Hands around her throat
I straddle while I choke
Devour all she wrote
On murders which I'll quote
All across her body

Bite until she bleeds
Drink everything she seethes
Slap flesh all red and raw
Hair torn inside a fist
With ripples of pleasure

Depths of depravity, you can not take from me
You can not take it nor can you fake it
**** around or get *****, kid.
Such a dog to me, to pet to play;
A kitten fed on ecstasy
Of chemical bliss contracting touch, you see.
Rush through me and take everything
But in these depths of sweet depravity,
We shall be as one.

Arms soaked in bleach
Another lost soldier at the beach
Is wasting away, to decay, and decry the war
We're fighting against time,
And the march of progress flies
In the face of every word they've ever said
We all just want to survive, maybe get a little high,
Invest in a family, a home, and clear mind
But the pigs break our shins,
To watch us crawl
The CEO breaks our backs,
For a few more fat stacks
And our mental health comes tumbling after

I want to ask the things that hurt but I don't want to pain you
I want to show you death, inert, but I couldn't restrain you
I want to give you what your worth, but I don't want to pay you
I wanna watch you swallow girth, fall through a hollow earth, catch cholera from dearth like a twisted ****** birth
and
Watch as I emerge, singing songs I call a dirge, where two or three of us converge, like sprouts of Allegheny spurge that there's no pesticide to purge and it is just a ****** urge that I can't seem to ******* scourge, something known to re-emerge to take my lungs and then submerge
Until
Until the blackness comes
and all is undone.

Too many words, too many doubts
And they keep pouring out my mouth
All I have are the things I say
And these, too, will fade away
Like a sigh on the breeze
Or you screamin' on your knees
The memories aren't to be trusted
They're rusted and falling apart
My heart grows two sizes too big
I kid.
Maybe we are nothing
Already all that we're meant to be
Or maybe we're everything
But just too ******' blind to see
I've been experimenting lately with giving up
But I just can't seem to master the skill
I'm holding onto hell
And I'm loving every second
I feel alive, electric, slidin' through your insides
If this fixation is only in my mind
Then I'll pretend it isn't
And bury alive
All evidence to the contrary
It's a hari-kari type of existence
Pistons churn my stomach to mush
Quicker than butterfly nets capture beauty

Baby watch me, no touch
Ain't got so much to lie
She wants me in four-wheel
With a head like drive

Where you'd go, now no fear
We just ain't got time
Taste and touch my insides
Baby, that ain't no lie

Too weak to speak right
Too much to lie
Double back and get ******
Three holes if got the time

Words don't work
Lick, swallow pride
Following wagging dog now
Tail beside its hind

She ain't all that so tough
She ain't got soul to hide
Daddy dearest beat me
Eat up, watch me die

In hands held aloft
Are placed lives, future lost
To grip tight, knuckles white
The very thing that keeps us weak
This fragile mortality of ours
Has fueled centuries, decades, years
Art, war, ***, and death
And still no answer to the question:
Should I squeeze or let go?

Come on baby, **** in those cheeks
Another rock to smoke, a little more coke to stroke
It ain't over til' it's over and baby it's never over
Addicts addicted to everything addictive
TV, *******, **** and brain
Fast food, slow rides,
We've got an environment to poison
And we don't care, we ain't looking for a cure
Toss ourselves on the fire of apathy
24/7 we're told its ending
So throw a party, throw some oil on the fire
Heed the lies and don't try to change
It's easier to die when you don't put up a fight
It's easier high, when you don't have a life
It's easier to cry, when you disassociate
So let's soak ourselves in our tears,
Have a good cry
And get on with the planetary suicide

These places
Lose faces
And shut down the blinds

These places
Lose faces
And lock and the doors

These floors
Abhor
Any trace of what could have been

These floors
Abhor
Any trace of what might have been

Shut down, find no trace of them.

