I see gentle waters and silence
more dangerous than those disturb
it is often the quiet that brings out the terror
the anxiety that drowns as in anticipation
of our own despair and unknowing sorrows
even if I drift and float by the safe shores
Its wave will carry me away to the depths
even if I struggle I will eventually sink

I'm but a mere humble soldier
my heart is tied to my motherland
I fight for freedom whilst I forfeit my life
as I run upon the field of death

I do not stand alone in the smog
I do not run against my fate
for the angels guide me
I fight for my honor to which i am unworthy

I do not walk unknowingly
the all this risks I understand
for the lord ventures with me,
each and every day

If the day comes that I fall
I surrender my soul to his warm embrace
remember me not just by name
but the deeds I've done and the sacrifice I gave

I'm a soldier first and foremost
A son of the nation I was born
A friend to all peoples
A comrade of peace and order
A brother to my fellow servicemen
A fierce and honorable warrior
and a servant till the end of my breath
and of my beating heart

I was taught to obey
The god I am to worship
To the tones of the hymn I sway
To spread lies on my kinship

I devoted my life
And became His messenger
Cared little of the strife
Of families and their avengers

Women and children died
To spread a religion
Their bodies beaten and tied
To beat them into a descision

I was His
As was everything
In this world I used to remiss
Quite a merry thing

I should be an example
Of ideas and beliefs
They should not trample
I should help in times of grief

Yet I cause them
As they spread far and wide
Infidels we called them
Because they ran away to hide

Yet He always beckons
And I come to his aid
I have killed thousand; I reckon
To their graves they were laid

I feel as if I must break free
Before the final nail on my coffin
To run away and flee
Before I corrupt more of my offspring

the phantoms of the many few
who gave everything and all
for a world that's bright and new
shall never see the world we view

oh sweet blossoming rose
innocent and blooming beauty
i sing to you verses of sweet nothings
for somehow you enchanted me

lure me to your temptation
only to be plucked away
and thrown aside to wither
like some blade of grass

artist are tortured souls
manic emotions left to ink and paint
transforming pain of their mundane tormented life
into ecstatic beauty expressed so vividly
that leaves us all in speechless and awe

Deep in sleep,
The child dreams.
Free from fright,
Free of plight.
A child dreams,
Uncorrupt and forever gleams,
Deep in sleep a child dreams,
Forever pure,
Deep in sleep.

Despite your small willow frame,
You gracefully took each step,
As a mark of your humble pride,
Your sweet and gentle face held a smile,
That only heavens angels could dare mimic,
Your shimmering blue eyes glistened,
Like two shorelines meeting at the edge of a cliff,
Glimmering blues and teals,
Your Reddened cheeks and the hint of blush,
Yet that sad longing eyes gave away,
Like the winter bitter wind you long to be free of its cold.

what do we have left for ourselves
but to do good upon others and to ourselves
and to strive to be better
even if we must suffer
in silence and solitude
must we hurt ourselves further
must we torture ourselves and be disgusted
upon a cycle of toxicity we present ourselves with

Tired and weary this sentinel be
yet defiant he stands with arms drawn
unwavering spirit that hold him still
as the blood the drips and boils

it shall not be the end till he folds
the beats of his heart resound loud
as the thunder of the hallow skies
noble be his duty till the final relief

striving till the final strength fades
death may come and steal him now
yet never his glory neither his honor
as he who hold the helm against the odds

he has sowed his seed to this free land
to which he toiled its grand fertile soil
that no tyrant invader may trample
where no importer may reap its wealth

vanguards of the deep and high
your name shall echo clear
your acts shall ring out to history
legacy eternal forever shall be told

leave not a rose in my grave
need not sing my praise and memory
tributes mean nothing to the dead
so save your tears for i am gone
for time has devoured me

You were never really mine yet
I wished and hope you were
I cared so much to pretend
That we were more than just this

I played along with this thought
That it coiled my mind and into madness
Thinking that I had a chance
To hold you more than anyone can

That you felt the same as I did
And I often forget as always
That we will just be this
And nothing more, nothing after

can I not be true to myself
without breaking apart
can I genuinely smile
without feeling so empty
why can't I just be normal
like everyone around me

For her I lust
Love left unrequited
Tortured, I must;
Love that left me delighted

It started light, optimistic
Of what could've been
But alas it was a fight not altruistic
And left me in loathing sin

A beast inside was snarling
A familiar buzz, darling
A sad pause, gnarling
Alas, false, strange star thing

The thoughts are prodding within my mind
Constantly attacking.
Desiring.
Wishing.
I try not to think about it,
But my mind just can't get enough of it
My mind always seems to wonder towards the same thing...
Over and over again, a cycle of endless thoughts.
Feeling the feelings welling up
Knowing that i am unable to escape

Obsession.
It feels as though i am obsessed with it.
My fingers tingle, almost begging for more
Like a drug, i take my thoughts
And i allow them to overtake me
For a moment, it can almost be euphoria
Filled with regret and pain, but also happiness and buzzing

Trying to stop these thoughts
Trying to stop them from entering my head
Trying to let go of that obsession

Can one be obsessed with multiple things at once?
With multiple thoughts and feelings, unable to let go
To quit them like cold turkey.

