bury me alive, and let's just pretend it wasn't suicide
oh, you don't like me, well so do I — there's this ugly version
of myself that I can't deny, so to every girl I date, I always
pray you'll find a better guy

still, I fell in love with the rhythm of your eyes,
cos you always seem to view me as a better guy. to my
surprise, you give me reason to stay alive

but I always tell you not to read too deeply
on some of the things I say. darling I'm only human —
sometimes I make spelling errors, still was it a spell that
you fell in love with me?

      your purpose is love,
                 and I'll protect it with my life.

Eyes wont shut,
chaos in the mind,
curled up on the bed,
trembling hands,
and cold feet.

Thinking so deep,
but trying not to,
all the good ones,
and the bad ones,
start and end with you.

Head throbs,
sharp pain like,
a dagger piercing,
lump in the throat
and unable to breathe.

An escape,
into the darkness,
and the unknown,
to be in oblivion,
is all I desire for.

Replaying and rewinding in my head,
the last time I heard your voice,
all the words I could have said,
but didn't, crashing like waves,
they dash against each other,
but as the waves calm and quitens,
I'm left again, confused and lost.

Re-reading our conversations,
never able to make sense of it,
what was intended and what was not,
a new meaning forming in my head,
fogging up every other thought,
without an end, it goes on,
and will go on, till I breathe my last.

Realisation always knocks late,
followed by regrets creeping in,
ought to be carried for a long time,
destroying us little by little each day.

The greatest one I bear now,
making me die a little each day,
is that I let you go, not knowing,
leaving was a decision you'd regret.

Charming looks and honeyed words,
you had them easy and out always,
and to fall for that version of you,
was easy and many did come that way.

Got lost in our friendship and I too,
reached there, but so very differently;
slowly, mesmerized by your kindness,
imperfections and your childishness.

Felt a profound love, my first one, and,
you, never knew love was so deep.
For, though you had meant fooling,
our love had the power to transform us.

Easy to walk away you thought;
and you tried, but you just couldn't.
Though forever was not in the picture,
invisibly the hearts were connected .

Too late to make things right,
unwilling to leave, the heart stayed;
with no wants or needs whatsoever,
but love to give to each other.