(**** them) (**** them) (**** them)
Relax
The ending comes slowly

Relax
Don't forget to breathe

Their hands
All on me
Emptying my everything

I am becoming you
My first
The prettiest little corpse

Don't forget to breathe
wait WHAT came first//
\See me. bE mE/

a s
      phy
              xiat
                      ing

She holds
Inside
All your little lies
She holds
Inside
All the sins of mankind
Filthy womb
Inside my mind
Filthy tomb
I can't find
Filthy
My way
Filthy
Out of
Filthy
This place
Help
Suffer
Me
Help
Suffer
Me

The page
Grows longer
Every day
The page
Grows longer
In every way

Don't look
They can't see
Don't look
Or you'll find, see
See?
Seee?
Seeeeeeeeeeeeee?e
e?
eeeeeee?

He comes
Inside of me
He comes
The night filled with ecstasy
Then comes
the death of
M
e

Ripping limbs
All of them
Tearing away


Rend
Love
Tearing a hole
Right through

You don't need to know
None of us needs to know
We're held there with our eyes pried open and forced to watch as the end is televised
                                    and
                                            we beg for more
                                                                           like oil thirsty ******
     we
           alll
                  want
                             blood
                                        we
                                              all
                                                   slow
                                                            down
                                                                       to watch
                                                                                       the
                                                                                                 p
                                                                                                 r
                                                                                                 e
                                                                                                 e
                                                                                                 t
                                                                                                 y
                                                         car
                                                          w
                                                           r
                                                           e
                                                           c
                                                           k

There's a murderer down the block
Oh wait, I guess that's just a cop
Ain't see the difference there, can you?
But I mean, what the **** can we do?
That doesn't get us beat along the head
Another statistic of the dead
Only they don't report those, do they?

Good life
With lies

Children
Mothers
**** them

Steal

Violence and violence
Live in peace
Die in peace

Betrayed
So terribly betrayed

Be kind to children
Be kind to seniors
Take the potion

We are not committing suicide
Revolutionary act
Do not take our death in vain

Death is not a fearful thing
It’s living that’s fearful

Choose my own kind of death
I’m tired
I’m tired of…
Tired of it

So many people’s lives in my hands
Don’t want your life in my hands

Now is the dispensation of judgement
Revolutionary suicide council
Self-destruction
Because I’m a prophet

Died every day to give you peace
Still not had any peace
Still not the kind of peace I wanted to give

Suicide
To have us destroyed
Many will destroy themselves
I’m speaking as a prophet today

The damage will be done
I cannot separate myself from the pain
We’ve walked together too long

I saved them
I saved them
I made my example
I made my expression
I made my manifestation
I’ve been born out of due season
To leave this ****** world

We lay down our lives in protest
We lay down our lives to protest at what’s been done
The criminality of people
The cruelty of people

There’s no point
There’s no point to this
We are born before our time
They won’t accept us
If they come after our children
Then our children will suffer forever

Take ease
Take ease
Take ease
Take ease
Take ease

Sit down
Sit down
Sit down

It’s all over
It’s all over

What a legacy
What a legacy
They invaded our privacy
They invaded our home
They followed us six thousand miles
… the Congressman’s dead

Get us some medication
There’s no convulsions with it
It’s just simple
Get it before it’s too late
Don’t be afraid to die
They’ll torture our children
They’ll torture some of our people
They’ll torture our seniors
We cannot have this

How many are dead
Oh God
Almighty God

It’s too late
It’s too late
They’re all laying out there dead
I didn’t but my people did
They’re my people
They’ve been provoked too much
What’s happened here has been an act of provocation

You don’t know what you’ve done
I’ve tried
You’ve got to move
To get that medication

Everybody was so happy when they stepped through to the other side

It’s hard
It’s hard only at first is it hard
It’s hard only at first
You’re looking at death
Raising up every morning
It’s much more difficult
It’s much more difficult

For God’s sake let’s get on with it
We’ve lived as no other people have lived
We’ve had as much of this world as you’re gonna get
Let’s be done with the agony of it
It’s far
Far harder
To watch you
Every day
Die slowly

