Shes gone i think, The girl who used to be energetic and fun. She used to crave adventure but now shes always on the run.
The girl who dreamed, who believed in magic and happily ever after. Now she doesn’t dare try because it all ends in disaster.
The girl who was creative and not afraid to dance. Now cant bring herself to try to take a chance.
The girl who was strong and had her own way of being, now walking on eggshells forever retreating.
Heartbreak has left her in pieces barely holding it all together. Really not sure another blow she can weather.
Disappointed and disillusioned seeing the shadows and feeling the pain. Used to look for rainbows but now theres only rain.
Hope is fading and i feel so lost……
in the consequences of choices made when i didn’t know the cost.
Shes screaming inside me to not let go, but how much longer i can hold onto her i just dont know.

My heart beating so fast i am aching inside. Wanting to stand firm waring with wanting to hide.
Your angry and aggressive and feeling trapped. Your words and attitude hit me like I’ve been slapped.
I take a deep breath trying to stay calm
I set up boundaries to protect myself from harm.
I try to speak calmly stay neutral when i convey
Certain things when we communicate are not ok.
You don’t have to change or feel differently
But when those things happen it wont involve me.
I am learning how to stand up how to stand strong.
How to convey a problem without telling you your all wrong.
I don’t desire to control you, change you, or tell you what to do.
I cannot dictate what you feel and believe is true.
But i am also done hiding, I’m done buffering, or giving in. I wont make peace at my own peace’s expense again.
I wont participate in a conversation or action that feels unsafe or goes against what i believe!
I am no longer willing to participate in the chaos that makes my soul grieve