Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
but I just can't.

It isn't in my blood.

Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing.
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something,
I could take to ease my mind slowly.

Just have a drink and you'll feel better.
Just take her home and you'll feel better.
Keep telling me that it gets better.

Does it ever?

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
no medicine is strong enough,
someone help me.

I'm crawling in my skin.
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
but I just can't.

It isn't in my blood.

It isn't in my blood.

I'm looking through my phone again, feeling anxious.
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this.
I'm trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh.

Is there somebody who could Help me?
It’s like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
no medicine is strong enough.

Someone help me.

I'm crawling in my skin.
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
but I just can't.

It isn't in my blood.

It isn't in my blood.

I need somebody now,
I need somebody now.
Someone to help me out,
I need somebody now.

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
but I just can't.

It isn't in my blood,
It isn't in my blood,
It isn't in my blood.

I need somebody now,
It isn't in my blood.
I need somebody now.



It isn't in my blood.

Since the day I was born,
you have always been there.
Showing me love,
showing me that you care.

You have watched me grow up,
into the man that I am.
You taught me my manners,
to say ''please'' and ''yes maam''.

It has been a long road,
it's been curved and rough,
but you always stick by me,
and you never give up.

So now I’m thinking back,
to when I was so small.
With you watching Godzilla,
and the cyclops in Krull.

Laughing hysterically,
at the mangy king kong.
Hiding my face in your shirt,
when chucky did wrong.

The hours and hours,
of pitching skills taught,
and the bruises and swellings,
that each lesson brought.

So many memories,
that you have given to me,
and an outlook on life,
that few others can see.

You are the mother,
every child wishes for.
The one I show tears to,
my best friend and more.

So to the mother I love,
I just wanted to say,
that you've made me so proud,
to be your son every day...

I reach for your hand,
and I give a soft squeeze.
I lean my head back,
and enjoy the warm breeze.

I take in the sight,
of the snow covered peaks,
as the tears stream my face,
and I wipe off my cheeks.

The top of the world,
is a beautiful place,
but it still doesn't match,
the smile on your face.

You have given me hope,
when all hope was lost,
and you've shown me that love,
can come at no cost.

You believed in me,
when no one else would,
and you stand by my side,
where no one has stood.

You have taken my heart,
and pieced it back whole.
You’ve  helped me to stand,
and gave me back my soul.

I don't know what to say,
for all that you do,
and for the love that you give me,
and your selflessness to.

But I can promise you love,
until the end of all time,
and I'll stand by you forever,
with your hand safe in mine.

My sweet, beautiful angel,
the love of my life.
My reason for living,
and my soon to be wife...

I was walking a tunnel,
so cold and alone.
With no light to guide me,
no way to be shown.

I walked, and I walked,
for days upon nights.
Just a long empty tunnel,
with no end in sight.

That was my life,
before I met you,
and where I was going,
I hadn't a clue.

You took away my fear,
and you made me complete.
Something I always thought,
an impossible feat.

This love that we share,
feels just like a dream,
and I feel like my heart,
may burst at the seams.

You are selfless and caring,
and you have always been there.
You look through my flaws,
cause you simply don't care.

You are perfect to me,
in every way.
In all that you do,
and all that you say.

You have taken my soul,
and filled in the crease.
Your my soulmate, my love,
you were my missing piece...

If I gave you a knife,
and asked you to cut,
would you do it I wonder,
and if so, how much?

slash

Would you hesitate?
Would your mind suddenly freeze?
Or would you take pleasure,
in bringing me to my knees?

slash

Would the sight of my blood,
shock you enough to quit?
Would the sight of the scars,
make you loosen your grip?

slash

Would the simple knowledge,
of those scars frighten you?
When you realized,
they were both old an new?

slash

Would the memories pour in,
of holding the same knife askew?
Memories of cutting,
when I didn’t ask you to.

slash

Would your anger, and hatred,
suddenly melt away?
When you realized I was ASKING,
for you to cut me this way.

slash

Would you finally break down,
when you could hear my words?
“I am sorry, I deserve this”,
over and over whispered.

slash

Would you take me in your arms,
and try to soothe me?
I’d like to believe you would,
if you could only see.

slash

I’ll allow you to cut me,
because it’s what I earned.
I just wish you would stop,
or at least show concern.

slash........
*thud

In the darkest time,
when I was at my worst.
I woke up on the floor,
with a black-out thirst.

I drank to forget,
to sleep without dreams.
It worked while I held it,
then it started holding me.

This poem’s not about drinking,
or making an excuse.
It’s about what I forgot,
while forgetting you.

No, I take that back,
It’s not what I forgot.
This is about what I remember,
and now I remember a lot.

I met you on Facebook,
through the Stephen King group.
Then, I was happily married,
and then so were you.

We became quick friends,
both sarcastic and rude.
It was innocent friendship,
just friendship, it’s true.

Then we became closer,
as my problems grew,
and your baby was born too early,
but we helped each other through.

We became best friends,
discussing everything.
I watched your kids grow,
and laughed when you’d sing.

It was innocent,
but didn’t stay that way.
Because I realized you loved me,
and that I felt the same way.

We said it to each other,
as casual friends,
but we both knew the meaning,
of each syllable sent.

Then we planned to meet,
me divorced, but you not.
We were both so excited,
the tickets already bought.

I felt so guilty,
because I was at my worst.
I knew I wasn’t coming,
but I think you knew first.

We fought then,
and I ran away.
Deleted everything,
and grew worse every day.

Your trip came and passed,
and I wanted to call.
I was so ******* ashamed,
I let you down after all.

Six months went by,
and I wrote an email each day.
My mouse would waver on send,
but never send it away.

I did finally send it,
and we’re talking again.
But it’s different now,
and I want it to mend.

Now you’re divorced,
and unhappy I know.
You dealt with that **** alone,
because I was a no show.

I can never express,
how sorry I am.
I can never take it back,
and for that I am ******.

You deserved more,
than the sole of my shoe.
You deserved so much more,
than my stupid “I love you”.



I’m sorry....

Generalized *******,
anatomically anomaly.
Undoubtedly, indubitably,
masagonistic managomy.

Peaceably, restricting me,
consequently bare.
Panoramic, parasitic,
encompassing stare.

Romantically constipated,
embarrassing bore.
Grossly, morosely,
simplistic *****.

Wheedling, needling,
nasally voice.
Halitosis, boisterous,
unrealistic choice.