You are dying

This is a revolutionary suicide
It is not a self-destructive suicide
I think it’s humane

Somebody relax
Relax
Relax
Die with respect
Die with a degree of dignity
Lay down your life
Don’t lay down with tears and agony
There’s nothing to death
Stop this hysterics
This not the way for people
No way for us to die
We must die with some dignity

Mother, mother, mother, mother, please
Mother please...please...please don’t
Don’t do this
Don’t do this
Put down your life with this child
But don’t do this
Keep...keep your emotions down
If you will be quiet
Be patient
Be patient
Death is…
Dead is a million times preferable to ten more days of this life
Death, death, death is common to people
Quit exciting your children

I have no more words left
Maybe I never did
And every word I've written thusly
Is all equal to ****

I am lost and screaming
Always alone
A helluva catch
That's left to die on the boat

I see no reason
No answers, no friends
No way to keep it civil
And just hold hands in the end

I am a *******
Shaken, not born
A tube TV,
And portable source of dopamine

If I'm crying
You'll never know
I couldn't trust you enough
To let the cracks be shown

I hate reality
Only that ain't true
I love the **** around me
And the flowers in bloom

But I'm in a cave
A closet, a cage
Some place to trap ambition
Where serenity fades

My words are ugly
You think I ain't know?
But they're all I have to love you,
So why not just leave 'em alone

Your beauty hangs rotten like succulent petals that taunt the innocents demise
That's a lie, there ain't no innocence behind my eyes
And baby, I tried, but you got too many faces to hide in high tides
If I could love you any less don't you think I would have?
Don't you think I would've cut this beating heart from my chest and swallow my last breath with a cyanide chase?
These pills I take are laced with regrets that taste like you and leave me black and blue on the inside
All's fair in love and war so I made myself a ***** and fight battles in my core
I've been plucking 'she-loves-me-not' petals from a foxglove that's left me vomiting
I packed a box love so I can consume myself for lunch like the ouroboros eating its own hair
The fare's fair since I got dollar signs for eyes and my lack of spine nets me a discount.
I hope some day I'm credited for your self discovery, it'd be love-a-ly to be recognized as the ******* I've always been
I've slept with sin but her lipstick burns my tongue when we touch, don't even get me started on our *****.
If the world's a stage than I'm a discounted actor still waiting for his big break while tripping over his shoes
One too many tears have been shed for what might've been but we haven't done enough about what is
Can't help but wonder is his kiss tastes like blood or if that's just the poison talking
I'm a walking coffin with ether in his lungs and an ego no halo fits
Better off avoiding the saints since I'm sick of their stories and the gory details of my afterbirth existence bores them
Got two pistons pumping sludge through my brain like novocaine for the thoughts of my own self worth
If anything, I'm said one too many words a thousand times over again and I've been misheard and falsely incriminated for my bad grammar
I stutter and I stammer when I think of you, until I'm nothing more than a broken *******
Guess we're back to the ***** imagery again, not that either of us are surprised
I've always been a bit of a *****, but that was the post you'd chosen to hitch yourself to
Or at least it was once, now its just rotted wood and termites head banging to classic tunes

The flowers in your eyes
Are wilting
Surprise
Who could have seen that coming?
With the poisoned soil you've planted in
Or the venom you watered with

Sever before the rot spreads
Before it's too late for you
And this whole thing becomes your everything
Just like you were to me

I have a tendency of opening my tendons, see
I tend to write til' tensions take intended words and swallow verse
Inside my person I've been riding hearses with infected nurses
Spitting curses at these ******' governmental oversights
And on these nights, when I can write, and swallow frights
I fall in fights and loose my lights and all my rights
Til' try I might, my stomach turning tight, but where does it go from here?
What do you want to hear? Another I love you?
Another I loathe you until' the blood breaks the surface?
I'm a lodestone for your negativity,
A baby Jesus in a burning nativity scene that screams at the seams when reality bends, breaks and shatters
So you can fall back naked on the bed, with a pen in your hand
And suffer for every finger that ran across the barren land of your ignorance.
I'm not a nice a person, but neither are you
And no baby, I ain't attracted to a **** thing about you
But what else is new?