Money does not bound me to quit
Its all in my head...
Its not an addiction like the drugs you buy
I don't go to someone else to strive for it
To bargain and beg for more
It feels different than that

The feelings can be so overwhelming
Only knowing those feelings in that moment
Wanting it back, even listening
Because for a moment...
The mind didn't drift.
It only wanted its obsession
It was completely focused on that obsession

I could be obsessed with sadness
Feeling the water drifting down my face
Thinking of the things happening in my life
Addicted to the sting of pain it gives me
Addicted to almost wanting to be alone
Addicted to the way the muscles on my face moving down, the smile almost hurting my face

I could be obsessed with joy
Feeling the laughter erupting from my mouth
Making hard to breath, an almost sweet pain coming over my chest
My heart rushing
My head numb from no air
And then able to calm down,
Obsessed with the feeling that happened in a moment
When nothing was in my mind but that joy

I could be obsessed with anger
Feeling the warm, boiling feeling overcome me
Allowing it to burst out
Raising my voice so that i know others can hear me
The look on their faces when i know they are listening
Because it seems like no one is listening unless i raise my voice and let it all out
It can be addicting, allowing that feeling to overtake you

It might be easier if i was obsessed with an object...
Then maybe then...
I could let it drop.
Let go of my obsession.
Allowing it to break into a million pieces.
Feeling all the negative feelings at once, causing me to fall onto the ground, my mind regretting it
My mind wanting it back so bad my heart aches
And then relieve can come over me
Maybe it will take a long time for relieve to come,
Or I would become 'Obsessed' with that feeling

Is it possible to be obsessed with a person?
Or perhaps i am obsessed with the feelings that come with them?
Feeling the tingling and the warmth when they are nearby
Feeling my breath hitch when i hear their voice
Addicted to those feelings
That desire can overtake someone so easily
The desire to be around that person
Obsessed with their everything
It can be as quick as the snapping of the fingers
Addiction to the obsession inevitable
One moment you are normal and like them...
And the next moment, obsession can overtake you

Obsession can almost be a breaking point
Our minds are constantly buzzing
Absorbing new information
But we can come to that point...
When our minds 'break' and we become addicted
When we become obsessed,
And desire nothing else but that feeling that we are obsessed with

He stood eyes transfixed upon the hill,
The world below gave him no mind
As he smiled his last and let his heart melt,
The shadows engulfed his weeping eyes.

The flap of a birds’ wing echoed
In the valley below
Then went silent as the sun
Bid the world good night.

He had once stood there with a smile,
His name was hero but now in death
He’s unremembered, all denied
And the snow flakes that fall
Mark his grave alone.

He who once had a name,
Now his tombstone unknown.

to the light that shines now lost
to the life that once lived at a cost
to the wine that sobers the heart

Don't you harden your heart,
don't you walk away,
Don't you hide from the sins you made,
Cause we're here too help you change

Don't you act like your strong,
Don't you act like you care nothing at all,
We are here to hold onto you,
so don't you dare let go

Cause when the storm rages and you lose all control,
We are here if you need a home
so take my hand it won't be too long

Such youthful beauty that lies awake
In smiles that hide such a frail pale heart
Grows a shadow around a glowing radiant face
Weary gentle golden eyes knows no escape

Many questions have been eagerly ask
Yet answers come so slow to even pass
Misty country fields and wondrous night sky
As crackling ember ashes scattering light

Oh my tender kind simple fellows
Such hearts are glaze and mellow
Moonbeams rays touches the darken house
Serene and silent as a church mouse

Painted portraits with palettes of black and blue
Starry is the nights that only few have viewed
To stay awake with life so endlessly grey
Knowing well the world is a chaotic fray

Dreamers tear their mournful souls away
Lover’s passions fades like summers day
Swirling winds flow through the grassy plains
Twinkling stars that kisses my sorrowful pain

I'm but a mere humble soldier
my heart is tied to my motherland
I fight for freedom whilst I forfeit my life
as I run upon the field of death

I do not stand alone in the smog
I do not run against my fate
for the angels guide me
I fight for my honor to which i am unworthy

I do not walk unknowingly
the all this risks I understand
for the lord ventures with me,
each and every day

