I don't want the D
but I need the D
I think
it's big and scary and hard
It's just there, my fingers brushing over it
I can't seem to make myself..
it's just the D
but it makes love turn into loveD
I'm afraid it's past tense now

I made it that far
did not reach out
stretching further all the time
I'm getting better
bit by bit
giving up your drug
hit by hit

Have you taken my robe from the hanger
my lotion from the bedside table
my toothbrush from the cabinet
the owl mug, things that were mine
things that remind you
have you erased me
yet
or do you remember
bodies intertwined
laughter
you sitting across from me in the hospital lobby
my hair in your hands

validation in a right swipe
finding maybes
finger on glass, left left left
I can't find what I'm looking for
because I know right where it is

up there in the dark
every movement is honest
my heart's wide open

I don't know where you are right now
but I can see your face, the way you push your hair back
I love your face
and I don't know
maybe I shouldn't, maybe I should be trying to forget
and I will later today
try I mean
and try to forget that tonight I should be wrapped in your arms, in your bed
but right now I'm thinking of your face and how lovely you are

I just realized
I can't remember the sound
of your ******