My whole body shivers and shakes
with every word left unspoken.
And I don't know if this fire is because I'm broken,
but I desire the funeral pyre and a 21 gun salute.
It's kinda cute, isn't it?
This pain I put me through;
or maybe it's you?
But should that be subject or object?
I guess the truth is I object the coming car wreck on the horizon.
But I haven't slowed down, so what's that saying now?
I'll only have myself to blame
but it's worth the pain
for even another minute
or a second smile.
I can't help what I feel
or the quantity of it.
I just want you to know that I ******' hate it
and love it.
So when your lips slit my wrists
my last wish is that you dug it.

Sacrifice the unwilling at the foot of your dependence
I'm sick of what I tend to see, all this could end for me
And what would I leave behind?
Besides the pretty corpse and finance woes.
Because my so called legacy seems like **** to me,
I'm not so sure I can keep up with what I want to be,
need to be so much better than myself,
and without some help, how the hell do I get there?
Pen to this page, at least I can sort a bit out
and shout shout ******* shout
without the open mouth....
Memories of misery from the future filter back into my brain
and I can feel all the pain, feel all the pain, feel all the pain feel
all
the
                                                                                                            pain
inside my brain in driving me inside and in ways I can't write I loss sleep at night thinking about a blue face wrapped in ways wrapped in waste wrapped away riiped away riped awy ripppeddddaway...y
                                                no more smiles
                                                      please

Reality slits wrists faster than lovers can kiss
I'm bending over backwards to spray out my last words
Everything I see, reminds me of her but I'm glad I still care
It's better than the reality I'm living, pitch shifting my dreams for another paycheck
I want to run away from my all my responsibilities, out for cigarettes like daddy did.
Sorry kids, I regret to inform you that I'm not bitter or remorseful
Just an *******

Let the dead dance on my grave
and let me join them

For I know which way the wind blows
and all I can do is pray

I'm nothing short of illuminated
in the light from the gallows

Should I hang this day or another
is of no matter worth considering

I've made my bed, slept,
and now I wake broken

My back is bowed, my hands bloodied,
this is the life I've made

I shant take it back for aught
and nothing you do can make me

I’m slicing my arm open to stick these bullets inside
So I’ll have ammunition when I look into your eyes
I need help getting over this hill of my own making
I’m quaking in my boots with every compliment your taking
Inject the ****** in my blood, it’s never never enough
Each smile like an ****** cloud handcuff
My hands and feet are tied together,
So I haven’t been able to weather this chase
My heart’s beating out my chest, losing the race
If I could slip this noose and escape in you
The love in my chest might finally ignite the spark
All that’s needed as the bullets rip me apart.

I want to kiss and take your thigh
Between teeth your flesh I find
And I gaze into your eyes
Just like I stare at your insides
And now religion's hard to find
Show me yours, I'll show you mine
Devour you in time
Every thought that screamed your name sublime
Not another second left to waste
The way I taste your pretty face
And swallow all that's left
I'd follow you until my death
Oh baby, **** me, make me whole.

And you will crawl,
on broken glass, should I ask.
But what does that say?
Is bleeding really how you get your way?

Maybe I'm missing something here
But there ain't all that much to see
So I doubt it.

Hands clawing my throat,
Though there ain't no lies.
Just apathy, dopamine,
and a lack of oxytocin.

We're living circular cycles,
**** near cyclical;
But we're living in a time
That's either linear or spiral.

I know a thing or two about what's eating me,
But I'm a coward, a ******* and a weak poet.
Earn a living with my words, though,
So I'll take what I can get.

I haven't bit the hand that feeds often enough,
Come on baby, you know they like it rough,
They've been ******* us, sure enough.

Now problem number two,
I'll let you doubt which is which,
Had to give you the slip,
Then you pull me right back in.