If the day comes that I fall
I surrender my soul to his warm embrace
remember me not just by name
but the deeds I've done and the sacrifice I gave

I'm a soldier first and foremost
A son of the nation I was born
A friend to all peoples
A comrade of peace and order
A brother to my fellow servicemen
A fierce and honorable warrior
and a servant till the end of my breath
and of my beating heart

I'm scared of my demons.
To me they are heathens,
I feel them breathing,
Their cold hearts beating,
The horrible screeching,
Is nothing but my dreaming,

Yet they are fallen angels,
They fell from heavens grace,
We are no different from them,
They too have a story to tell.

tie yourself with a rope
life brings broken hope
always little open scope
such painful wounds I cope

Believe me when I say ‘You are alone’
I feel the shivering cold in my bone
Express your feelings within my own

Full of debt
Never properly slept
Always sadly wept
Wish I had something
Yet stolen treasures that once kept
I am unsuccessful, a failure... I am ******

You'll push me to continue the strife
While you'll steal the air i breath
And use it for your own little greed
You'll strangle and choke me till i'm white
Praying to persist for both your peace

You'll personally take me to my grave
Just you watch as i fade
You may say we're blood
But the thought just makes my blood boil

o sweet cold embrace of the abyss
lovely is your darkening kiss
you oblivion paradise always on my mind,
Body cold and stiff, now my pain I've left behind
eternal slumber I wait your sing call

I'm escaping all of the harm
And giving myself to you
so please accept me with open arms

Dream peaceful dreams
My love, my sweet
I'll be there waiting for you

Where gentle wind blows
At the golden lake
In sunlight flowers bloom
And in moonlight they rest

Dream good dreams
My love, my sweet
I shall watch over you

May this melody, in your heart
Even when we are forced to be apart
Live on as though I've passed

Remember days when the world was our friend and our home
Trust in our family was all we had known
But as fate has twists and turns
And new truths are revealed
Know the love that we shared was all real
Even if it was just me

Remember days when our innocence made the world pure
Memories giving me strength to endure
And as our fate twists and turns
And new truths are now revealed
Go on be safe take care
away from storms that cloud over
remember me even if others forget

childish minds that still linger
peaceful times where hope rings
they still live like flaming tinder
wandering eyes that look to the light
cherish this simple things

I've watch her in this pedestal stand,
And touching her has bless my hand,
Did my heart loved with bliss till now?

I swear to heaven for with my sight,
I had never known beauty till tonight,
Temptations of the flesh, a blessed sin.

Ecstasy upon such dreams I've dreamt,
Oh fruit of Eden such luring sweet scent,
How you wisp my words away...

What be made from flesh and bone?
Fallen ray like mindless drone.
Where body of built, be turned to rot,
By silent men of puppeteer's plot.
When to act and never from string?
To rise, and smell, the fragrance of spring.
How such life be was, to a stagnant of tale?
Blinded and used, manipulated and pale.

Don't you harden your heart,
don't you walk away,
Don't you hide from the sins you made,
Cause we're here too help you change

Don't you act like your strong,
Don't you act like you care nothing at all,
We are here to hold onto you,
so don't you dare let go

Cause when the storm rages and you lose all control,
We are here if you need a home
so take my hand it won't be too long

you are young
you have so much
so much in time given
you have one life
as well as one death
it would be best
to have a purpose
to put meaning in it
as you wander along
alone or with company
do not waste it in the rain

dead stars have no ghost
only to those who bear its memory

her radiant smile is to be desired
she makes me soar to her warm embrace
that i would  soon become another Icarus

hear the siren calls that shout from a woman's soul
she screams, she yells that she is here, standing firm,
she is not merely a woman but a fighter, a revolutionary,
her undying valor matches her fiery delicate beauty,
her heart filled with passion no matter the burden.

songs she sang with grace and an enduring voice,
that tremors and shakes the old orders of the world,
this mad desire, this stumbling, ceaseless search,
that she's the guiding wheel where man is at fault,
resiliently unwavering patient through the ages

she is not merely a servant, nor mouse to be played,
she is a valiant fighter who hides her struggles,
she acts alone but never quenched neither silenced,
she is armed with dignity and the will to carry it alone,
struggling with ceaseless ridicule and abused for change

her soul fights against nature, realizing the absurdity,
to be liberated never to be numbed and content,
embers the light the fires of her harden soul,
a model of modesty and immortalize sacrifice,
to give and lose everything except her ideals.

she who holds her red banner proudly towering high,
defined not by her looks but her action as a woman,
who toils, sweats and bleeds like men in any field,
till death she shall raise her fist in defiance,
A woman like that is not ashamed to die.

