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Hannah Field Oct 2018
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?

No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like (What it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Hannah Field Mar 2019
I loved her...
Her hair
Her eyes
Her body
Everything
She was special
She was unique
I wanted to tell her
But she was one of my best friends
I told Erin and chloe and everyone else
I hope she reads this I hope she knows
That I love her very dearly
Hannah Field Sep 2018
Why did you try to **** yourself...
You told me to be happy...
Hannah Field Sep 2018
Roses are red, Violets are blue
sugar is sweet and prehaps so are you
But the roses are wilted and the violets are dead
The sugar bowls empty your wrists are stained red
The sun isn't shining, the sky isn't clear
there's no sliver lining cause your no longer here
Rain keeps on pouring, theres no end in sight
you're laying there frozen, so far from light
Your beautys unreal, your smile the sun
but time can't be turned nor your actions undone
Hannah Field Apr 2019
My depression get the best of me
Long nights I don’t rest or sleep
Jaw tight as I compress my teeth
Digest the devil pressin me
Repress the stress that rest in me
Death don’t ever pester me
Life brings on all the pressure see
I can’t even measure the little pleasures
why can’t I just Rest In Peace
I strive to never take my life
Hear voices from a gun and knife
Fake light for when my dark nights strike
But **** the light, give me a ladder
I’d rather fight and climb back to the surface
Search through all my pain for purpose
Learn to deal with the hurt and worthless
Help others in similar circumstances
Gives them chances in advance
To never glance on suicidal’s dance
#f ;ghter
Hannah Field Oct 2018
When I saw your body for the first time
I realized how war torn you were
how many you battles you lost
on your wrists
on your thighs
how many fires occurred
on your sides
your lovely sides
and how many times I told you
I loved you because I do
because no matter how many times
you have lost the battle
you will always win the war
Hannah Field Sep 2018
You are a work of art
The thing you have been through
Make you more valuable
Hannah Field Dec 2018
I think of my best friend and know that she is the person who will be there for me, even when I can't be here for myself who will CHEER me to my greatest heights and who will console me when I've fallen down. She will STAND UP for me and LIE DOWN beside me. She will FORGIVE me when I've hurt her and will occasionally, even bite her tongue when she could have easily said " I TOLD YOU SO"
Thank's Chloe Brazel, Erin Johnson, Jacinta Alt and Saffy Lafsky
Hannah Field Feb 2017
the gift of friendship

the gift of friendship is a priceless gift, that cannot be brought or sold,its value if far greater than a mountain of gold. for gold is cold and lifeless,it can neither see nor hear,and in the time of trouble it is powerless to cheer. it has no ear to listen,no heart to listen. it cannot bring you comfort or reach out a helping hand. so when you ask god for a gift,be thankful if he sends,not Diamonds,pearls or riches, but the love of a real true friend. PS: this is from my anthology. i hope you like it
Hannah Field Feb 2019
Maybe in the world of Emojis
They laugh at their ignorance
Every time we send smiley faces
with sad intentions
We no longer laugh like humans
we just imagine laughter
Hannah Field Oct 2018
So I grab the knife... Put it up to my wrist... Close my eyes... And just cut away!!!!!!

I take one good slice... So fast that I can't feel It... Till it's too late..............
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Just a cut
Just a scratch
What's that Mark?
It was just the cat
Just an excuse
Just another lie
What's with all the bracelets
It's fashion why
Just a tear
Just a scream
Why are you crying?
Just a bad dream
But It's not just a cut
Or a tear or a scream
It's always just one more till you die...
Hannah Field Nov 2018
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I really like garlic bread
I don't know how to rhyme
Hannah Field Feb 2019
Sometimes you tell someone to never call you again, and then the phone rings and you hope it's them
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Sitting all alone with a broken heart
broken hopes broken spirits
everything is broken
why did you ruin everything?
what did I do wrong
I wanted to give my love
But all I did was lose my best- friend
and everything I love
Hannah Field Nov 2018
We're suicidal kids telling other suicidal kids suicide is not the answer.
Hannah Field Sep 2018
I AM ME
and I
won't change 4 you
Hannah Field Nov 2018
Roses were red
Violets were blue
But now all flowers are dead and soon I will be too.
Hannah Field Sep 2018
Is it better to be hated
For what you are
Than to be loved
For what you are not
Hannah Field Feb 2019
Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with a color.

















