Happy pills
Leave me feeling empty
Numb
And to be honest
Ive stopped taking my meds
Because id rather feel ******
Than feel like styrofoam

Happy pills
Leave me feeling nothing
Like plain yogurt
But ive stopped taking my meds
Because id rather feel like a plant without
W a t e r
Than an unsalted pretzel

Are the pills helping?
Because they are supposed to make me happy
But they somehow make me feel worse...

dance to the song,
you beautiful ballerina
we are all watching
don't mess up

move your feet,
you beautiful ballerina
or we will attach the strings
to your useless little limbs... again

paint a smile on your face,
you ugly ballerina
if you smiled more
more people will like you

why did you eat that,
you fat ballerina?
you'll just gain more weight
you wont fit into your size -5 dress

you made a mistake,
you useless ballerina
maybe you should just go
nobody even wants to see your show.

Quit hoping for freedom,
You disaster of a ballerina
You are our marionette
We have full control

Stop lying,
You rat of a ballerina
We have never hurt you
We just discipline

Stop being dramatic,
You drama queen of a ballerina
You dance
You don't act

Stop moping,
You hideous ballerina
Just because he doesnt like you anymore
Doesnt mean you have a right to frown

Start smiling,
You sad ballerina
Nobody will like you
If you frown...

you deserve better,
you precious, imperfect, kind, sweet, beautiful, nice, wonderful, friendly, injured, hopeful ballerina.
leave this awful place.
you deserve so much better...

i know that hate never helps
it never helped anyone
only makes things worse or keeps it the same
doesn't change what happened
can't change the past,
saying this is meaningless.
but after all you did to me,
i think i have the right to say this:

i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you.

okay. one more time.
I. HATE. YOU. 😊

The showers after
Always hit different
The skin and cuts sting
Lose my soul
While blood falls down the drain
The next 15 minutes always hit different...
Red liquid flowing and gushing out of my cuts
Cuts

        Cut

                  Cu
                        
                                C

It almost stings
As much as your words
Soap
Wash my mouth with soap
Said too much
Told you too much
Said everything wrong
I can't do anything right
Rub salt to my wounds
Please

Slice
Slice
Slice
I told myself i wasnt addicted
Cut
Cut
Cut
I was doing so well
Scrape
Scrape
Scrape
Got in a fight with my friend
Bleed
Bleed
Bleed
Why do I do this to myself...

Blood bleeds through my jeans
Red blotches, displaying my shame
My pain
Yet they still believe me when i say im ok

I've decided
That I will always look up
Because people stare down at their feet all time
And they don't get to see the trees, the leaves, and the sky
And the first time I tried it out
It left me with no doubt
Because I saw an apple tree
The birds soaring
The squirrels in all of their stress
The stars
And it made wonder
Why I ever looked down
When it was so easy to look up
And see the beauties of the world