Think back to a time when the world was innocent
When the sun didn't torture
Think back to the last time your smile wasn't a lie
I bet you can't
You live in your plastic world
Where nothing can be tarnished
And a single dent in your flawless identity
Is worse then ******* the oxygen out of a child's lungs
And devouring their soul deep within your selfish throat
My identity is full of darkness
Yet it's required in your presence to find a positive light
It's exhausting to pretend, it's exhausting to see your perfect face
Because you know what I'm never going to be okay
I hate how it's okay to be happy
Because happiness is only meant to leave those who are unfortunate enough in feeling it more aware of what it is like to want to watch the life drip out of every pore that freckles their skin
How can you possibly understand?
You wont until you blow you're life away because the only time you felt pain you couldn't handle it
I guess it's just a perfect ******* day for bananafish
boom

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It doesn't look the way it feels
It doesn't feel the way it should
She can feel her mind collapsing in her head
And nobody is there to watch as she falls
Nobody to see it fall in the shape of tears
It feels like a pulsating sensation
It feels like someone is softly taking a bristle brush
and moving it over her swelling brain
And nobody is there to see the convulsions
Nobody to see as all the progress slithers like ghosts to hide in the walls
Old habits can come back
And the only thing left to save her is the pleas of a twisted conscious
crying no in the fog inside the suffocating reason chocking
And nobody is there to hold her hand as she gasps for breath
Nobody is to hold her hand as another piece of her is cut and thrown away to rot in the field with all her other feelings left for dead

She writes a story of an empty promise
A shallow dream
Where a body lays sloppily covered with a mound of dirt
Screaming for attention it never got within the existence of life
Nobody seems to mind
While the soul of the tormented cries selfishly over what was lost
What was taken for granted
Given up without a thought
Now left to wallow in the winds
No chance for tomorrow
And nobody to blame but his own stupid choice
To put a revolver in his mouth
And press the button
To an unforgivable sin
An irreversible curse of self pity
And the inability to feel the tickle of God's creatures ripping away what is left
Of that hallow subsistence
She writes a story of an empty promise
Again..
and Again...
With no chance for an end

Wrap me up so tight,
so tight
In your big strong arms
I'm so happy I could die
Kiss me on the forehead
The butterflies fly,
they fly
And I could stay in your arms forever
I'll put on your t-shirt that you threw on the floor
From our sleepover the night before
The one I slipped on when you chased me out of the bed
And caught me before my head hit the door
Where the popcorn exploded all over the kitchen
Because we were too busy to notice the popping
Since I'm so ticklish (it's a little ridiculous!)
And you have all the resistance in the world.
And the next time I see you
I'll beat you at the staring contest
Even though I hate staring
Maybe I'll just kiss you
And the world will be at peace
We can lay under the stars again
And watch the earth spinning around
Talking about nothing in particular
But everything that is important
You can be the **** stranger I've never noticed
And I can be the girl who has been waiting all her life for you.

Hello stranger,
Do you want to be my friend?
I noticed you from across the room and my heart started to skip a beat
I'll be honest with you
Even though I don't know you
You're eyes are the most beautiful things I have ever seen,
I haven't felt so strong about a stranger in a long time
But someday I can see myself loving you
Is that strange?

I guess not
Since you took my hand and sat me down
Talked to me for hours
And never tried to make anything but a cautious sound
Told me I was beautiful
And I believed it for the first time in years
You called me the next day
And we spent all day replaying images in our head
On the cool moist grass with the sun purposely reddening our skin

I looked into your eyes
A blue I have never seen
Something like the sunlit sky and the darkest part of the ocean mixed cautiously over low heat
I told you again how your eyes made my heart sink
And you told me that they are only blue
That mine are so rare, dark, green, and beautiful
I felt butterflies flying like crazy
And I wanted to lean in and kiss your soft full lips
But you beat me to it
And I can honestly say
It felt better than good
And now you're stuck in my head.

Tie this red ribbon

Around my eyes
So tight that I can't see

Maybe it will squeeze away
How much you mean to me.
Pull it tighter and tighter until
My feelings fall out of my mind
And into these walls
A memory of what would never be
A love one sided, unforgiving, and untrue to you
Just take it
Take it all
Take my heart
Then take my soul
I don't know where I stand
I'm not going to understand

Take this ribbon
Wrap it tight
Tie it in knots
I'll win this time
Make me fall
Make me crawl
You've already done
So much worse to me
Break me
Shake me
Push me down

I just want to

Stop waiting for you to come around

Take this ribbon
Remove it from my eyes
Cut it into to pieces
Burn it
Throw it
Just so it's no longer in my sight

I watch you walk out the door
And all I do is cry
It plays over in my head
And I wish there was never such a thing as goodbye
Because my heart is healing on pieces of shattered ice
It stings and it burns and it's sharper than glass
I fake a smile and live my life
Because I can't hold onto a broken past
And I know even though the days feel empty
And the hours replay thoughts of you in my mind
I'm letting go
But its going to take time
There's no use in convincing someone to love me
Even though I think I need you in my life
I want you more than I've ever wanted anything
The abandonment hurts worse than burning alive
I thought you were different
But you let me down the same way that all the people I ever let my self love did
And I hope someday I can move on
And I hope I can find someone that can love me
Not pretend like they do because they needed me to be there
I don't want to be a doormat, an outlet, someone to take all your anger out on.
I need someone that I can never let down
Even when I'm at my worse
Someone who will hold my heart with security
And I hope I can let myself love again
Because I'm so ******* sick of being broken hearted
And it would be such a shame because I am such a loving person
With so much to give
I'm sick of people saying that they love me
Then breaking my heart and letting me fall down.
I'm sick of being alone
And dreaming of you in my bed
I'm sick of breathing sometimes
I'm just exhausted because this isn't what I wanted
I've never felt so low and down about myself in my entire life