Red...
Hannah Field Sep 2018
It's Sad
Knowing That
I Love Others
More Than
I Love Myself
I Hate To See Others
In Pain
But When It
Comes To
Me
"I'm Fine'
Hannah Field Oct 2018
A broken mirror
A bleeding fist
A sliver blade against my wrist
Tears falling down on lips UnKissed
Ignore her and she won't exist
She's not the kind you will come to miss
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Skin
so perfect
smooth and soft
canceling the pain within
suddenly the knife cuts deep
trying to cut away the suffering
that's hiding underneath a smile
a blood red waterfall
ending a life
whispering goodbye
forever
Hannah Field Oct 2018
I feel like everyone hates me. But it's okay I hate myself to
Hannah Field Oct 2018
My heart has quit beating...
I have nothing else to share
Hannah Field Apr 2019
Living with mental illness makes almost every single day a battle. Will we wake up and handle our stress or will our brains completely derail and make us want to give up? Will today be a good day or will we fall closer to rock bottom again?

We KNOW we have everything to live for (kids, family, friends, great jobs, etc.) and we ARE grateful for those amazing fortunes...but something always haunts us. We are always fighting to stay on top and to control how our emotions flow out. There is always a fear, however small and maybe even subconscious, that today could be the day that breaks us or that we fall back down from however far we've climbed. Its a constant, conscious effort to survive, let alone thrive. Some days are easier than others. Treatment and/or therapy helps, but we're never "cured". The demon can be tamed but never exorcised. This is us.

We are mothers, fathers, friends, coworkers, siblings, sons, daughters. We smile through pain. We cling to the smallest hopes and continue to climb.

So show some compassion. Give hugs and high fives when you're having a good day. Check on your friends who may be slipping. Help them up. Show them you care, don't just tell them. You could be the light in someone's darkness that brings them back to life. #Depression #Anxiety #Suicide #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe
Hannah Field Sep 2018
A glint had caught a baggy eye
To spark a thought to jump the fence
Could I grasp the handle- was I shy
Of what I had to do and hence remain
Enshrined in overwhelming strife
Hannah Field Feb 2019
Dear whoever reads this,

There is nothing for me here.I don’t want to go on. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Please believe me. I love you all so very much. And I don’t want to hurt you anymore.

Everyone say that you are meant to feel safe whenever you go to school. I don’t I have to work into expecting to get bullied and get **** written on the wall about me. I feel like no one loves me not even my own family. Death doesn’t even want me and that’s saying something.

I wish it was just as easy as saying One, Two, Three and I’d be gone.

I made so many memories with my friends and my family.
But this period of time has just been so ****. My family has started to fight more and has started to hate me more. As I sit in class wondering what I’m going to do at recess. Oh no that’s right I have to hide in a ******* bathroom to eat my food because I’m afraid what people are going to think about me.  

It *****… It really does… I’ve put my family through a lot… Maybe that’s why they hate me because I’m a fat, ugly, waste of space that no one wants.

I hate being judged I hate not having clothes that fit me and having to wear the same clothes for at least 2 weeks straight. I’m always going to school and getting letters home saying you owe the school more than $800. Dad says he is going to sort it out he’ll find the money but he never will. I’ve had all these thoughts pile up in my head now that I can’t even think anymore… I want it to stop.
I need it to stop cutting myself everyday is not just enough I need to go deep or hang myself or I could try overdosing again. Whatever I decide I know it’s for the best… I’ll miss you guys so much…Things just seemed to go too wrong too many times

Goodbye,
Hannah Field

Dear Dad,
I’m sorry I continue to disappoint you, I’m sorry I’ve changed. I wish we could rewind. I love you death and I will still love you after. But I just couldn’t do it anymore. Everyday became harder and harder(hey at least there will be two positives to my death your smokes will still always be there and you don’t have to put up with me always getting suspended and fighting you) I know you can’t understand and I don’t expect you to. And I don’t know what else to tell you expect I really am sorry but I know you won’t believe me. I’m sorry…
I love you all so very much and I'll miss you guys
Hannah Field Sep 2018
The rain got sad
when they shut themselves
in doors
but he
found a companion
in the little boy
strapped heavily
in books
who made his vocation his consumption
of every puddle
Hannah Field Sep 2018
My day is
Ash grey
The night is
to long
These words are all wrong
There's nothing right to say
As I lay down to rest
No dreams come it's for the best...
Daylight comes, boredom to
Why'd I bother to give up to soon?
Could this be a better day

- Hannah
Hannah Field Sep 2018
Just because my eyes don't tear
Doesn't mean my heart doesn't cry
And just because I come off strong
Doesn't mean there's nothing wrong
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Death is only the beginning is all she could say
as she cried sliding the blade
tears rolling down her fragile face
she was beaten hard out of her grace
heartbroken words written on her goodbye
This is her goodbye
Hannah Field Oct 2018
Doctor: She is dead
School:The fat one? Oh yeah she deserved it
Boyfriend: I didn't even like her
Friend: At least I don't have to pretend I like her anymore
Counselor: I had to many clients I have to deal with.
She made my job easier
Hannah Field Oct 2018
When I'm gone what will you do
Who will write and draw for you?
Someone smarter- Someone new
Someone Better- Maybe YOU!!!

— The End —