Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Jan 2015 Greyson Fay
WickedHope
so ******* fractured
bloodshot eyes
casual lies
i'm okay, i'm okay
i'm fine i say
no one cares enough to notice
the marks on my wrists
the drawings in my sketch book
the title of my playlist
if my tears pool on the ground
and leak under my door
will you see
does anyone see
what my own thoughts do to me
i'm so **** unstable
so irreparable
it's a shame that i'm wasting all this oxygen
thought of cutting myself off today
but i'm so scared i always end up stoppin'
i wear black because i'm mo(u)rning
and hoping i won't see another
don't give me empty words of comfort
don't give me a warning
give me ******* medication
i sit with some copers
drinkers and dopers
oh how it ***** to be the first to come to
when they're still smokin' and drinkin'
and my thoughts are so blue
so i go straight back
breathing in anything i can
to escape the world
my head
my ******* head
for a few moments
before i come back
come to
and cry
like i am now
i dig at my skin
trying to reach something within
dark or light
anything to make me feel alright
stopping just before there's blood
because i'm already seein' red
i don't deserve tomorrow
only my ****** up yesterdays
make a new plan to carry out
i stumble and shake with regret for what i can't do
so ******* fractured
bloodshot eyes
casual lies
i'm okay, i'm okay
i'm fine i say
no one cares enough to notice
so i continue to medicate myself
melting brain cells
taking in all the smells
I'm just not feeling happy and want to be alone and cry
Goodnight everyone
 Jan 2015 Greyson Fay
cxbra
I spent the beginning of the semester
writing short unfinished poems
soon to be completed
by the words of someone else
terribly afraid of the messages
who am I speaking of
what am I talking about
writing in ink
hoping that I don’t run out
anytime soon
there’s still so much to say
the words translated between the two
were more than magical
most artist collaborate
connecting concepts
this was different
these artists collaborated
kept the vision of one
telling two stories
through the voice of one
only to be told to one another
only to be seen by the binders
they kept all of their scraps in
I spent the end of the year
writing completed poems
soon to be forgotten
by the minds of others
terribly afraid of the messages
being missed
I’ve been speaking to you
I’ve been talking about life
writing in ink
hoping that I’ll never run out
I’m just getting started
these words I hope you see
and remember the quotes
I left you
most artists go their separate ways
and never reconnect
 Dec 2014 Greyson Fay
PhiWrit
This world we live in is terribly cold
Stone hearts will chill your bones
**** your soul or so I have been told
By experiences of varried tones
If you could travel through
A mile or two in my shoes
You would lose your mind
And leave reality behind
Just like I did in a devilish bid
To try and find hope,
And a way to cope
With this life so morbid
Dealing with years of abuse
Each time I would reduce
And shelter my mind away
Blocking out the violent foray
The constant concussive ridicule
From parents with a wrathful rule
Their constant battery to my psyche
Has left me with barely any sanctity
Of mind, soul, and heart
All piles of rubble before I could start
So when I  wander yonder, I cart
Around my dead childhood
Through this broken neighbourhood
While I wear an obsidian hood
So people don't see the real me
Enough said, it would fill you with dread
Because if only you could see
The face behind the mask,
You might finally know me
In a deeper sense, my task
The method to my madness
That I am acting under duress
I might impress upon your life
What it means to go through strife
You may have done worse deeds
But you didn't have to live your life on Speed.
 Dec 2014 Greyson Fay
PhiWrit
We are all born as winners
But the world turns us to sinners
Just young humble beginners
In a world wrought in hate
A self-destructive fate
Demolishes our will to wait
So we procreate to satiate
The internalized aggression
To the state's possession
Of our life's great potential
Their media too influential
Over our minds it drills deep
Making our inner eye weep
The tears fall and begin to seep
Into our nightmares as we sleep
And see our eternal defeat
We are brought to the feet
Of our fears and anxieties
All wrought from insecurities
Towards superfluous identities
That we praise in a zealous craze
Overtaken by a materialist haze
 Dec 2014 Greyson Fay
PhiWrit
I was born of Clan Moffatt
Of Uranian-Gemini style
My wallet isn't fat
It hasn't been for a while
'Cause I have addiction
Running through my veins
A nurtured condition
The source a traumatic pain
I lost my youth and innocence
By the time I was five
Too young to make any sense
But I tried to survive
Got put on speedy medications
To try and calm my nervous mind
Diagnosed the wrong conditions
The real root they couldn't find
A little later I started abusing it
Just to feel any bit of life
Sick of being abused to ****
Tired of fighting through the strife
Of being used as a tool
And treated like a slave
Judged as a gay fool
I tried my best to behave
But being constantly persecuted
For having a Jewish heritage
Makes your perception deluded
Immense stress for my age
I lost my mind for a moment
Alright it may be several
So into psychosis I was sent
Time for a mental overhaul
Removed myself from her Den
Of torture, malice, and neglect
Thought it better back then
To move in with a schizophrenic
At least it gave me the foundation
To find myself some steady work
And to finish secondary education
Music and Love were my handiwork
They were nothingness and unity
When they became one I did embark
On a spiral journey of golden purity
Through the lower Sephiroth dark
I put my mind and spirit through hell
Consuming every psychedelic insight
Drinking deep and long of the well
And fell into a slumber of the dark night
Dreaming of Dimethyl Dreams
Delving endlessly deliriously
My consciousness bursting at the seams
The experiences changing rapidly
I dreamt until my mind broke
And into a silent abyss I went
Until by God's grace I awoke
And saw how much life I lent
To sinners and saints alike
How much love I had left
Not even enough to grab the mic
This expresses of a deeper theft
Routed in unnecessary self deprivation
Thinking always of what others need
Forgetting about my own self preservation
I thought those were my hearts to feed
All through His golden light
Did I finally return
To fight the good fight
Saved my *** from the burn
Of Hellfires and earthly desire
Baptized in His Holy Spirit
Finally in Him did I inquire
What I should do if he see fit
"Lo and behold my son,
All you need to do is look inside,
Your gifts are a burning sun."
In my heart His talent doth reside
To speak in musing tongues
To play a Lyre's healing tone
If only I could climb these wrungs
Then His talent I could hone.
 Dec 2014 Greyson Fay
PhiWrit
i was all but ready for work the next day
getting caught up in the coming foray
i had a couple of hours to prepare,
steel my mind so that i could fare
against the coming stress and mess
that i knew would put me under duress
i sat in silence, knelt and prayed
to the Lord Jesus creator of all made
for His guidance in action and will
so that night no blood would spill
the tension was high and so was I
with a man who's foolishness I can't deny

