Last night I saw a shooting star,
and it made me think of you.
Brilliant white, and trailing light,
against a sky of purple blue.

I wonder if you saw it,
and if it made you think of me.
I wonder if you smiled,
as it burned, and ceased to be.

I wonder if you made a wish,
and what that wish could be.
I know it's wishful thinking,
but did it involve me?

Sorry, I know, I'm just wondering,
you probably missed it anyways.
I'll  still hold on to my wish though,
of long forgotten days...

We shall speak of many things,
of life and love between.
We shall find the tiny spaces,
and explore each other's dreams.

You can lose yourself inside my mind,
growing lost among the sweet.
But do not fear, for you my dear,
need only follow your feet.

Take the path that I have made,
and meet me at the end.
For I'll be there, and there I'll share,
my hopes upon the wind.

There is no need for breadcrumbs,
just follow right along.
For at the end, is where we begin,
and it's right where you belong.

The colors are back,
so crisp and clear.
The loneliness is better,
as well as the fear.

I was wandering,
just floating along.
I was going through the motions,
acting like nothing was wrong.

I had given up,
and I can see that now.
I knew I could get better,
I just didn’t know how.

So I wandered, and I walked,
down paths to nowhere,
looking for something,
that wasn’t quite clear.

You were the light,
when the world became dark,
when I wanted to give up,
I would see your spark.

So I kept on going,
searching for you,
wondering if you were real,
but I hadn’t a clue.

Your light became brighter,
the closer I got,
and soon I was running,
towards that tiny dot.

The colors came back,
so crisp and clear.
The loneliness got better,
as well as the fear.

Suddenly you were there,
and that’s when I knew.
You were my beacon,
but I was yours too.

We were wandering lost,
trying to find some hope,
seeing each other,
at the ends of our ropes.

So let’s light up the world,
that we create.
We can do it together,
before it’s too late.

I never knew,
it could hurt this much.
Feeling so lost,
and so out of touch.

I break the surface,
but get pulled back down.
My will to struggle,
fights my desire to drown.

Every day, it's tortured thoughts,
of memories we made.
Now I know, that they're all false,
and my sanity simply fades.

So now the question is the gun or pills,
the razor blade or rope?
Each day, the idea makes more sense,
as I'm slowly losing hope.

If I could just be thrown away,
what use could I be?
And if I see you with him,
I'll lose my sanity.

The dreams are the worst.
because they're still happy you see.
For just a moment, when I wake up,
you're still lying next to me.

Then the walls, come crashing down,
and the memories rush in.
I have to relive everything,
again, and again, and again.

Then it's once again the gun or pills,
the rope or razor blade,
as I traverse the life we built,
and the emptiness you made.

This could be purgatory,
or it really could be hell,
but if there is a difference,
then I simply cannot tell.

I just want the pain to end,
no matter what it takes,
because no one should have to live,
feeling they're a mistake.

I simply can't take it,
my heart hurts inside my chest.
I tried to be a good man,
but I failed to do my best.

So now it's just a choice,
I just have to choose the way.
I've finally found some happiness,
cause this pain will end today.

I'm Sorry

ad·dic·tion
əˈdikSH(ə)n/Submit
noun
the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.


Step back a second,
before you judge,
and let me tell you the facts,
of addiction to drugs.

People think it’s clear cut,
that you chose to be an addict.
That the bottle, or needle,
is just some kind of tick.

They don’t know the fear,
when you’re not in control.
When you’re crying, while using,
and it’s ripping you’re soul.

They don’t know the feeling,
when you start to hide it away.
It’s a secret, I’m fine,
just another day.

They can’t see the battle,
of you versus your mind.
When you’re scared you might die,
but you try to act fine.

They don’t know the feeling,
when you know that they know,
and they don’t say a thing,
as you watch their disappointment grow.

They don’t know you slept,
on the bathroom floor,
passed out from your drug,
because you shut the door.

They don’t see,
you pushing your sides.
Checking your organs,
hoping today you won’t die.

Your fingernails are pink,
thats healthy right?
You don’t have a problem,
your eyes are still bright.

Who are you fooling,
they see the weight loss.
They know somethings wrong,
but it’s a bridge they won’t cross.

Now your on your own,
fighting your own brain,
trying your best to stop,
but you’re going insane.

Your addiction has won,
and you still try to fight.
That’s what no one sees,
is that you never lost sight.

That voice in your head,
that person you used to be,
has been drowned out,
by that addictive personality.

You want to apologize,
to simply beg for help,
but the shame stops you,
because you just blame yourself.

You didn’t choose to be this,
and you wish to take it back,
but you don’t think they’ll believe you,
because they can’t see the cracks.

Please don’t judge me,
I don’t want this at all.
I wish you understood,
that I’m against the wall.

I want my life back,
I want it to go away.
I never wanted to disappoint,
I didn’t want to be afraid.

Help me.


If you are having addiction struggles, I urge you to contact the helpline 1-888-508-4193.  There is no shame in admitting you need help with something you cannot control. I wish the best for you all.

Running, running,
running away.
Running to a time,
that isn’t today.

Wasting, wasting,
wasting away.
Something isn’t right,
I’ve gone astray.

Slipping, slipping,
slipping away.
Losing my grip,
a little more each day.

Crying, trying,
flying away.
What do I do,
please help me today.

Never mind,not your fault,
just run away.
I’ll try to fix me,
tomorrow, not today.

The best parts of you,
are what make me, me.
My smile, my hair,
my personality.

You grew me inside you,
and nurtured me slow,
smiling when I kicked,
and helping me grow.

How could I not love you?
Without you, there’s no me.
I could never imagine,
life without you, you see?

Every fall, every scrape,
every skinned knee.
You made such a big deal,
at every injury.

I know it’s not easy,
and I can be a brat,
but when I really need you,
you’re there to hold me so fast.

You’re the diplomat, the cook,
you’re the washer and nurse.
You can be a bit crazy,
but you held me first.

Now I am older,
and understand the truth.
There is no handbook,
that shows you what to do.

You winged it mom,
always questioning things,
but you never stopped trying,
and never stopped giving.

I love you for that,
for the unhindered love.
For the meals, and the talks,
and for the endless hugs.

I will always love you,
because you’re the best parts of me.
You’re a fighter, a wonder,
you’re what I wish to be.


Happy Mother’s Day