in a room sits a man with a sunflower
there is nothing else in the room, he has
plenty of space to move around
but some days, it feels much smaller

he sits on the floor with his sunflower
and just watches it, his life is best
       when he just watches it
there is one window, always shining light
for the sunflower to follow,
       as sunflowers do

every so often, the man hides the sunflower
maybe he is bored, more likely scared
he puts it in the corner,
in the closet
       anything to keep it away from the sun
he will remove layers of his skin
so that he has something to cover the window
       anything to keep the light out of the room

his head buried in the ground
his eyes too red to read
       what would he read, anyway?
curled in a ball, he sleeps in the corner
       hiding

it takes time
but the sunflower       again
finds its way back to the center of the room
it begins to grow        again
it continues to follow the light
       as sunflowers do

sometimes he wakes up and notices,
and a smile breaks the crust on his lips
he sits with it, brushes the pedals       and cries
sometimes things are good
       sometimes he is okay with it
but we on the outside of the room
      we wait
until the light under the door disappears
until he       again       suffocates the sunflower with darkness
each time, the flower growing closer to death
       i don't know how to make him stop,
       but i wish the flower would just die

there is a darkness, an
                                   emptiness of my existence
yet in my pocket, always, is the

                                  light

someone else is missing
if only it shone stronger in my skies
but for now, in this space,
it is bright enough

****, her curl game crazy, my shawty lazy
she layin in the bed on a Sunday, it's hazy
i order pizza, my lovely gettin tasty
my wifey, my type beat, she in my head replayin
like me, she feisty, hold me down
she the type to ride until the ground
ride me, she likes the supersize me
and im lovin the sights that only I see
she hot and icy, rockin the white ice creams
aint no shoes in the corner coming from side teams
snap awake, she overtaken all my dreams, i done
wrote about her, my paper stackin to five reams
i know she driving me crazy
im sleeping less, more late nights of lately
im driving high, no highways to my baby
she the only one with the love that can save me

girl, you buzzing by
send a message, get me stressing
i get these butterflies
need your honey, not money, now im so lost in
those eyes
and the way that you're lookin, you got me sayin
where we goin tonight?
where we goin tonight?

said, you been stuck on my mind for a while now
i been thinking of sweet lines to calm me down
my heart writes with pistol ink still packing, but you
keep takin off with actors hogging all of the action
and i can't understand it, where's all the planning?
her heads in the clouds, and i can't see her ever landing
honey lost in the moves, let her hide from the truth
give me thoughts to list off in the booth, now she
hit me up on the come down, so i come round
every time, its like she finally love me now
show me songs, baby singing from my mouth
aint no thoughts in my head, she sayin them all aloud
now she gone, wait
there's gotta be another way
there's gotta be something more i could say
i know there's prolly things i could sing to make you stay
but i know none of those will prolly get said today

you stare at me with admiration,
a conquering aspect of nature
a mountain top, or the half moon
as it sits in the sky,                                     impossibly far

on evening drives, we listen to music
i turn the volume **** all the way up, and
you stare, as if you've never
loved so fully, or allowed yourself to exist
with passion

in early mornings, we laugh and we draw
pictures of a life together, small doodles
despite being awake, it's clear
                  we both know it's a dream
  and maybe we both know the dream ends
once we wake up
  and maybe we both know waking up means
more than just our eyes opening
                                                         ­         oh, how we've loved to keep them closed

and now, with eyes fully open and strained
i stare at the half moon,                            seeing you
seeing the empty space beside
i see a byproduct of a conquered love
and i stare, admiring

ive been spinning mysteries and fiction in my mind
from a spool of fabric weaved from an abundance of time
we begin to hit the cabbage and again i can see magic-
it's clear that while i had it, it's become no longer mine

--frantic--

spending my last dime and nickels on wealth never trickled,
this battle never-ending grows clearer, yet still riddled
you may encounter the drug of comfort
                                                        c­onsume it or even pack it
but in a world of no profits, i am the hand behind this racket

im the don, im the boss, the last say and the final face
that you will ever see, and that nobody will ever place
you may dream with Morpheus and live for others to hear it
but i am the father of the sleep, the Hypnos for your spirit
i will claim you with the tides of rest sent by mother
and it will feel no different than the death known by no other
do not mistake our time together for numbing or slumber, for
i am keeping you here, ever awake, yet under my cover

~you are safe here with me~

i admit, my head feeling too heavy
aint prepared but now i feel like im too ready
too steady, can't push me over
bob and weave and dip, wait they grabbing holsters?

---****---

it ain't that serious
eatin cereal at 3am, gettin curious
about Buddha and Jesus, imagine they cruise in a beater
with an 8-track playin classics from Bocephus

world leaders taking pics with the people, is that
a green screen or some hay from a needle?
every open door adds another horror more
hoping *****'s drugs keep me grounded on the floor

pop a little AD for my headache
need a little BB on for my soul's sake
or at least heard, logo on a t-shirt
do i think about the things that i dream for?
well i ask, who's got time?
in between all the *******, tryna make room for a dumb rhyme?
i guess im moving on to the next line
cuz everything might be okay

------------- yeah, right -------------

men with money and power deciding outcomes
and everybody with plans talking about some
sympathy and ignorance, everybody allowed some
i keep my feet planted, aint nothin new to see mouths run

try to read between the lies of the faint lips
overthinkin my demise, i need patience
paying loose change for my ancestral basics, and
now im too numb from the meds for the anxious

see, the thoughts in my head too loud
so i need something light just to hold me down
but i hear there's some of that goin round
everybody listenin for the same sounds

The sunrise is often blamed
For the crushing of fairy tales
For returning the dooming chasm
Fearfully known as “reality”

When that grimy light appears
The queens and kings retreat to their storybooks
The magical creatures return to their hobbit holes

As the party goers exit their fantasies
The lights blind them to their bliss
All of a sudden, nothing real ceases to exist
They bump shoulders with dread as they head home

There are some for whom the sunset
Is bittersweet, like seeing an old flame
At a coffee shop with their new fairytale,
Gently admiring what is just out of grasp

It may be that early morning work shift,
Which they were forced to transfer to,
Forcing them to leave the party early
So they fall asleep to daylight’s lullaby

But when that devious alarm goes off
It’s time to return to the coffee shop
A different form of the sun, within reach
Is always there to greet half-opened eyes

As we sit, facing each other over steam
I only think of how I’ve waited for this moment

How the sunrise, for so long, was only painful
How even now, I’m not sure if the fairy tales
Have left me just yet