you want to know what it's like inside my brain?
it's like burning in hell but with 10x the pain.
it's like swimming in a pool with nowhere to breathe
it's like all the cuts on my arm,
covered by a sleeve.
it's like being trapped in a closet
with no way out
it's like being deathly thirsty
but you're stuck in a drought.
it's like being in an escape room
with a forever stuck lock
it's like sitting in an empty room
waiting for a knock.
now you know what it's like inside my head
so now you know why i want to be dead~

My parents say theyre supportive
Call me he when im aroumd
But the second you think i cant hear
The second i leave the room
They say.
"SHE'S being weird today."
"I think SHE'S faking it."
"SHE isnt a boy."
"It's just a phase. SHE'LL grow out of it."
They go out of their way to call me she
Not he
Maybe
Just maybe
They might hate me

Coffee
Never really helped me
Stay awake
Because I never really wanted to be
Concious
So coffee
Just makes it worse

Dont call me lazy
When I am sick
There's a difference between those 2
I'm depressed
Not lazy
I'm anxious
Not lazy
I'm burnt out
Not lazy
I have an eating disorder
I'm not lazy
I'm tired
Not lazy
I'm so done with this
Not lazy
I'm struggling
Not lazy
I'm sad
Not lazy
I'm nervous
Not lazy
I'm traumatized
Not lazy
I'm. Sick.
Not lazy.