in dutch "trap" means "stairs"
they say
stairs stand for growth

maybe a trap does too
so
what are you going to do?

The version of me you never met
Was the best secret that I ever kept

False smiles and a witty joke
You'll never see past the positivity cloak

Why would I tell you I'm not fine
When you don't let me in your mind

Hair up and makeup done
You'll never see me in the evening sun

Meals prepped, trash stashed away
You hear only what I want to say

Even this account is best kept private
If you knew my truth, you'd never survive it

I can feel you when I speak,
see your face in every wall—
like I know you’re there,
even when you’re not,
as the one I dream of.

Powder rooms with a flower stall,
you’re inside my head,
dancing back and forth.
Were you always here,
and only ever lost,
as the one I dream of?

Lover, no—
I can’t pretend
I’ve ever seen this horizon blue.
My heart tastes your scent,
feels the color of you,
in this dream
where you love me too.

i saw a girl who was hurting
he saw a girl who was crazy

I think you think i hate you
i don't hate you
I could never hate the love of my life
even if we dont talk anymore
i still love my pretty boy
who likes powder blue
and plays gutair

I miss you, C  
please come back to me

I threw my body
into you--

heart and soul
too

But you were someone
else's

gift

love,
just not mine

she won't stop,
onto the next person
only seconds
after the last.

"it's the chase, isn't it?"
i asked her
on one
soft,
slow,
boring
morning --
where her reply was quick
and short.

"i don't date."

it was the
thrill,
excitement,
the fun
of it all.

with each switch,
she left someone
broken
and hurt
more than what they
already were.

dreams,
let them float
to you.

don't try
to make them
into something
you wish
to dream about.

just let
the universe
decide.