Feeling so empty;
I attempt to fill the void
with smoke of all varieties.

My addiction, very, may -
well cause all sorts of charades.

I hope you remember me..
Though I know it might be best
to forget me altogether..

Quite the broken and frail man --
but- supposedly- an amazing lover.

Is it unfair of me
to make your body quiver
knowing I won't be able to deliver
any of the long held dreams in your life?

I'd love to make you my wife
but it'd be unfair to you.

Essentially, you're a perfect ten..
& I'm a broken abacus.

I feel I must set you free
because I know you love anchors
but I do not wish to be one in your life.

What is there to say
at this stage?
I, too, hate certain aspects
of my personality.

& you're going to go far, kid.
I don't want to restrain your potential
with my addictive personality
and possibly bipolar brain.

On top of the world
  slightly unsettled
   uncomfortable
    angst/anxious
        numb
       Repeat.

" Doctor, doctor..
My heart has bled, bountifully,
with the deep & dreaded desire!
This boy's been bustling over the girl-
who- on instagram- posts pictures of fire.
There's too much energy- flowing
through the wires- of my mind
when I think of that brunette beauty.
She's smoother than a 12 year Brandy..
It's honestly not that hard to understand,
- you see?
I've admired this woman
since I was thirteen.
I remember walking her home,
half a dozen years ago- on my birthday.
Easy going chit chat-
mind full of riff raff-
trying not to look like an aśs-
cause I always did had a mass-
ive crush on this cup of Brandy.
We were from such different worlds,
Hell, we still are. 
I wish I would've stayed working
at that ****** little bar,
I would have - had I known she was
lurking amongst the crowd-
with a resume.
I'm younger than her; touché.
But- I've learned a lot since the day-
that she and her friends pulled me
a case of beer- on my birthday.

& I'd love the opportunity
to show her the growth;
to make her feel better
than she does-  most days, currently. "

Each and every
minor detail is magnificent
about this woman.

Simply said, she's
completely captivating.

I attempt to avoid aiming my eyes at her
but it's useless- unfortunately.

She possesses the ability to ******
any and all males, if she so pleased.

She is a queen,
& - oh - what I would do,
to be a peasant in her empire!

I'd be content with you
striking thunder unto my eyes
if what I feel - is not her thighs,
like twin snakes,
constricting my skull;
- deafening me.
All noises are null:
I, ignorantly, believe. -
All - but - the voice of she,
- 'tis such a sweet melody.
It's the only noise I seem -
to pay careful, close attention to.
The voice of she
is what I need -
deep within the canal of my ear.
Is this dream too far from near -
possible?
Now, I must ask, do-
you hear the tears I cry:
smashing down- on the floor boards?
Lust -
must've slipped my mother's mind -
whilst explaining to me -
life's lesions on one's aura.

Arise, my son!

Attempt to grasp the day
with such magnificent force!

Let your darkness dissipate
each time I come around.

Love,
The Sun

________


How was that?

Deep in the dark,
your true self will sit.

You may fool the oxygen suckers
but I know your thoughts are thicker
than smuckers jelly.

I, drunkenly, take a load off:

falling to the floor from
cancerous, crippling coughs.

Snow blankets my body.

"Was I ever good en-off (enough)?"

I stuff my mouth
full of moss-y fungus
& within minutes
my mind leaves my body.

Snow blankets my corpse.