I saw two girls
Laughing and shopping
At a dollar general
It reminded me
When I wasn't so
Miserable

When I had friends
To buy snacks with
When every day
Wasn't consumed with
Trying to be better
Trying to be skinny
Hating myself
Feeling lonely
Dark
Cold

I miss that laughter
I miss those days
Together
Any weather
We were warm
Eating snacks
Telling eachother
Random
Facts
Buying crazy
Toys
Laughing
About
Boys

Those were the days
Now I sit in a cube
Isolated alone
In my cold room
In my cold mind
Focusing on
Whatever the ****
The grind
Is
That's all I do
Isolated
In
My
Cold cube

How long can I pretend
To feel
To heal
What's real ?
I'm lost
∆°In the surreal ∆°
The art is false
The grass is grey
I'm a needle
In hay
Nobody's looking
Lost forever

It ***** to lose the one
The one person who made the stars
More magical then they already are

The one person
You could lay on the road with
Talk and bond your soul with
The one person you were forever with

A sister
A friend
A soulmate
A magical date

It really *****
So ******* much
Who will I look up with?
To see the stars at night

They feel dull to me now
They feel wrong to me now
I feel only sad
And lonely
When I look above
It'll never be
What it once was

You and me
Sharing our hearts
On a cold open road
Laying there like crazy nuts
Laughing and singing
Our minds were ringing
Of joy
being content  
Of magic
So potent

Now it's gone
Your touch
Our love
The friendship
Everything it was

It really *****
To lose all that
It really really ******* *****
To remember that
It can never be what it was

Now everytime I look above
I feel my heart being torn
Apart
Now I can only feel blue
When I look at the pale  moon
: (

I feel the February air
But I don't care
I can't care
You seem to be everywhere

You are all of new York
You are all of my walls
You are all of my parts
You
...  You
Are
Or were
All of me
Now you are just one thing
February air

You run through me
Without a care
You blare your angst
You remind me of the pain
Of leaving me at the door way
Of pushing our friendship away
Every day

You remind me
Of running into your arms
Of corn and fields of farms
Of surprises in train stations
Of birthdays in New York
Laughter in a swimming pool
Walmart shopping at midnight
And bagel bites candle lights
But most of all
You always remind me
Of February air
The breeze I once loved
Now dead and mud
Cold through the bone
No brisk breeze
Just frigid freeze

You are the seasonal depression
But every month now it seems
There is no end
To February
My very being
It'll fade
The autumn will come again
One day
I know it
I hope it
I need it
For I cannot breathe
For the rest of my life
In
February air

When I was younger
I would lie awake
Crying
Praying
The other side of the bed wouldn't be empty
One day
Maybe someday

I never imagined
I had no clue
I only dreamt
Of someone like you

I don't think you know
Despite your joking ego
That you're beautiful
Inside and out
Not a single doubt

You're welcoming and true
You're hardworking and unapologetically you
You're the sweet warm brew
That brightens up my blue

I love the kindness you have
I love the way you laugh
I love being with you in a bath
And the way you make me laugh

I never for a second thought
That such a gift would be brought
Into this sad cold world
But here you our
With every single flaw
You own it
You flaunt it
I love you to pieces and bits!

You're like the snow
I waited so long for you to show
you came along
My heart started to grow
The crystals and cold
The icy white snow
You are a breath of cold wind
Blowing on my face
Making me feel this is my place
My home
My joy
My happiness
Maybe others don't understand
But I know you are one hell of a man!

I love you

Duh!