Flip again and now I'm teleporting in,
Every ******* drop of your roller coaster eyes;
They're eating me alive,
And I'd surmise,
That my stomach can only hold on so long
Before it bursts and I'm hurling up butterflies
Into yellow skies,
My demise was written on your hips.

Finger **** my brain but not with your pain
I got my own and it’s only taken it this long to grow
Accustomed to the ebbs and flows of my daily woes
Black out stress and wake up an egotist that lost his ***** to capitalism’s fist.
**** a society that’s too blind to see the lie it breeds between its blackened teeth.
I’ve been a poet as long as I could know it but no one listened and I couldn’t find an *** to start kissing.
So here I am, watching my career build so I can one day too be a black and blue has been.
I’ve been on a suicide binge once or twice so I can tell you to get high if you’re gripping the knife, even if I’d prefer you wouldn’t but since you’re not gonna listen to me I’ll make my own exit.
Looking at how long it took me to get where I am, it’s a wonder I didn’t stop; but I got so used to tripping up hill, you can find me walking on my hands.
Or walking backwards, walking into walls, walking into you, this reality just ain’t as colorful, sorry, really.
Next time you’re burning a bridge maybe back away instead and see if it rots and festers that way the nerves are dead and dog has a new chew toy.
Or maybe just do whatever the **** is you, none of this ever mattered to begin with.

I'm trying to be a better person
Really, I am
But in a world this diseased
I'm not too sure how one achieves that
With hands washed in blood

I'm willing to ****
I don't use the word ******
Though many would
But a dead fascist
Is just good poetry
A rhyming couplet that tickles
Like an ASMR video of Kalashnikovs

The system is was and always has been ******
Understandable why you'd want it burnt
But the ramifications are too numerous
To list
When there's still so many to ****.

I set myself on fire like I’m Richard Pryor
I am getting higher than my love desires
I am not a liar, only tired, uninspired and rewired
I am firing syllables like bullets,
So the fullest of you can burst black and blue
What should I do, I turn into you
Subscribe to the pain, don’t worry it’s peer reviewed
Sniffing animal glue, becoming the wandering jew
And covering the hotel room with my residue
Hitherto you’ll grow into your interview
Live up to to your retinue
Sever the connective tissue between your issues
And taste the powdery mildew that’s infected us.
Trust issues don’t interest me, plus
If I’m honest, thus, I’m used to the treasonous
Since they’ve already pushed me under the bus
And left with too many topics to discuss
I’m bleeding pus on these pages
and I kinda like the way they resemble you.

I drank away the stars from the sky
Embraced the the absence of light
Ate the sun at rise
Lost the weight of the world
The full moon held my hand
When the cataclysm began
Torn asunder as oceans rose
To take from land our precious homes
Frozen ice to be our tombs
The life has stilled inside her womb
Silence kills where bullets fail
Incisions made to terrify
No wind left for us to dry
We've braced ourselves the best we could
To walk amongst the lot we've doomed
Our selfish ways to feed our need

I'm not doing well
I'm lost thinking about slitting my wrists,
Shooting my head,
And suicide that fits

And it's not going away
It only gets worse
Nobody listens when I cry for help
So they'll be surprised when I'm off to hell

Are we drunk enough to **** yet?
Come on everybody, place your bet
We're racing our anxieties
But never finding the finish line
**** me, oh won't you please?
Thrill me, become mine
Thine will to be done
Til' summer has come
And away we go with abandon

I pulled so ******* these strings
that I tripped and became the martyr.
Tangled up in thoughts of you
and the esoteric things you do
inside my mind are electric.
You're fire, don't ever forget it.
I'm popping another Ritalin
with a caffeinated chase
because I have too many words to write
when all I want to do
is pen another verse
for you to carry inside your purse.
Laying in the back of a hearse
I can't help but wonder if I'm cursed,
stuck in a bubble ready to burst
but what will come first?
Death or words in my heart?

I want to love you but your killing yourself
Ain't no screaming for help
Because you taught yourself its okay
But when the windshield cracks
And the glass cuts your neck
Are they really the kisses you wanna get?

