why do we dream?
why do we miss people?
why this
why that
just...
why.

the one that breaks you most
doesn't always have the scissors,
but the glue.

I’m never kidding,
When I say I need humbling.
Life goes too good for too long,
I get too popular winning at too much,
That I forget what it feels like to lose out,
And I risk everything.
It’s so silly,
Complaining about succeeding,
But sometimes I miss the days I wasn’t on the radar yet.
Because now that I have so much,
My vision is fogged by greed,
I forget how to treat the people that brought me here.
I never learn,
Until I lay askew and burnt,
When my luck runs out.

It’s not magic.

my friends come to me for advice,
come to me to vent, help with their problems.
but sometimes I feel like I'm the one who needs my advice most.

it's a teachers job to make sure their students are okay,
but the students never check on the teacher.

I wish I could go back.
I wish I could go back and ask you why.
I wish I could go back and have one more conversation,
About why you just stopped.
Stopped.
Was I being myself too much?
Was I not pretty enough? Not popular?
Too loud?
Loud.
I used to be loud.
I used to enjoy talking to you.
You made me feel like I could open up.
Open.
I can't do that anymore.
I can't completely let my guard down,
In case they're like you.
You like hearing "like you," don't you?
Like being liked? I can tell.
I did too.
You took away my trust, but still;
I wish I could go back to you.

you only ever call --
when she doesn't answer
to your pleas.
i pick up anyway,
just to hear
a voice --
one that won't
choose me.

in dutch "trap" means "stairs"
they say
stairs stand for growth

maybe a trap does too
so
what are you going to do?

The version of me you never met
Was the best secret that I ever kept

False smiles and a witty joke
You'll never see past the positivity cloak

Why would I tell you I'm not fine
When you don't let me in your mind

Hair up and makeup done
You'll never see me in the evening sun

Meals prepped, trash stashed away
You hear only what I want to say

Even this account is best kept private
If you knew my truth, you'd never survive it