The trick is finding your good name
Inside a pool of doubt and blame

Man said it's the devil to blame.
The devil said is it me again.
Scripture says man willfully sins.
But the truth of the matter.
Is man needs someone to blame.

Love wrote the highs, loss read the byes.
Now silence pens the chapters where your voice once replied.

No reaction to action
Left baffled by the way you were acting
From lovers to strangers, now barely reacting
Love you forever to cold replies — no reenactment
Yelling instead of talking, now silence is our last interaction

I misheard your emotions, I misheard your needs,
I misheard my own heart, now regret counts the beats.
I misheard your plans and acted like I didn’t care,
Now that I’m without you, your absence is all I hear.

You ran to the door like you always did,
no idea what I’d walked out from.
Maybe you waited the nights I was gone —
still hopeful, still sure I’d come.

We played like nothing else mattered at all,
you stayed by the door when I’d leave.
You knew I’d return like I always had —
one of the things I silently grieve.

I don’t know if you’d still know my face,
or if time’s erased what we knew.
Would you still light up if I walked in,
or just stare at me like I’m someone new?

They took you like I never mattered,
like love could just be split in two.
I didn’t leave because I stopped loving —
if it wasn’t for them, I’d still be with you.

I woke up wired, heart beat fast,
told myself this time’s the last.
Lines on the sink, shame in my head,
texted some lies, stayed in bed.

The crash is gone but not the mess,
some days I still can’t catch my breath.
I stay away from what the old me craves,
and that part is still digging its own grave.

There were nights I almost called it quits —
and if the ceiling of my old apartment was strong enough,
I wouldn’t be writing this.