Baby I'm wet
And I'm tired of slipping in your blood,
Screaming why at the sky
Pulling out my hair
And losing another could've been, should've been
Isn't.

Make pretend that you're happy
And lose some friends in the process
Losses ain't so hard to take
When you're brains dying
So convince yourself your flying
While you crash land.

Everything I hear reminds me of you
And I kinda like the way you're riding my mind
Like you crawled behind both of my eyes
And made your home inside of my spine
I only wish you could hear it from my view
Every syllable is you, through and through
And the beauty is deafening.

Time and space both standing in place
I think I would like to hide there a while
If I may.

Every word I write feels weak in comparison to the fire inside me
Stoked higher each day, my desire was set to expire
But the date never passed.
I'm stuck inside of myself wishing for a chance
But we left 'em in the past
And the future already seems set in stone
The fire inside will burn me alive if I let it
I'm fighting to hold my tongue for the bloodletting
But I'm betting it's only upsetting to me
Use me up and let me waste away
I would give both my faces for just one more day
Crawling on my knees to kiss at your feet
I'm terrified, nowhere to hide
Tried to write this story myself but my blood just wasn't thick enough
Wish me luck
Who ever said you only die once lied.

Blood ******, though blessed be my enemies
I've been doing fine lately, so maybe that's why there's less lines in my mind.
I've been lost imagining fingers on my spine, breath in my ear and your tongue on my lips.
Couldn't give a **** if my anxiety tells me to quit; that's what it said about writing but what keeps these lights on?
I'm a crisis but one that's running out of steam.
Soon I'm going to have to accept that I'm just fine and let this version of myself die.
Not sure why I keep holding on, I guess I kinda like the way the words flow when I let 'em.
But I'm getting older, another decade facing me from across a calendar flip.
Not quite "oh ****, this is it" levels of old but enough to realize I'm not sure what I want to be.
A year ago I wasn't so dead set on building a house and starting a family.
Now I want to be a grandfather with some goats in his yard, a pipe on his lips and too much knowledge to be allowed to live.
I kid, but only in the slightest.
Let my ****** be justified, just let it be far away.
Rather raise a kid and see them grow into their own while I water the garden of my own consciousness.
Grow some skills with lots of tender care and prosper properly in perfection permanently.

Swallow your pride,
Let's go get high
And taste the sky
In each other's eyes.

Suicidal tendencies
Inside my brain
Will render me
Inert
A thousand times
Infinity
The threshold of
Your buggery
And tasteless fiends
We seldom see
Inside our ruptured
Appendixes
Find with peace
Our slaughtered glee
Laughter muted
Faces stuck in contorted
Glee
Like these ghosts
Now haunting me

I can't slip out of the noose around my neck
You better check to see if I'm still wallowing before you come hollering
I ain't got nothing but bad dreams and she screams in technicolor verses
The curses that nip at my feet have taken me to a place where even the **** of my innocence seems sacred
Face it
We lost the bet and are both running naked and we're complacent in the lies being spread
The words never said
And the bottom of the bottle's been the only thing we've ever known
I've lost control, ready to swallow any ****** 'cept the rope's too tight and only the first hit was free
Come on and walk with me into the sea until the waves cover our heads and the voices of the dead are the only sounds in the deep
I ain't got enough sleep, toss and turn like forefathers
Dig a shallow grave for the lie of my creativity
I'm stealing baby Jesus from the nativity so he can save my soul but even he can see it ain't nothing but a hole
I've lost control and my limbs are still shaking
If this was a suicide note, would it make a difference?
Bow before my diffidence, a defier of logic that fires illogical neurons to connect disparate pieces of myself with the last breath to leave my chest
Even I'm sick of my own ****

My words are a poison, pick them perfectly, preferably with passion and pleasure.
You might just get a treasure.
But find me with your irony, your ivory tower and ignorance and I'll watch as both eyes rot out of your head.
Who did you think was running this show?
God's a hobo with a list of fetishes, vices and curses;
He ain't afraid to use them, bruise them or let them die.
Look into his eyes, do you see a smile or your demise?
I'll let you in a secret, so long as you keep it,
Which won't be hard where you're going.
So listen close, while the hounds of hell nip at your feet,
I'll only say this one, so listen well...
...****, he fell.

