My tears shall never answer my please ....  
That ,which I want
Shall always remain
Penultimate reason
I fall to my knees.....
Love .........
Forgive me ......
I know not why I do these things .
.............
I appologize that's a lie .....
I do .......
In sin I know also
I try not to ...........give in ......
I know you still love me even though I do ......
Forgive me .......
My love if I could ask of thee ..
Let me speak directly to her heart...........
All geese and geeseings disapate...
Loose any memory of Her....
Then loose your mind and continue life in misery
Get in line for your torture enternaly and know where you go there is no outcome
Your existence will only be known by you ........
Forever erased from our memory.....
.......
And to you the one who .......
Captivates me ......
Allocate me your trust and love...
I pray thee
My love I shall endure what ever need be
to show you my love only grows continually
I will always be the one who will always keep you before me
Your love is my world .....
And I love living to love you......
You are  so delicate with your affections
My fear is when you do fall in love with me ........
My tears of joy would never end .........

Thank you my King
For everything I love you always in all ways ......
And especially for letting me speak to her heart directly

Should I lie in lasciviousness
All alone and lonely
Psyche's split I sit...
Stoic  catatonic contemplating
I know I can't control me
Consoling me only feels
Like condescension
An offence cajoling apprehension...
Exacerbating    ...
The fact that the act of stating
"Can you just  listen  without psychoanalytic interjection
I'm just venting hear me then let me be !"
In my attempt to negate a pitty party
Is met like a request for intervention.......
Maddening .....
Gaslighting making me repeat things ....
Not listening...
I'm being an idiot
I already know these things
And don't give me that fat bottom lipped ,"oh I feel your pain....
You need a hug....."
Eyebrows thing....
Course I want a hug
*******
FYI not gonna lie
I know it may seem like I'm chasing a pipe dream....
But I never..........
Have been afflicted with such an addiction to someone like this before
I mean ....  
I'm complete with her
And she compliments everything.
When I'm not with her
I'm dying.
Tryin to invent new ways to help her fall in love with me ....
I know it's killing me..
Don't worry ..
At my funeral you can say
" I told you so...."
I still won't be listening
I'll be busy coming back to life to be with her again

Bittersweet love.......
Leave ..........
Babe you are killing me.....
You treat me like I'm a king
Please ?
No don't go ......
Stay ........
DONT LISTEN TO ME!

You see me .........
forgotten .....
Over Confident
Loyal and secure

Courage and chivalry
These shine through when I'm with you.....
It's what I can't see ....
Who are you with what are you doing ....
I'm tortured by my lasciviousness
I'm tearing off my skin....
I will do anything
I'm a slave to you....
If you love me then leave
Go now and don't come back ....
Go far away ......
I never wanted an open relationship
I only ever wanted you .....
I have to let you see and do whom ever you want ........
I hate you for that .....
But I love you more than that
...........
Please don't leave me ....
Please don't go...
Babe?....

I know the shallow ....
Mostly hollow part
The empty fields .....
Burst forth with pain
And misery.......
I have fallowed them away ...
External me .......
Seeing everything clearly
Is not what brings to me
Good feelings .....
It's gritty......
Duality ........
Head in the sand ....
Avoiding normality.....
Looking cheerful and
No worries....
It's all good ....
Yup yop that's me...
Fatefully yours ....
Externally

Ink ban.......
Dippin dinky donuts
Don't care where the drips land
***** coffee stained canvas
In contrast to splatter splashed crimson
Schism after schism ...........
I'm contemplatingvalot of things
Got my toes in the sand metaphorically
And trying to write poetry
on wet tissue with Red crayon.....
It's like drawing a schematic on a live moth wing,
Ampersand
all the poems
End up verbal ***** talking about
Making a video of me
Eating my heart out reciting
the unexciting recipes
I have tried and
asking how can I sell it as muck bang?

As I wander in quandary
I ponder less on what's been squandered ....
I don't want to see ...
Focused mostly on  soaking in dulcet fantasy
These pangs of sundry pains
From priorities rearranged
Seduces me to escape into
What could be
My heart grows fonder....
As I continue in thought of you
Help me.....is this my fate or destiny.......
Am I distorting reality.......
I'm really begining to wonder
Will these lessons ever lessen
Is it   obsession  that  pervert my intentions
Am I  the reprobate?
Does my wanton state
Negate my ability of keeping my head straight..........
I'm just pondering here...............
During conversations.........
My infatuation scales conversely
With my linguistic agility
Along with chemical imbalancing
Lexicon gone
Let's just say I struggle the um
To get duh
The word me say to you........
So could it be
Things you say to me
Might be rearranged
Used to fuel my campaign
Unbeknownst to me
Completely
Incongruent to what you were trying to convey
Naw.      It couldn't be
.......ERrrrr could it though........
Or how would I know ??????
Maybe I'm a smooth talking  genius
With a deep jazzy dj voice
That makes you mostly want to listen
As I spit my game
At the Same time
Im
perpetrating
Another clever deception....
Extorting cupid to do his thing
Making you fall In love with me.....
By writing the worst so called poetry the word has ever seen
Hmmmmmmm,
I'm shifting from pontificating
To exacerbating.......
Do I think these tactics and my immaturity
Will persuade you to love me....
I do ...
I think ,therefore I am,
And you are.....>
Because you are everything
And I will never be caught....
Not being in thought of you
I will live forever trying to recompense
The immense happiness you have givin me
I'll do anything ........
"C" ko mo no
You are tha Kaarrcktt one for
Me Ott Minnon
I love you Sara.......
Please talk to me

To you whom
No one could hold a candle too...
To me
You let love come through ....
You needed someone
To take your pain.....
You were my Cain
And I was Able
I loved you