights,
with love that flowed deep into my soul,
where it lingers still, though you're gone.

To be content with what's on the plate,
not to complain, beg or be persuasive,
habits and lessons carried along for long,
destroying everything slowly, silently.

Fell in love, and silently was the intend,
till you gave your heart and efforts all,
though it wasn't right and not meant to be,
I took it without another thought or grouches.

With no expectations, gave in wholly,
your smile, never to fade, my daily prayer,
let you walk away, without a word of hurt,
only to see you struggle to run back to me.

A thought that never crossed my mind,
now haunting all my days on earth,
that if I'd been adamant and forceful,
you'd have been happy and breathing.

Family and friends, they care,
showering words of comfort.
This burden, though, I cannot share,
it dwells in my heart alone.

The one I could share with,
left me, with the guilt and a void,
If only, he had realized,
the weight he would be leaving with.

The demise of a twinkling in the sky,
igniting something here on earth.  
I'd believe you were stardust,
I've seen your eyes and their glow.

Stars, signs, cosmic theories,
never in my mind, never near,
until I met you, and I wondered,
how we felt the way we did and why.

Maybe we were once the same light,
scattered from a fallen shine,
the reason you felt so familiar to me,
a soul I could see, feel and love,
one I knew before the stars.

Eyes wont shut,
chaos in the mind,
curled up on the bed,
trembling hands,
and cold feet.

Thinking so deep,
but trying not to,
all the good ones,
and the bad ones,
start and end with you.

Head throbs,
sharp pain like,
a dagger piercing,
lump in the throat
and unable to breathe.

An escape,
into the darkness,
and the unknown,
to be in oblivion,
is all I desire for.

Night falls— once again,
the cold moon offers no answer—
Why did you leave?

I keep writing to you,
day in and day out,
in languages of wind -
questions with no address,
apologies unechoed.

Are you warm there?
Does the light stay gentle
on the face I still see
when I close my eyes?

Peace was never
what you knew best.
You were made of storms,
and wrecking silences.

So tell me,
if whispers cross that border:

Do you finally feel safe?
Or is it me stitching
meaning into absence?
If you're hurting, I would
trade every breath
to unknot the dark.

Still spinning stories,
not knowing, but begging the air:
one feather, my love.
Just one little sign to know:  
you're loved, you're safe,
you're light at last.

Every gentle breeze that brushes my face,
The melodies that soothe my ear,
The hues of sky and flowers I trace—
In every breath, you make my heart stir.

A love I never knew my heart could hold,
Though worlds apart, it only grows.
Each day draws me closer to the moment
When my eyes will behold your smile,
And forgotten joy will rise, alive.