Everytime I look at my own picture
It feel like I'm looking at a stranger

It takes me a moment
To realise that's me

I've changed
In ways I don't know

I'm not my old self
I'm a stranger to myself

I'm a stranger
Who I'll never get used to

It's all so quiet
Silent within its hidden slumber
And dreams a beautiful dream which guides and cools the Windrush on the water.

Its dream song flows through my patterns
Atoms wave like sunkist fields of wheat
So peaceful is its essence
It is silent when it speaks.

Black Mind

The thoughts stay awake in my mind
bullied all my life even when I was kind
Struggling, yearning for my weight to go back down,
to where it was when I didn’t frown
Constant reminders of myself
Shopping windows, mirrors and family,
they even put me in therapy
“Brush it off” they all say
talking,screaming,shouting so abruptly
The voices so loud I can’t even distinguish my own laugh

it doesn’t leave

I want it to cast me away
Take me to an unknown island
Forget about me, leave me with the grass
my “flabby arms” and “visible stomach” are my worst enemy,
worse than the seven trench built army
The bullying soldiers both inside and out
They must be right?  
I do not doubt

Somebody help me
Tell me I’m right
Young girls find value in appearance  
This diabolical and alluded kite
This will **** many like me,
who’ve suffered enough and cannot breathe
So please teach them to be smart
you can do more with a brain than you can a face
but in this age, it is a race

I've been looking for my husband
Somehow i cant find him
I imagined what he's like
I painted a picture in my head
Tall big man
Loving God is his first option
So submitting to him should be easy for me
I've been looking for my husband
Somehow i cant find him
Even a stranger who holds a door open for me I look into his eyes as i say thank you
Thinking to myself
I wonder if thats him
I've been looking for my husband
Somehow i cant find him
I dont want to play games anymore
Im no longer a little girl
I want to make him complete
With all this LOVE that i have
No i dont want to move too fast
My next move must be better than my last move
If i really want it to last
So for now im done looking for my husband
I've LEARNED you seem to find things when you're not looking for them.

Today, nothing to say
Today, is just what it is
Today, being in the flow, working with what comes my way
Today, love is at the base of it all. If it moves up Great but if it's
             just apart of the foundation of it all, Wonderful
Today, wondering and wandering...knowing the adventure is
             the discovery
Today, HAPPY with what is, where I am, what I have
Today, the beginning, the end and the beginning again
Today, a low key celebration but a celebration none the less
Today, deep breath, a smile, maybe a laugh, a song, a dance
Today, no judging. No labeling. No comparing. No competing
             ...just being
Today, Today, Today
              I Love. I am Loved, I share, I receive
Today, is what it is...
             TODAY

Lately
I don’t feel close
to poetry.

It feels elusive.
Unfamiliar.
Once it spoke to me.
But now it’s mute.

It sits back
and doesn’t look
at me.

If I call out
it doesn’t hear.

Lately poetry is
like that demon
I used to want
to reappear.