We're burning each other on the roofs of our mouths
Too tired to shout,
I've been rewired and reprogrammed to chase dreams
And aim for the jugular when I teeth, speak or ****
But I got this thorn in my side in the shape of an angel,
Me, a sinner, never-ending self-inflationist with an ego problem and too much confidence for his wellbeing.
I'm hard of hearing when we're speaking ******* but your body screams louder than words,
though it's mostly verbs, if you catch my drift.
I'm pretty sick but not like coughing out my chest and stabbing a toddler for a pack of toilet paper
More like my head doesn't fit and all of the **** it's spewing seems imaginary
Don't let me get carried away here, I had a point I was trying to make
But saying I love you doesn't come easily to me in the case of my demons
They're breathing, skin and blood and bone and ringing phones with nobody home
You know I should be working but it's all that I do so lets take a moment with these words
And let them trace over your skin like fingernails and gentle tongues
Or **** it, we can get lost in the blood
Two animals clawing away any trace of their humanity
Flesh meets spirit, we let the world slip away
Into another hazy maze
With emotional highs and lows, though much more stable
We upgraded from that basic cable drama ****

Scared of the scared grace of your stare
I would dare, but how does one admit they care?
I'm prone to over think things, though you paint me a blank
So the gun you hold to my heart never kills.
But it does make me hesitate.
Too late, and getting older everyday,
Maybe this is a crisis,
Like the way we felt screaming out lungs out.
There's a lot I never forgot but I lack the words to share,
But it's always been there, the face and the hair.
I'm trying to be a better person each day,
But I'm a martyr with a devil on his shoulder looking for a thrill.
If looks could **** then you'd be a massacre.
My sacrament has always been la petite mort,
and the words said between.
I've managed a poem with out mentioning flame,
so maybe I'm okay,
Oh wait...

It's not my intention to bring pain everywhere I go
Just how I've lived; so, baby, it's all I know


With a hand wrapped around my throat,
And another in my lap,
I'm death-defying,
******' flying,
Ready to crash.
Land another job,
But it doesn't get rid of me.
Ain't nothing that does,
Is that stupidity or an epiphany?


Lord knows I'm a liar.
I got my downswings but this life ain't so bad,
After all, it's all I've had
I only wish I could have spent it better,
cradling your head in my lap
and running my hands through your hair.

There's people I need to cut from me,
Bleeding red until I'm free,
like ribbons in the wind.

The drugs hit
And for a moment the pain seems to dissipate
We're getting lit
Because it beats bothering to communicate
We're together now
But further away than we've ever been
I want out
But being stuck here is my only sin
You best pretend
That the love in your heart still reaches me
I best pretend
That I'm young, dumb and still innocent
Should I leave?
Or is that a recipe to keep you haunting me?
Should I stay?
Or am I sabotaging my joviality?
Who are we?
But carcasses for the stepping stone
Can't we see?
Being together doesn't mean we're not still alone.

My thoughts are spiraling like Lateralus was playing again
I aim to win, only I'm not sure if I'm shooting straight
I got an ego like you've never seen,
only I've been suppressing it so long I finally earned my sir-name.
I think that means I can now complain about how everything is aflame in this war game between our pen names.
Or is that pet names?
You've got a piece of me that I didn't know I had given up
and I'm scared to death of how simple it is to crush
my very existence in the palm of your hand.
I demand a trial by keyboard, so the warlords I've adored can finally see my lack of spinal cord and my criminal record.
Death dances disco around me tonight,
as everything burns around me tonight,
and I just don't want to be around me tonight,
so why do you?

