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 Oct 2020 Harley Hucof
Van Xuan
The only reason
Why I can't sleep at night
Is because of you

The girl who left me behind
I feel restless everytime this mood hits me
I was shut-in on my own little freedom
Where other people die because of boredom
How can I escape in this reality of wisdom?
I want to live in my imagination and build my own kingdom.
I long for affection from my peers
But this fortress I've built prevents me from getting close
because of this I'm the loneliest person i know
melancholy still envelops me every second
parts of me fight to step out of my fortress
but the pain of the ones I've loved the most
holds me instead

Id like to say I'm over it
Its nothing but a distant memory but id be lying
I think about it everyday
it replays like a broken projector I'm forced to watch
Strapped down to these theatre seats
My tears staining my face forever

I ache for their touch to be held close
to feel that warmness only another body can provide
Neurotic might as well be my first name
You can tell just by looking at me
                 I'm crawling in my skin                                                    
I will not let you in ever again
  maybe that's the saddest part
I cant forgive you
                    not any of you.
I might have created this façade that I am whole again but
I'm the best actress in this tragedy
its almost comical how I've attempted to sweep everything under the rug
Part of me demands justice
     the other just wants silence to all of these repetitive thoughts
Anguish devours me constantly but
   disassociation is my game
I'm not sure how long i can play
My patients is wearing thin
no longer wanting to deal with this because there is NO solution but to forget
to forget is impossible
  So I remain incredibly alone.
 Oct 2020 Harley Hucof
zumee
fume-per-fume
It all began
when the alien artisan
farted
a masterpiece
substance
called
It
Don't sing idle love songs into the wind --
A distraught heart might be lurking near;
How awkward when you attempt to rescind
Loving words they were not meant to hear

Tread lightly lest you awaken the beast
That's held captive in some desperate heart,
When from its ******* Hope has been released,
It becomes fair game for Cupid's dart

Those crumbs of Love you've capriciously tossed
Might be hungrily devoured in haste;
Once that bridge to Paradise has been crossed,
O, what pain when steps must be retraced

Exercise due caution when you declare
Unwavering love to a forlorn heart;
Deceitful words, though delivered with flair,
Carry the sting of a poisoned dart

Words of love are the messengers of hope
That allow earthbound hearts to take flight;
But lies and deceit weave the fatal rope
That binds lonely hearts to their sad plight
Awareness of ignorance
she was afraid
when they looked
at her
what did they see
always wondering
what they were thinking
how do they feel
analyzing every
little thing she said
overthinking
she just cared
so much
she just wanted to be
accepted
have heard dark stories 
on crossroads
seen the films

cages

i intend to write more about mother 
her slight appearance 
later neatness

her enthusiasm a while for new
clothes

if I carefully mentioned I liked them
she would buy the same for me

unfortunately for me

it lasted a while
until she failed

a lockdown

her shape changed with age
as we do

dresses became more the thing
with belts

man made materials
with all those idiosyncrasies 

static and snagging

i walked then too
down the river and along 

sadly
 Sep 2020 Harley Hucof
JustHayy
There's the high,
And there's the low
Oh, but the numbness in the middle,
Feels most like home to me.
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