I'm thinking of writing you a letter
One wordy, thorough, and long
I'll write down every thought
Every poem, pleasure, song.

It would take days to write
Precious ticks of the time
Still no hours could amount
To the pain within each rhyme

So many words I wish to finish
I'm filled with weeping wounds
Tears that crept from my crys
Dreams ridiculously ruined

When my hands start aching
And the paper has been soaked through
I'll fold up my whole heart
And ill sign it addressed to you

I'll pay that single cent
For a stamp in the corner
And I'll sign my name in black
Like a dedicated mourner

For the next millenia I'll wait
For a reply that'll never come
There's no return on that letter
Since I'm so desperate to be done

The sky is now dark
And I'm left with nothing to do
Every thought has been consumed
By some sort of thought of you

I miss the sound of your voice
Your laugh and your rambles
I'll never hear those two again
That revelation leaves me in shambles

I remember calling your name
When I was driving about
I sent pictures of the sky
Pictures with my tongue sticking out

I remember staying up too late
So I could tell you all my wonders
And you'd listen to every one
Now my thoughts can only thunder

You were a different kind of feeling
A pleasant nausea in my core
The feeling of being yearned
Was one I'd never felt before

So many words that made me melt
Like 'please don't stop talking'
'Oh God you're so perfect'
And 'you're everything I've been wanting'

So at the end of the week
When it's dark late and slow
Is when you're holding me hostage
When I just can't let go

Who do I plan on calling
When the thunder is brawling
When the lightning is hauling
And my tears won't stop falling?

Who do I plan on telling
When I just can't stop laughing
When the story is worth clearing
And it's something you'd love hearing?

Who do I plan on discussing
When all my blood is rushing
When my face is red and blushing
And youve left me warm and flushing?

Who do I plan on longing
When I lack all belonging
When I want to feel that bonding
And your face is just too haunting?

Who do I plan on sharing
When the songs deserve comparing
When my love is feeling daring
And your laugh is brightly flaring?

Who do I plan on thinking about
If you're all I think about?

Please break my heart
So I don't have to break yours
I'd rather feel all that pain
Than be the one to make you endure

Please break my heart
So I can leave yours intact
I'd rather be haunted
Than have to hear you react

Please break my heart
So I can live with my decision
I'd rather lose all my tears
Than have tears disrupt your vision

Please break my heart
So I'm not the one serving time
Id rather feel completely caged
Than be the one to commit this crime

Please break my heart
So I can make sure you're OK
I'd rather lose my voice
Than listen to all you might say

This request might seem odd
I ask for you to do the downing
But if we're both stuck in this storm together
I'd rather be the one drowning

So much sadness I am feeling
Yet it can't seem to fall
I start feeling little
And then nothing at all

My heart is afraid
Of an inconsolable strain
And he knows that's what I need
But he can only know the pain

The tears can't find a path
To stream down my face
A throb behind my eyes
That can never escape

I twist and I turn
I claw at my head
I'm stuck in a cage
While I lie down in bed

I guess I'm to blame
I resisted for so long
I thought I was brave
I'm thinking that I'm wrong

So now I don't await my collapse
I don't await that burst
Because my heart he has decided
To block out all that hurt

I feel like taking you somewhere
Far away from my home
Somewhere I can breath
Where we can be alone

I'll open up my heart
And let you look inside
Fully open to your gaze
And all that I hide

You'll laugh and i'll melt
The way I tend to be
When you're talking out loud
When you're talking of me

There might be a breeze
Or some sun in your hair
You'll apologize for something
And ill say i don't care

Because how could I care
When I'm sitting here with you
When there's so much to touch
So much we could do

I hope the wind will sting my eyes
So you'll wipe away my tears
I hope you'll open your heart too
So I can pick away your fears

I feel like taking you somewhere
Where we can be alone
Somewhere I can breath
A place that feels like home

I hold onto words
As if they're the air I breath
And I decipher each one
So that I'll know what they mean

Their voices are like proof
That I can do more than just admire
Their texts are like evidence
That I can be ones desire

I tell myself I'm something
Though I believe it's dishonest
If the walls could talk my full length mirror
Could love me with true promise

I measure my worth
Through numbers and facts
My feelings they grow dusty
My tears shoved under mats

I let people with no faces
Sing my praises loud
Since I'm not sure who I'll be
Or who I am right now

The more pain I feel
The greater I've achieved
The sting means it's working
A sign that I'll succeed