I am a void that you can't fill
So just avoid me like a ****
But remember that where your breath dwells
I'm there as well
Between the beats of your heart,
the stops and the starts
Hear me whispering your name in the dark
Like the devil on your shoulder
Ain't no angel givin' orders
I'll be the face that you see
While he's got you on your knees
Don't worry baby,
Your secret was never safe with me.

I'm five seconds away from killing myself
So I might as well die with your *** in my mouth
Wearing your **** like glasses
**** the masses
and the massive void I'm flirting with inside

There's a darkness hidden behind every light
A pleasure behind every fight
An end of days behind every night

Nostalgic love,
a warm lap to lay your head -
never to be returned.

Nostalgic love,
forgetting the enmity -
and the fights that were yet to come.

Nostalgic love,
a piece of your heart dying in your chest -
move past and carry on.

Nostalgic love,
how you taunt me in photographs -
forever imaging what never was.

Nostalgic love,
longing for a place that is no more -
you can never return home once you've left.

Nostalgic love,
forever gone.

I feel empty and alone
Maybe that's the way it should be
With only myself left
To watch over me
I don't know what's left to say
I've loved you every single day
But love and life
Ain't got a whole lot to do with me
So I write another book
Take another job
Lose my ******* self
In the workahol
Another sleepless night
Another deadline to write
I'm killing myself
In the only way that people praise
Suicide isn't quick
Now it takes forty years
Eleven left to go, I guess

What is this?
Am I mad, do tell?
For letting me
Drag me straight through hell.

What is this?
A pile of *******?
Another trip inside my head
Where devils reside and satyrs grin?

There's cuts under the collar
Another superlative grin again
The summoning of dividends
And whiskey breath that reeks of gin
Do pass a kiss and face the chin
Down the gallows sweet caress, le fin.

Rumble *****, the devil's in
Will whip me through the flesh again
And be this so, on this here night
He'll take my life, he'll **** my wife.

The words are seldom quite so strong
But the bottle helps to carry on
As I face my fate, what I've become.

I've been a *******
Filled with regrets
And little vignettes
So woe is me

I want to apologize to people that I can't find
For things not so safe to define

I've forgotten more people than I remember
But I haven't forgotten you
Despite all the **** I do
There's still pieces missing

I'm far too old to be young
And far too young to be sentimental
Fighting with my insecurities
And chemical deficiencies

I don't know quite what I want
And expect less, less, less
If you ever read this,
I'm sorry.

I was always a mess
But it shouldn't have spewed onto you
When you need friendship, companion
And I panic and abandon.

All I can really say is
******* it.

The curse of nostalgia
Reminding better days
From out of a past
Whence pain was forgot
The suffering of innocence
Gnashing at the leash
Holding back the progressive
Drowning in false pretense
Lying to sleep in waves
A beached whale
Choking the lungs
Clogging the veins
****** dreams, faded denim
Torn at the seam
Seamless

I'm all lies and bad etiquette
Don't like myself but then again who's head am I in?
Mine or yours?
Mine or my fantasy?
Mine or thine's enemy?
I'm a child of hate, spite and fury...
'cept that's a lie, my mom's an angel and my dad's an influence.
I made myself into whatever the **** I am, so I can't point the blame at them.
But what am I?
I feel like a success and I got the track record to ******* prove it.
But this other part screams I'm nothing.
Isn't nothing all we are?
What makes a man human?
****, what makes a man a man?
We're finally waking up to the idea that this was all a costume party,
Frankly it's about ******* time.
I don't care if you're buddhist, muslim, christian or any other domain,
I'm sick of watching my friends hurt.
It's just another thing I can't control and I'm sick to dying with all this ******* lying.
Maybe one day I'll wake up and forget my name and the simulation will come crashing down.
But since  I think I'm in it, I'd kinda like to win it but without all this ******* regret.

But honestly, I'm as two-faced as they come.
Only it's typically me I'm lying to.
Lately I feel like that's growing
The cracks are showing,
Thank god for comedy, poetry and metaphysical mutilation.
Transgress and live free,
Escape spiritual poverty.