were
I to awake a day
to nothing abstract
to
just real life
nothing obtuse
or glorified
might the sun shine?

Toll the bells!
because we are not anymore
what we were
our happy funeral
with uplifting songs
and heart taking hymns
with merry chants
with sweet Deep moans
with wide smiles
with tears dropping from our eyes
as we say goodbye
as I know we'll always love each other
as we taste the last time
as the city waves goodbye
a kiss in each corner, in each subway station
a remembrance - of what bloomed these days
But my past chases me
I chase my own steps
I am the wolf of my own dreams
I sacrifice myself to stay alive
But no longer
Stunted growth has to go
as I venture into the city lights again
the city lights that spoke your name
the things I will never forget
I might be back (I know this getting away is merely to be back)
but when?

I need to flee
to find out
who I am meant to be

Every now and then
a happy poem comes
From my lips, from my thoughts
Sometimes sweet for my tongue

And it's surprising - it feels odd
But it came alone, on its own
A feeling that I can fight it all
Despite the bitterness of this ******* world
A feeling of beauty in chaos
A feeling I won't give up
A feeling of calmness, peace inside
Growing in my room or in the outside
Growing in me, a sense of relief
A sense of beauty, a grasp of it

Dance swiftly, my briar rose,
for in autumns lament you shall not seek repose

Cry bitterly,  my willow tree,
for the silver haired maid is long lost at sea

Sing serenely, my morning stars,
for the poetic moon is no longer ours

*... Hear my whispers in the dark ...

My eyes always see the floor when I walk by
But my ears can still hear the mocking laughs
Fingers pointing at me
As though knives stabbing me repeatedly
Splitting my heart into halves
I still look in the mirror that doesn't lie
They have eyes, nose, lips, and everything
And so do I
Now, what's wrong with this face of mine?
The acne, freckles, pores, scars, and whatnot?
People can have it, who says they cannot?
"Too slim, too fat"
I am me, can't society accept that?
I asked the mirror that doesn't lie,
"I'm beautiful, aren't I?"

I dreamed last night
My earrings were lost
I did not scream...

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