I've had it! I told myself, "It's been five days and his lights still keep me awake!" My neighbor John, -whom I by the way have had a few issues with in the past-, would not turn off the lights in his living room, which I would not have a problem with, if it weren't for his living room window being directly across my room.
Every night he stands by his window facing my room, he moves from time to time, but it seems though he prefers to stand there and watch. I wake up, and he still stands there, I would reply or scream at him, but I'm not sure he could hear me, plus I'm not sure he can see me, since the curtains in my house are always closed, still, the light from his house reflects onto my bedroom.
I go to work, and he's standing there, at night when I get ready for bed, he stares, and I know because I can see his shadow simply creeping, yet I can't help but feel pity; you see, John's girlfriend left him two months ago and John became heart broken, refusing to come out of his house. I would usually see him watering his peach tree, or working on his jeep, but for the past five days John hasn't stepped outside, nor has he moved from his **** window while I'm there.
It's been enough days and I've had it, I walked to John's house and slammed on his door, but no reply. I knew he was in there, I'd just seen him through my living room window. "You better open this door John!", I said banging against the front door; still there was no sound. "I will break this door open if you don't answer!", I turned the doorknob; but it wasn't locked. I simply stepped in ready to give John a piece of my mind; but I was five days too late. John was gone, except for his body still hanging from the ceiling...

Will you remember my name?
When the voice on the intercom says it along with an obituary.
When the sound of my name during class gets called but the entire classroom sits in silence.
Will you remember my face?
When I held the door for you but never received recognition;
when I saw you on the hallway and waved hello but you simply stared and passed me by.
Will you remember my voice?
When I got scolded for talking trying to get your attention.
When I got sent to the hall for being childish trying to make you laugh.
Will you remember my eyes?
The eyes you always seemed to catch glaring at you;
the same eyes that shed a tear when you screamed to leave you alone.
Will you remember me?
Will you remember laughing and telling your friends of the weird kid who thought he had a chance.
Will you remember the weird kid that was there when you stumbled crossing the street?
Will you remember being pushed and the abrupt break of four wheels:
Will you remember the crimson on your clothes when you turned around,
and also...
Did you remember to pick up my letter from the ground?

Lacrimosa have mercy on me,
a kiss on my cheek is my only desire,
oh conspirator cease torturing me.
inside my heart you're stirring a fire.

Lacrimosa bring with you winter rains.
I surrender my silvery heart to your claim,
will you heed my whispers, oh merciless dame?
and with forceful hand erase her name.

Lacrimosa you've made me weak yet strong,
I am but salt in your ocean of fear.
I beg you to mercy this servant for his wrong,
and from my eyes you'll drop a single tear.

How can you love me when you don't know me?
I stopped.
How can I love you if I don't know you?
But I do, I know all I should know about you.
I know you have the most gorgeous hazel eyes I've ever seen.
I know your brown hair shines brighter against the sun.
I know you stop and gaze at the distance when you can't stop thinking about your future.
I know your favorite color by the shade of blue your shirts always have.
I also know you don't love me back.
I know you hate when my dirt colored eyes stare at you like an idiot.
I know you hate the way the curls in my hair cover my forehead.
I know you hate that I think you are my future.
and I know you couldn't care less that my favorite color has changed to blue.
But I never asked you to love me back;
I never asked for a reply,
I said I love you without proof.
But why should I need any?
Just like a blind man crosses the street, hoping nothing will turn him from his path.
I opened my heart to the gun you held in your hand;
hoping you wouldn't pull the trigger,
I don't care where you came from,
I couldn't care what others think.
I want you for who you are,
not for your body but for your heart.
Let me love you, how can that hurt you,
Let you be the air my lungs want to breathe;
be the inspiration for the beauty of what's life.
I'm not asking you to love me,
so why are you trying to reject me?
I don't ask you to be mine,
you already are in my dreams either way.
All I ask is when I'm quiet, don't think I'm lonely or I'm crying,
I'm simply dreaming I'm holding your hand.

I awoke, but not as usual, I opened my eyes, but I wasn't facing my bedroom wall, I wasn't under the comfort of my blankets, I was not on my bed. I was laying on my bedroom floor; I was restless. I must've slept all night long, but my body didn't feel like it had any fresh energy, I could feel an intense pain in my stomach, as if someone had poured acid down my throat. I sat up, I was wearing only my underwear, like usual; but I had blood all over my chest. I looked to my left, and on the floor sat the bottle of pills I hid behind my computer, completely empty.
I heard knocks on the door, it was my mom's voice telling me it was past 12, when was I going to get up. She'd walk in and see me covered like this, she'd think something's wrong with me, she would finally want to take me to a psychologist. But I couldn't let her see me like this, I forced my body up against my aching stomach, "I'm awake", I yelled, but she kept on knocking, I could hear her getting the spare key from under the rug, she began unlocking the door. I had to do something before she saw me, I reached for the dead bolt knowing she didn't have a key for that one, but it was too late, she walked in.
"I can explain" I said, I began talking but her eyes never stopped to meet mine, she stared directly at the empty bottle of pills on the floor; the floor, was covered in blood. She screamed when she realized my bed was empty, music played from my phone, -I hadn't heard it until this moment-, almost as a perfect background. I kept talking to her but she wouldn't hear me, "Mom I'm sorry, please stop ignoring me", but she wouldn't even look at me, she opened my closet door, and stared at something I couldn't see, she fell to her knees and began wailing. I walked towards my closet and found, myself.
"But how?" I yelled, I'm right here, I could see my body, covered in blood, I laid there with a tie around my neck, my mouth covered in saliva; "Momma I'm right here momma!!!".
But she never turned around, I tried hugging her, but my arms just ran through her. I couldn't even remember what made me do it, I was sad, but I didn't know why. I had tried it before, but I would always end up chickening out, what must've been hurtful enough to make me do it; why would I do it! She began calling 911... she just sat there, -it felt as if time stopped for me-. The ambulance arrived, I tried telling the paramedics I was right here: Maybe they could hear me, maybe someone would tell me this was just a prank, maybe I'd wake up staring at my bedroom wall; but no matter how many times I closed and open my eyes, it was still the same sad scene.
They picked the body up and put it on a stretcher, the medic checked for vitals, but he just stared at my mother's eyes, "I'm sorry", he said. They walked out of my room, and my mom followed them holding... holding MY hand, I couldn't deny it any longer, the person going into that ambulance was me. I screamed and I hollered, but they never returned, "I did it", I thought. I stood there all alone, crying. Suddenly a dark figure stood on the doorway, she raised her long thin fingers, extending her bony palm towards me; I held it,
I was no longer.

I kept the candy wrapper,
the one you said to throw away.
I kept the notes you taped in them,
because between me and you...
I still love you.

I held the notes,
as you once held my hands.
I kept the why’s, you took the reasons;
because I promised to never leave you,
Even when you said I wasn’t.

I ate the candy, I hope you know.
You said you knew they were my favorite,
and from then on, they were.
I’m allergic to peanut butter,
so I can never eat any again,
maybe I should put some on your lips…