Sabrina

Sabrina Oct 2018

lil poem

I think the saddest part
Is that no matter who it is
She will always see parts of him in them
And fear falling

#love #depression #anxiety #heartache

Sabrina Oct 2018

Untitled

I hate seeing others happy
Perhaps it's because I feel like I cannot have that
Perhaps it's because I've had it once before
But I was left in the fog
Trying to find my way alone
I hate seeing others in love
Maybe it's because I've experienced it once before
But my heart was broken
and it's slowly recovering

short.

#love #depression #anxiety #heartbreak

Sabrina Oct 2018

A Thank You

I wish I had never met you
But at the same time, you taught me things
Don't trust others easy
Don't let them in easy
You left my stomach feeling queasy
Uneasy for a week
Making my heart feel bleak
I kept trying to seek your approval
Your love and your heart
Though you didn't want me anymore
So I just fell apart
You said you loved me from the start
You said it too easily though,
Then took it all back at the end
That's what tore me apart
We'd talk about our future together
Late at night when we should be sleeping
But now I lay awake in my bed at night
Alone and weeping
You were so far away so it's not like I could make you want me
She could give you something I couldn't
I wish I had never met you
But thank you for everything you had taught me.

#love #depression #couples #heartbreak #loneliness

Sabrina Oct 2018

I'm not her

It just kinda hurts
Just a little bit
The way you told me all these things
For months on end
We would sit up in bed
And instead of sleeping
We'd talk about our future together instead
You were far away though, so I couldn't give you what you needed
She swept you off your feet
By being able to hear your heartbeat
That was something I couldn't do,
Unless you had patience
So because you fell for her all because she could give you 1 thing I couldn't
It made me feel like I wasn't enough
I shouldn't have expected it to last, though
Your words were too sweet and you confessed too easy
The summer nights were always a bit too breezy
So as I watched you walk away
Your heart pounding for her instead
My once heart full of love sways away
Leaving me feeling far too empty
With tears streaming down my eyes, and my screams filling my head
I'll forever lay in bed and think about all the words you'd said

#love #depression #happiness #couples #relationship #heartbreak

Sabrina Oct 2018

Pretty Dolly.

Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what they called her.
She'd run around in her white gown,
thinking no one could touch her.
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what she'd heard.
As all the people around town tried to control her
Didn't even exist, but people could see her
Her non-existent heart wrenched as she watched people around her.
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what she'd seen.
Figured she'd put them all out of their misery,
Red splattering her gown,
As they bowed down like she were their queen.
She was the talk of town,
As she ran around
Now that she knew she could only be seen
By those who weren't sane in the brain
How cruel of this world to be so mean
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what they called her.
Her white gown turning brown from the dirt of the world around her
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
Just a ghost of what those who wanted help wanted.
A cruel reality-check,
They were all haunted.
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what she'd been seen as
Her ghostly form
She showed no remorse
As she left them in the dirt
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly.

I don't know what this is tbh, figured it had a nice catch to it, so I wrote.

#schizophrenia #halloween #horror #blood #scary #love #reality

Sabrina Oct 2018

please.

give me a reason to keep holding onto it
give me a reason not to lose hope
give me a reason to keep my patience
give me a reason to keep trying to stop these cruel thoughts
cause I'm starting to find it difficult to find any more.

#love #depression #anxiety #patience #heartbreak

Sabrina Sep 2018

Peace &

Maybe if I was dead they'd listen
They'd understand just a little bit more
So by tears pouring down and me wearing a constant frown,
Tears welling up in my eyes and I want to say goodbye
To have peace and tranquility
I often can't vent to others, as it will turn into the same line over and over
Almost like a stutter
Get this voice out of my head
This monster controlling my mind
Making me blind to the goodness of the one who claims they love me
Blinding me with words others have said from my past
And at last it swallows me whole
A hole in my heart
Tearing me apart
I often just want to feel at peace
My mind at ease
But that feels impossible
As this world is difficult to please.
Put my mind to ease,
A gun to my head
My depression forcing this black hole to get bigger and bigger
Take off the safety and pull the trigger.

Tranquility.

#love #depression #anxiety #sadness #trust #issues