This is what I vow;
He shall have my heart to keep,
Sweetly will we stir and sleep,
    All the years, as now.
Swift the measured sands may run;
Love like this is never done;
He and I are welded one:
    This is what I vow.

    This is what I pray:
Keep him by me tenderly;
Keep him sweet in pride of me,
    Ever and a day;
Keep me from the old distress;
Let me, for our happiness,
Be the one to love the less:
    This is what I pray.

    This is what I know:
Lovers' oaths are thin as rain;
Love's a harbinger of pain--
    Would it were not so!
Ever is my heart a-thirst,
Ever is my love accurst;
He is neither last nor first:
    This is what I know.

I want to rewind time
I've been a broken record
I've been stuck on
thinking about you and me
and the things we never were.
i'm hoping
i could change that
last hug to a last kiss,
with me pushing you up against my car,
fingers running through your hair.
i want to feel your lips quiver,
like they used to.
what can I whisper into your mouth,
i love you?
i'll miss you?
you mean oceans and oceans to me?
if  I don't,
what would caress your brain?
would you dream of others?
what could be?
what i should've been?
****,
what should i have been?

she's here,
but i don't see her.

she's here,
with her dull eyes
but i don't see her.

she's here,
with her fragile body,
but i don't see her.

she's here,
with stained cheeks,
but i don't see her.

she's here,
not not uttering a single word,
and i still don't see her.

i don't see the girl i used to know.
i don't see her.

her with bright, glittering eyes.
her with an enthusiastic soul within a body.
her with that curved up line in her face.
her with too many words to say.

*i just don't see her.

do not date a girl
who writes.
she will internalize
everything,
carve poems
into your eyelashes
instead of
kissing them,

she will analyze you,
calculate age
from the rings
your coffee cup
leaves
instead of refilling it.

she will memorize
the way your
lips curl around steam,
but not that you
take it
two sugars,
no cream.

she will read your
palm instead of
holding it
against her chest.

she will not
blink
when you leave,
because she is
already
romanticizing it.

I wake as your  friend                                     You wake as my lover
I speak as your lover                                       You speak as my friend
I act as your possession                                   You are my possesion
I rebel as your cover                                        A means to an end
I hurt for your compassion                             You live for my acceptance
I injure for your respect                                  Though it's never been withheld
I confide for your emotion                              You crave my direction
I give and you collect                                      Never will you rebel

This is madness                                               This is Sparta
This is insanity                                                This is the price of exellence
I can't be everything for you                          I am your everything
You can't be everything for me                     I am magnificence
You treat everyone the same                         I am fair and righteous
As a friend, yet as a lover                              And yet you seek more
And it's a cruel, cruel game                          Dare you grow capricious
From your twisted love, no one recovers     You'll become one I abhor

I am done                                                       You are confused
(I am never done)                                          And I will not calm you
I am sick                                                        As I am amused
(But I'm not tired)                                         As I drop little clues  
I will run                                                        You'l­l never leave me
(I won't run)                                                  But I'll abandon you
Because I love you                                        You'll always need me
(A better word is 'desire')                             And I'll never need you

Let me go!                                                    My grip is vice-like
(But you're not holding me)                       I'm not ready to let you go
Bring me back!                                            If I lose you, 'my dear'
(But I never left)                                          I must find yet another 'beau'
Love me only!                                             And I've not the time to put effort
(But you love equally)                               In little minions like you
Push me away!                                          I've not a care to give for
(Or bridge this rift)                                    You insects I never knew

Please, disappear                                       I am your torture
One day you'll understand                      But I am your salvation
That the twisted way you love                 I am your executioner
Could coax death from any human        And I am your redemption
Please, disappear!                                     You'll wish me dead forever
Though I'll weep when you're gone        You'll wish me dead I know
I know sanity will return                          And you'll wish yourself deader
And I'll eventually move on.                    *When away I finally go.