this is an orchestra
of a cliche comedy
or some rhytmic tragedy
never clear to be seen
fiendly hard for me

i see fairy dusts
spiralling in the blaze
i find Atlas trying hard
to hold the time for me
albeit
all of this inanities

this is a play
in which with drugs i've played
i've smiled and i've said
the very sweet lines
from the script of life
yet the sweat and tears left unpaid

I am filled with so many thoughts
Filled with anxiety
Filled with frustration
Filled with irritability
I am so full there is barely any room
I need to loosen up
Too let my guard down and let people in
I need to stop hiding
Stop isolating
And quit the secrecy
I'm missing out on so much
I just need to let go
And let God take control

I have fallen from grace
What oppression I face
One man
Would kick me when I am down
And when I am drown
By his violent opinions of self importance
I have time
To contemplate
Any one persons relevancy
In the grand scheme
Of gravity
I fall beautifully.

Everytime i look at my scars i think of the suffering.
the pain
the hurt
the feeling of the people who are susposed to love and nuture you rejecting you
the suffering...
oh the suffering..
someone..
anyone..
please..
take it away..
make it stop..
why am i like this...??