Maybe a month ago.
I would have thought about you.
& hoped all was well.
Well enough for me.
To be able to check in.
To a small motel.
That you hold close to your heart.
Which resides on the outskirts of your sleeve.
I mean after all.
We both know I can be classified as one.
An outsider that is.
Because its been much longer than a month.
Since I've been a nearby presence.
Or even a neighboring smile.
But more of a far-off memory.
That has been followed by absence.
& if it's anything like they say.
Absence somehow has a way.
Of making the heart grow fonder.
But that was a month ago.
..& my maybe was hypothetical.

Maybe yesterday.
I would have thought about you.
& found myself.
On the verge of saying hello.
Asking if everything was everything.
From school being school.
But it's something you love.
From your family being your family.
& they are everything you live for.
From work being work.
With it being something to just get you by.
Leaving love to be love.
Where you aren't looking.
But if it were to happen.
You wouldn't mind.
& I wouldn't mind that for you.
Because after everything.
That you've dealt with because of me.
& vice versa.
We both deserve that one day.
Just not from each other.
But that was yesterday.
..& my maybe was hypothetical.

Maybe tomorrow.
I will think about you.
& pray you think enough about me.
To send me a quick text.
Or a small email.
Where you tell me.
All the things.
I've thought of telling you.
Where you ask.
All the questions.
I find myself being to hesitate.
To ask you.
But there is nothing hesitate about you.
Your words are simple.
Your tone seems to be complex.
& I find that you are asking me a favor.
That I know I will have to commit.
No response.
No reaching out.
Just giving you time.
To think for yourself.
& find all the pieces that have become ajar.
But that is tomorrow.
..& my maybe is hypothetical.

Maybe a few years from now.
I will think about you.
& time will have healed.
Just like.
All the voices I hear around me.
Said it would.
& from there.
I can meet you for coffee.
Or maybe even tea.
Where we can show each other pictures.
Of the babies we went half on.
Without you or I.
Being the other half we thought we'd be.
You named your boy Hayden.
While I named my girl Riley.
Knowing those were the names.
We picked for ours.
But we aren't bothered.
Because we are happy.
We are loved.
We are where we are meant to be.
But that is a few years from now.
..& my maybe is hypothetical.

Maybe a month ago, I would’ve hoped.
Maybe yesterday, I would’ve said hello.
Maybe tomorrow, I will pray.
Maybe a few years from now, I will heal.
But today is today.
& you are under the same roof as me.
About thirty feet away.
Where you know I'm here as well.
So you wait until I'm watching.
To smile & laugh.
Make jokes & take phone calls.
& pretend you are just amazing.
Now that I'm not there.
Which makes me show no emotion.
Tell everyone I don't care.
Because if I say it long enough.
I'm bound to eventually believe it.
But what I do believe.
Is that today is a vicious cycle.
With no maybes.
..& nothing about it is hypothetical.

i bet you never had
someone hit you
so hard
like a wave.

i bet you never
thought the day
would come
where someone
would be so eager
to stay.

well i can’t make
any promises,
and you can’t expect
to do the same either,
but when i look at you,
something speaks truth,
and i just gotta
tell you.

i wanna know you.
i wanna know what gets you
going like you do.
i wanna know you.
why do you do the things you
do?

on friday night,
do you like to watch horror movies?
or are you the type,
to hang with your groupies
and smoke a doobie outside?

well, i’d choose neither.
and i **** at pulling
all-nighters,
but this little song
is not about me.

hey there,
hey you,
when i look at you,
something speaks the truth,
and i just gotta tell you.

i wanna know you.
i wanna know what gets you
going like you do.
i wanna know you.
why do you do the things you
do?

they say if you ever lose
your sense of spark,
then something isn’t right.

and i can’t promise
to always be your sunshine,
but i’ll try and i’ll try
to always be the light.

if you’re in a room,
and you feel the gloom,
and nothing feels like
it’s going right,
look at me,
and you’ll see
somebody who likes

the way that you are,
the way that you do,
oh, you, hey you,
i’m digging you.

cause when i look at you,
something speaks truth,
and i just gotta
tell you.

i wanna know you.
i wanna know what gets you
going like you do.
i wanna know you.
why do you do the things you
do?

i bet you never had
someone hit you
so hard
like a wave.

i bet you never
thought the day
would come
where someone
would be so eager
to stay.

i wanna know everything.
because you’ve got that something,
that i can’t explain.

Let's pretend we are not in love

And go on walking

So I can fall for you

All over again