but

when you walked in it couldn't be
i was overtaken by pure serenity
towards my mind to you was drawn
we would eventually converse til dawn

we finally had a chance to stay
beside one another, a few words to say

PANG

then the tension broke
when cam started to punch
in my hand his throat I choke
he'd gone out to lunch

i left the house in an agitated haze
the trail behind felt right ablaze
but the journey to work proved fruitless
the return trip though left me in bliss

i came inside and all were asleep
So on my tip toes i did creep
into the room, pulled the curtains aside
then a little part of my heart inside
wept as my eyes fell upon your visage
under the dim light i thought it a mirage

you heard my steps upon the floor
as well as the creaking of the door
i peaked your interest with my request
to join me in the kitchen, leave the mess
i took your hand and pulled up your seat
in that moment we were pleased to meet

i pulled out a plate and grabbed my bags
of Calvin Klein read the tags
we sat across the twister table
as we told each other fables
and the depths of our minds
up our nose went the lines
we touched nothing more than our tips
of fingers, though I truly wish it were lips
your voice breathed air unto my fire
stoking the hot flames of desire

though it was a mental connection
that had started my affection
i was enamoured in your voice
to me a song that brought a choice
to pursue you for pure platonic friendship
and let my fires consume this ship
or to take your hand but a ****** white dove
as i yearn for the light and love from above

when you departed from the scene
you left me with a feeling most serene
i insisted upon your possession of a book
and from your out-stretched hand,
Your
ring
i
took.
I hope this won't scare september away.
I really can't help my heart,
when it begins to sway,
or when toward love it embark.
So I wish you to know this
Oh-Mega Miss
That what could await you,
is nothing
short
of
bliss.
Next page