I stand in the hallway
just past sorrows door
I look over my shoulder disbelievingly
in awe of my own escape
that came upon me suddenly
One moment I was a ball of tears and single-minded self-pity
and in but a blink I am here now
something less than whole
but more than the empty vessel I once was
Now, forward

I walk in places closer to the edge than the center
and I see beyond into places no one has ever told me of
Do you lie awake at night and see behind your eyes
the glimpses of dreams you have not yet had?
I lie awake and see nightmares alongside new beginnings
and tears in the seams of my past
I have not held flesh in the same regard as I have held
the intangible
but I have seen the stars even as they have turned away from my glare
and I have seen fortune in the graves of lesser men
with hollow eyes and empty heads
I go beyond the edge
to seek, and to find; or to die.

Your paper smiles
drawn on with red and black and pink
do not lift your eyes or bare your teeth
Colorful; insecure, hidden
Where are your claws?
those that you flash to the sky and the dirt
dig into the earth
and uncover nothing
Where are your wings?
those wings without feathers, that do not touch the clouds
blackened as they graze the ground
and are useless but for show
Where is your voice?
those cries you silence, those screams you shush
broken and brittle and naked, exposed and bleeding
soundless

Throbbing veins
A fever brings unrest to my body
and desperation to my lungs
I cannot breathe; my great fear
And when I speak, my panic is mistaken for anger
And so I am away; now she takes my place
My emotions ebb, becoming her dispassion
and I am she
My lungs expand
But these are not my lungs
and this is not my name
I have no physical body of my own; only this, my sister-self
and a thriving consciousness
an infection in its own right
and a chill stillness within me
that marks me as less than human

There is a silence that hovers, lingers
it lurks in the ringing of my ears;
the violence of passivity
the broken remains of a living breath
crawl along the forest floor like a starved leech;
latching onto memories and learned behaviors
a puppeteered husk among the awake
trying to pretend that it's still alive
although it lacks the pulse to prove it
There is a sound that breaks, cuts
it hides in the crevice of my conscious mind;
the last beat of my own heart
although my lungs still breathe and my legs still walk
and my eyes still seek
for they have yet to find meaning in this charade
when behind them lies my brain
and ahead of my path, the water is still

Written By Athena D. Bennett

This darkest night, she did go
Unto her love; moonlight, rain
Hidden warmth will melt the snow
Tomorrow, she will feel again
The branches of a pine bent down
The leaves white and gray with rot
Frostbitten, the birth of decay
Showing her all that she is not;
Begging her to stay
This is not goodbye; Hello
But now she leaves, and so you go
In the shadows of your light
She'll watch you grow
Learning and keeping to heart
All the words you didn't say and didn't know

If you do not love the way I talk
I will talk to the trees and stars
If you do not love the way in which I walk
I will walk by myself, but never alone;
My goddess is with me
If you do not love the way I see
I will watch the waters without you
If you do not love the way I am free
I will be free without you
If you do not love the way that I feel
I will still feel without you
If you do not love the way that I dance
I will dance with the waves I tread
If you do not love my feverish thoughts
I will think alone in my bed
If you do not love me
I will love myself instead