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 4d Nobody
Liana
****
If when I hurt myself
I'm hurting the younger version of me too
When my father gets hurt by me
I must be hurting the little boy playing in the grass
Having hobbies that his parents said were a faze
And who never thought that the person he is now
Would be the person he was going to be

When he says I'm the reason he wants to die
Does that mean I'm killing that innocent child too?


Guilt consumes me
I hate my mind
Why does that have to be on me (wrote this in history class)
 4d Nobody
Vesper
I wake up crying
Dying inside
Tell my parents that i'm ok
But i'm really not
And I hate it when they push further
Because they know that I am lying
But I need them to push me to keep me alive
And I hate the pain of the knife against my skin
But I love the punishment for my sins
I don't think that I can do this anymore
*It hurts too much to try
 5d Nobody
p1st0l
Blood on my hands and the bathroom floor
When will this stop? I wonder as it slowly pours
The blood comes from the cuts on my arm
How did I get here? What have I done?
This is about self harm
 6d Nobody
megan
september 14, 2009
10:13 pm
why is the garage door shut? i cant get in
your phone must be dead my messages wont go through

september 14, 2009
10:15 pm
i can hear the car running in the garage oh god oh god i called an ambulance butm my fingers arree shakingi you have to be okay dont

september 15, 2009
11:27 am
i opened the garage and you were sitting there with a tube running into the drivers seat and why did you ******* do this you cant you wouldnt you shouldnt this isnt real none of this is real

september 17, 2009
3:04 am
babe, i miss you
i miss you so much i cant take it

september 17, 2009
3:07 am
they havent shut down everything yet its only been three days
how has it only been three days

september 19, 2009
11:17 pm
your funeral was today (i didn’t cry)

september 29, 2009
12:23 pm
did it hurt? i need to know if i should join you but i dont want it to hurt because im scared, im too scared
im scared of the fact that ill never see you smile again
i love you. did i tell you that enough? i dont think i did

october 17, 2009
1:39 am
YOU SELFISH ******* *******, ITS BEEN A MONTH AND IM STILL HERE AND YOU STILL ARENT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
I FOUND YOU, YOU ******* *******. SITTING IN THE CAR IN THE GARAGE WITH THE ENGINE RUNNING. DID YOU WANT ME TO SEE YOU LIKE THAT BECUASE ILL NEVER FORGET IT ,,,,,
mayvbe ive benee drinnking a litlter morre than mnusula but yoi shouldve let me comem with hoyu becaussee youre my hnhome and evertyone think sims  insanen i just miss you msoo much comee hooome to mew

october 31, 2009
7:01 pm
its halloween and im going alone this year
why do i have to go alone

november 24, 2009
2:24 am
i had a dream that you were making me dinner and you gave me a spoonful of something tomato-y and we were laughing and dancing in the kitchen and you kissed me but your lips dissolved into paper and your skin slid off into a puddle on the floors and the walls collapsed around me but i could still hear your voice telling me everything was okay
when i woke up my lips tasted like tears and i couldnt breathe

december 2, 2009
3:36 am
you cant be dead on my birthday
last year we had a picnic in the park and drank macchiatos and you told me a story about the magician you had at your birthday party when you were seven and barely tall enough to see over the table he was doing tricks on
you cant be dead on my birthday you cant

december 24, 2009
10:17 pm
christmas eve was ****** without you
i hope its better wherever you are

december 25, 2009
9:03 pm
christmas day was also ****** without you
how do i get rid of this ******* headache

january 3, 2010
4:19 am
how do i do anything when everything we did together is laced with arsenic?
******* for taking away my favorite places
******* for taking away my favorite bands
******* for taking away everything

january 10, 2010
8:56 am
your pillow doesnt smell like you anymore

january 17, 2010
5:49 pm
this is so pathetic im still sending you messages its been months
my eyes should be dry by now

january 22, 2010
7:08 am
did you know that your mom called me crying yesterday because she found your old baseball trophy in the attic and we cried over the phone together and its the closest ive felt to you in ages and ages but it slipped away through my fingers faster than quicksand

january 25, 2010
3:45 pm
i almost took a whole bottle of pills and slit my wrists last night but you were standing above me whispering to me and i couldnt do that to you even though you did it to me first

february 4, 2010
1:01 am
was this my fault? did i do this to you? i warned you that i was broken but you pieced me back together with strands of moonlight and i wish i wouldve seen how bad you were hurting before you stepped off the edge

february 6, 2010
6:36 pm
i hate you

february 7, 2010
4:49 am
i could never hate you
you know that
my head is pounding

february 27, 2010
12:32 am
happy anniversary sweetheart
*message failed to send
recipient account terminated
dog leashed, tied onto a pitch-black pole
woven to the pillar, like you're woven to my soul

every thought about you pours acid in my heart
and i cough out the rest like blood
one day i'm scavenging for water, a paranoid dart
the next i'm drowning in a hot-pink flood

i saw you in the window of that small local store
after becoming a regular, the door wouldn't open anymore
but you looked so pretty when you were so far away
and for some reason i come back every day

but it was so good at first
you made me finally believe
that someone out there could love someone like me

and i told you what i did wrong
and you said you didn't care
but i must've mistaken that love was in the air

i try to talk to you
i try to understand
but every word i say to you
you repeat back, just bland

and you blame it on me?
you say i'm the confusing one
so i chase and chase, give and give
you never let me take some

it's my mistake i put love first
my mistake i wasn't rational
my mistake that when you said you liked me
i somehow didn't think it was casual

i'm a dog waiting at your door
saliva puddle on your wooden floor
i wait for you to come back
like i'm tied to a pole, pitch-black

my hunger has been satiated now
i open my eyes for the sixth time
this has gone much longer than i can allow
you're making me run out of rhyme
i guess it was my mistake that even then, even now
i somehow thought you would be mine.
the world is so big so big so big. i need to feel a meaning and productiveness in my life. (S.P.)
 6d Nobody
Vesper
I really loved you that time.
I really did.
And I thought you loved me back.
But then you ran off with him,
Just like all the other ones will
 6d Nobody
Vesper
they say that it gets worse before it gets better-
-and now i'm scared
because if that was bad
what could worse mean for me
 6d Nobody
1DNA
Hello fam!
I'll be posting lesser poems,
'cause I'll have lesser time.
But, I'll keep in touch!
Until then,
Goodbye!
Summer breaks over,
Schools startin tomorrow.
The beginning of yet
Another sorrow :(

Goodbye , for now,  poetry n fam! I wont be posting very regularly from now, but I'll do my best to keep in touch! Thank you so much for this wonderful May! Bye-bye! Signing off, 1DNA
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