To the person, I once loved, but cheated.

Sorry that it had to be you,
and sorry you found it this way.
Hurt you and brought tears time to time,
and will pay the fine with this life.

Wasn't lust that caught me in her web,
a thin line of friendship and love faded,
felt seen, heard, touched and understood,
'twas something new and I craved more.

Couldn't break the news and your heart,
so, kept it hidden, loving you the same.
Thought you couldn't live without me, and,
forgetting her would be easy, both wrong.

Being asked and forced to stop loving her,
pushed me deep into the well of her love.
A side of you I'd never seen revealed,
pulling me farther away from all of you.

Said you loved, and couldn't let go,
but made the air harder to breathe for me,
realized I had no way to out of the tangle,
decided to end it with a knot on the rope.

A burden I no longer can bear,
a guilt that holds me back,
a mistake, I wish happened different,
but must carry on till the end.

To wish for a punishment,
a way to ease the pain,
to suffer for hurting a gem,
and free me from this stain.

But maybe this is it,
to live with this burden,
pretending everything is alright,
as the guilt slowly smothers.

To be content with what's on the plate,
not to complain, beg or be persuasive,
habits and lessons carried along for long,
destroying everything slowly, silently.

Fell in love, and silently was the intend,
till you gave your heart and efforts all,
though it wasn't right and not meant to be,
I took it without another thought or grouches.

With no expectations, gave in wholly,
your smile, never to fade, my daily prayer,
let you walk away, without a word of hurt,
only to see you struggle to run back to me.

A thought that never crossed my mind,
now haunting all my days on earth,
that if I'd been adamant and forceful,
you'd have been happy and breathing.

All it took to shatter dreams',
was a compromise made to myself,
with only pure intentions and love,
but not a soul to hear them out.

Flowing tears, shed over months,
didn't take the grief along with it,
all the shame, guilt and regrets,
needed my life as the price to pay.