When you persist in delving despite their refusal,
And they say..."F**k it, here's what's wrong",

I wish I hadn't done that!

I was just in my shower after a long time away from it.
Thoughts scattered and fell over and
I felt like The Dead
fumbling at the start of Morning—
—Dew in the Lyceum
in London, not Athens, before
it all makes sense again

I thought I wanted
To numb the pain
But I was wrong
I can’t feel anything
No desire to live
No desire to die
No desire at all
I can’t feel
And it’s so much worse
Than feeling pain
Every breath is forced
Every heartbeat plain
This isn’t right
Something’s wrong
With me
And that fear
Is the only thing
That I can feel
So I savor it
So I stimulate it
So I simulate it
Amidst the emptiness
Of existence

You opened your arms to welcome me into your family.
   A angel sent to follow through our pathways of life.
   A circle of love with no ending nor beginning.
  A pocket filled with care @ understanding.
A hug to reach around our world, where ever we are. Today, Tomorrow and Forever.