Hi, it’s me,
I’m just checking in.
I know you don’t want to talk,
or see me again.

I just miss you, ya know?
This is so **** hard.
I was doing ok,
until I got your card.

I broke down then,
and realized what I’d done.
I could tell you I’m sorry,
no excuses, not one.

I was more broken,
than even I knew.
I guess I wasn’t ready,
cause the glue was still new.

If we’d only met,
when I was still whole.
I think it might of been different,
or maybe I’d still be an *******.

I just wanted to say,
that I’m sorry is all.
You deserved better,
and I let you fall.

I’ll let you go,
you’re busy I bet.
Just know that I loved you,
and please don’t forget.

You’ve already taken,
all that I had.
My ambition, my drive,
even my dreams have turned bad.

I can’t keep doing this,
you're killing me ya know.
It took a long time to realize,
I was out of control.

I thought you were helping,
at first it was fun.
You helped me relax,
but I have to be done.

Some days I don’t miss you,
and others it’s hell.
I wish I could forget you,
but I miss your smell.

How can you be so seductive,
and dangerous too?
And why don’t I seem normal,
unless I have you?

Today is bad,
I need you I think.
My brain won’t shut up,
and sanity’s on the brink.

You intoxicate me,
you literally do.
I’m wasting away though,
and that’s literal too.

So please stay away,
and get out of my head.
Let me live my life,
without so much dread.

Today’s a bad day,
I’ll try to be strong.
I think I can do it,
but I don’t know for how long.

My breath disappears,
and my knees become weak.
You say that your sorry,
as these tears stream your cheeks.

Time suddenly stops,
and my breath will not come.
Standing here speechless,
broken and numb.

A moment in time,
that I will never forget.
The moment you left,
and filled my heart with regret.

My breath suddenly comes,
in short ragged strokes.
My eyes become blurry,
and burn as I choke.

You wipe away tears,
as you turn and walk away.
As i'm fighting for words,
for something to say.

I say the three words,
that echo in my mind.
I whisper "I love you",
the only words I can find.

You hesitate for a second,
and then keep walking on.
My heart slowly breaks,
and just like that you are gone.

A moment in time,
and a heart that won't mend.
The day that I lost you,
my true love, my best friend...

Your heart is racing,
about to derail.
Your conciousness fading,
about to set sail.

Your eyes start to water,
as tears prepare to fall.
But you cannot allow it,
show no weakness at all.

Concentrate on your hands,
open the paper again.
Look through the words,
without taking them in.

Try not to break,
they're counting on you.
Shut out the pain,
it's all you can do.

The tears can come,
when your finally alone.
But not a second before,
now steady your tone.

Keep your voice natural,
so they know your ok.
The last thing they need,
is to worry bout you today.

Your knees may be weak,
and your stomach's in knots.
But give them a smile,
to steady their thoughts.

So think about anything,
other than what's tearing you apart.
They're counting on you,
so don't let the tears start.

You are their rock,
so never show them your sorrow.
Because they need your strength now,
and they'll need it tomorrow.

This is it,
the end of things.
The end of hope,
and the end of dreams.

Nothing is worth it,
no need to hold on.
The message is simple,
I need to get gone.

This pen on the paper,
is meaningless now.
I wish i could explain,
but I do not know how.

Meaning is fleeting,
and doesn't matter at all.
Nothing is there,
just a very long fall.

I'm sorry for this,
for the confusion and pain.
I've got nothing left,
and that drives me insane.

So no long goodbyes,
this is selfish I know.
I love you all dearly,
but it's time I should go.

****, messy,
exquisitely wet.
A soft moan escapes you,
as our lips met.
Slide my hand up your shirt,
to the small of your back.
Your muscles are tense,
the night is so black.
I pull you in close,
my other hand in your hair.
You grind hard against me,
moaning at what’s there.
This is wrong, and we know it,
so wrong, it’s taboo.
We can stop it right here,
but neither one of us do.
Now your hand is clutching,
and it’s like fire now.
We’re ripping, and tearing,
like animals on the prowl.
There are climaxes,
too many to count.
We’re gasping, and panting,
and both screaming out.
We’re using each other,
like we knew that we would.
It’s so ******* wrong,
but it’s so ******* good.
The guilt can come later,
as well as the shame.
But not while I’m inside you,
not while your screaming my name.

What has happened to me,
to my social skills?
Frantic, and panicked,
are not conditionally ideal.

I want you to like me,
I want you to see.
To see through my awkwardness,
and help set me free.

I do talk too much,
my mouth won’t shut up.
It’s like the relay in my brain,
is broken, or corrupt.

I’m not usually like this,
I hear my mouth say.
Constantly apologizing,
and then you’ve gone away.

I want to explain,
the jumbled mess of my head.
But I don’t know how to do it,
without making it worse instead.

No I’m not weird,
I’ve just been alone.
Social skills need exercise,
and mine are skin and bones.

When you walk away,
another part of me dies.
Part of me wants to explain,
and part of me wants to cry.

Im turning into two people,
the oddball and the norm.
When they try to coexist,
it creates the perfect storm.

So no, I don’t blame you,
for walking away.
Just know that I’m sorry,
for being this way.