clothes thrown into a heap
sitting on the bag to drag the zipper around
that midnight excitement
like a child on christmas
phone ringing
friends asking if they need this and that

wednesday night

the adventure begins

so i'll sit and watch
as you stay with someone else
someone you don't even want

and all that time you wasted
i spent wanting you

and as we ran through the shallows
i found myself smiling
the water lapping my ankles
as i watched your blonde hair fly like a sail
the sun glinting in your eyes
the promise of summer around the corner
i missed you

“Be yourself,”
But then they tell me to change.
“Be unique,”
But then they frown down on all my differences.
“Don’t conform,”
But then they force me to follow their standards.
“Always love yourself,”
But then they call me narcissist and arrogant.
“Be kind,”
But then they tell me to stop being fake.
“Just relax,”
But then they call me lazy.
“Work harder,”
But then they call me too uptight.
“Money can’t buy happiness,”
But then they laugh at me for not being rich.
“Weight doesn’t matter,”
But then they tell me I’m not skinny enough.
“Enjoy being young while you can,”
But then they tell me to grow up.
“It’s okay to be sad,”
But then they tell me other people have it worse.
“Do what you love,”
But then they tell me I’ll never be successful.
“You’ll be okay,”
But then they leave me for someone else.
“It will get better,”
But then they tell me that I’m being overdramatic.
“Be yourself,”
But I no longer know who that is.

Tell me
What’s your endgame plan?
You snap your fingers
And I melt in your hand
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
I wish I
Could rescue us