Another day ends in darkness,
with the same routine beginning,
of soaking the pillows with tears,
whispering words of comfort to myself.

The ticking of the clock,
and soft noises piercing into my ears,
makes me want to scream my lungs out,
but I just struggle to silence the next sob.

And on nights like these,
I wish I could join you, wherever,
bringing an end to the pain engulfing me.
Just can't find the strength to seek the unknown.

Carols sounding all around,
Lights hanging like little fireflies,
Smiles, chattering, and laughter fills the air,
A good aura and aroma spreads around.

All of this, I once held dear, does not,
fill the void, that you left me with.

The more I seek answers,
the more tangled my thoughts get.
You left to find a happier place,
and it haunts me that it wasn't under the same sky.

Like how a shoot sprouts from earth,
each day, a thought emerges in my mind,
Of the coulds and shoulds and if's,
Even though I know they are all in vain.

Like a tiny splinter,
stuck deep in the skin,
You are in my thoughts,
every minute of the day...

The ones who care,
they try to help me get it out,
But I keep pushing you deep,
not ready to let go ever...

It hurts, and I have run out,
of tears to shed and words to say.
But you are safe within me,
never judged or blamed...

I wish upon the shooting stars and on every 11:11,
that you'd come back with your radiant smile.
You are in a place, no one's come back from,
I can only wonder if you are fine and wait...

They took away my sunshine,
Far away where I couldn't reach.
Without an endless sky to fall on,
the light slowly started burning low...

The next I know,
he was wrapped in white cloth,
and lowered deep into the earth,
But this time, it was his choice...

Family and friends, they care,
showering words of comfort.
This burden, though, I cannot share,
it dwells in my heart alone.

The one I could share with,
left me, with the guilt and a void,
If only, he had realized,
the weight he would be leaving with.

Words in my mind lingered there,
like the warmth after a sunset.
Longing to depart from my lips,
but in a battle with the mind.

Buried the words in my heart,
wrapped up with the pain.
Those words would have saved you,
If only I'd known the power they held.