I have this recurring dream where I’m running.
Running and running.
Full speed,
sprinting towards everything
and nothing at all.
And I don’t know
what I’m running from,
or running to.
I don’t know where I am,
There’s no history of what I’ve done.
In this place I know nothing,
and I am nothing.
I just know that I have to keep running.
Because there’s a pounding in my chest,
and my feet are aching to keep moving
and there is this subtle
but paralyzing fear
that if I stop running,
only for a moment,
if I stop running,
if I can place where I am
if I can remember who I am,
if I stop for one single moment,
I know that I will die.
So I run.
In some versions,
tears stream down my face
blurring into the lights and sounds.
In other versions,
I am laughing with intoxicating bliss,
like some animal that has been kept
locked away,
only to discover that there is an entire world
outside the iron walls of everything
I knew before.
Sometimes,
I keep looking behind me,
like I’m waiting for something to catch up to me.
Sometimes I look nowhere but ahead,
to the horizon,
the rising moon,
never-ending ground.
Sometimes there is pavement,
and street lights melting together,
as if the lens of my consciousness has been left open,
sometimes I can’t see at all,
I only hear my own breath,
the rhythmic pounding of my soul hitting the pavement.
But always,
I am running.

The room is getting smaller now
...Or is the elephant getting bigger
Whichever...
The air is getting quite stale
And I am quietly suffocating
I force myself to put one foot in front of the other
...But I find it debilitating

Time seems to have picked up momentum and stopped,
In this relentless moment,
We keep reliving
Where the tides have run dry
And the winds have become still

I don't much like this emotional purgatory
Your comfort zone,
We call home
I used to wonder when, and how we got here
Or why we decided to unpack and stay

I never thought we'd get comfortable

And I never thought  I'd be leaving this place,
Alone

But i keep looking out the window
Void of connection,
Lack of direction
And I'm reminded of a world, that's passing me by

While the air is slowly thinning

And I often look at you and wonder,
How you can still breathe

Not moving forward, not moving at all

But you keep feeding that elephant
And I'm still starving

We were both waiting for eachother....
But neither one of us,
Really arrived
And I can't stay here anymore
Just to remain....
Idle

J. Hitchcock

in the great arching web where all souls reside, and knowledge is shared like starlight. each one takes its turn to be human, to see the world more than as a mess of highways glittering white. and we each bring with it a piece of that knowledge we share as one.

there is a collective of human experience, in the great prehistoric brain we all share, and each little life we live, taking turns to experience each wrinkle of our planet, is simply one step in getting the bigger picture.

you and i are the same. it is my turn to be me, and soon it will be yours. and then you will write my words and i will sit in your chair and we will connect again through opposite sides.

there is a part of my soul that did not enter this body with me. all my life i have searched for it. i am still young, and maybe one day we will meet. for now, i am immortal. but when again i fade into the spiderweb of all things, i hope i shall find again the piece of me that stayed behind with you.