Now every night starts the same;
Go to bed and as if by mistake,
Body failing to obey, so tame,
ceasing the fight to stay awake.
FOCUS
My body is long gone by now
And somehow i´m still awake;
For my consciousness refuses to bow
Welcoming my own sorrow and ache.
FOCUS
Feeling numb with anticipation
Of losing control of ones mind;
To bring life to such horrid imagination;
was there nothing else to find?
FOCUS
I feel it´s weight upon my chest
And someone´s voice, can´t recognize;
The need to move so i can rest,
that even a blink would be a prize.
FOCUS

I didn’t remember you slept here last night
I got up and you were there as no invite
was needed
You barged into my dreams and ahead  was blur
I just needed a cup of coffee and there you were
again
As high as the trees and with your long hair
I could swear to myself you really weren’t there
You and your book always so focused in the higher branches
You were the one up there and I got the scratches
I never really knew why you needed that tree to read you book
I kept waiting and calling
not worth of even a look
you used to live here
You lived
and i woke up .

BROKEN ABRACADABRA

My uncle shimmers
as he walks

as if the sun has got him
and shakes him

until he walks
like waves.

His gait all
heat haze.

He's a walking
reflection

as if the air
were water.

He looks like
he's a dream

made of summer

but he is the real thing
a solid Uncle Michael.

I expect his voice
to waver with the heat

but his words
stay steady

whittled out of love
like wood.

I am up a tree.

He can't see me.

The branch below me has sn-
-apped

and I am wondering like a cat
how in hell I am

going to get down.

Up here in the air
the farm is the map

of itself.

I share a branch with a bird
and a small cloud.

Uncle goes on looking for me
his voice searching the everywhere

but I am a nowhere.

His voice trying to pull me
out of thin air

like a magician would
but it's not good.

I am half sky half tree half child
...do the maths.

I feel like a white rabbit
lost inside a top hat.

He died one sunny Sunday
******* a sweet in the blue van.

I still see him
walking out of the sun

his body shivering
with the heat

as if he is a dream
calling my name

like an abracadabra.

I sit in the silence
in the middle of my sky

lost in that forever
summer

wondering how to get back
down on solid ground

calling his name
like a broken magic spell

always trying to find him
even though I can't

...find my self.

*

Pitching in with great gusto to bring in the hay I sliced through my brother Brian's earlobe with the pitchfork...I was terrified....scampered and hid up "my tree' for the rest of the day....not even Mikey was able to find me stuck up there in the sky.