"Come, come!"
it calls to me,
as it stands there
in the middle of the sea

Constant and steady
That radiant Light
I know I'll be safe
If I get there 'fore night

A beacon of hope
my soul there will rest
I know, though, to get there
is the real test

Still it calls to me,
"Come, come!
Leave your family
Leave all you've known."

"I want to come!"
my heart replies,
"but there is no boat
I cannot fly."

"Who needs wings
or man-made things
when what's inside
will cause the glide?"

No longer doubting
taking the first step
Can be the most challenging
So, I gulp a deep breath

Closing my eyes
I plunge into the deep
Except instead of plunging
Solidness meets my feet

Eyes open wide
As I look below
My feet on the water
Ahead the Light glows

Tender and sweet
With a tease of a smile
It tells me the journey
May take quite a while

I don't care
With windswept hair
Instead of despair
I will go there

To be with the Light
I'll Go through the flight
With happiness and ease
As I stroll with the breeze

I have nothing to lose
So, I'll take of my shoes
Brush out knots with sea comb
And love the journey of ocean foam

i have nothing to write
for i have nothing to say
yet i stay awake in the night
for my mind is cluttered
with unclear verses anyway

We bore heavy chains.
Cast from pride and denial and fear,
We trudged across a landscape of our own tears.
We trampled underfoot,
All who might have stood.
We curse our laughing, decadent masters,
Taunting, cruel masters,
Whose whips strip raw skin from our bleeding backs.
We can’t look at them,
We’ve never seen them.
Backs to us,
Our skin has been stripped away,
A new flesh appears underneath.
That of the masters.
We’ve been lashing ourselves inside.
We are the true masters.
But we can’t see that,
Because we’re not allowed to look.

as the cry of victory has surpassed,
After the fog of battle has lifted from the grass,
Men of different armies and ranks,
Lay lifeless near a ****** river bank,
Those who still refuse too die,
Screams and moans are their last cry,
Oh youth who gave your breathe of life,
For peace is not a cheap price.

bright light that is wisdom and knowledge
that illuminates the dark hands
of those who wish no good to his fellow man

and with the honorable watchers
whose virtue and principle must
at the ready with discipline and firmness
slay that beast which is corrupted in shadow

yet we have no watchers nor beacons of light
so the dark twisted hands of both left and right
come to envelope us in a ceaseless cold dark night

Silently I pray
To a God
That assures me
As he is Silent

Sometimes holding you is harder than letting go,
Sometimes watching you  is better than talking to you,
Sometimes it's better that we never took pictures to show,
Sometimes I should have been more realistic as I grew,
Sometimes it's fine to sit apart from you than by your side,
Sometimes I still wonder why and how we met up anyway,
Sometimes I think I loved you in the past like a sweet cyanide,
Sometimes it's better we burn the memories we had that day,

I would rather be on my lonesome watching the sky turn gray,
I won't shed a tear for what I lost nor rejoice for what I gain,
Cause I know I loved you but that was just another yesterday.

are we but lonely dreamers
drifting upon a sea of twilight stars
not knowing when to wake

We live in such a beautiful world and yet... we regret it.
We create our own little world to keep us hidden from reality.
Our own reality against the world's reality is very different.
We do this to hide the horrifying truth that this beautiful world of ours bear.

The way Humanity deals with loss, is to stop trying at all
The way animals deal with loss, is to stop trying at all.
That response is true through out the universe
its simple genetic code telling us to act that way,
but the thing that separates humans from animals is that we have people around us.
people that don't want to see you sad
people that always look to the light when your stuck in the dark.
Darkness consumes all hope, but people carry light wherever they go
through the good and bad, the ups and downs
always remember that strangers are friends you haven't met yet
friends are the guiding lamp at night,
and never falter to follow when you go into the dark.

many cannot remember that this fields use to hold
none can hear the million souls echo from beyond
that they who were brave and frighten shared terror unfold

Wait for me,
and I'll come back!
Wait with all you've got!
Wait, be patient and I shall return to your loving arms embrace
Wait, be patient till I may kiss your warm lips again,
wait, be patient no goodbyes and farewell tears,
Wait, for I have kept you close and your love protects,
Wait, until i sing to you once again my love,
Wait for me as I kiss your hand before I go,
Wait, until then remember our fondest memory.

Wait when cheerless yellow rain whispers that you need not.
wait as the leaves fall and flower withers,
wait even as the sky darkens and the moon changes,
wait as the dawn breaks the cold night sky,
Wait when the snow swirls fast, and the bitter freeze loses your warmth,
wait when the sun blazes hot,
wait even if the seasons change and I am not there,
wait for me though you cannot hear my voice,
wait even if we are miles apart in distant lands,
In foreign frontiers and unknown fronts,
wait for me and so we may dance again,
wait when long days are past and others have forgot.

Wait when from the distant place, word does not arrive.
Wait, when all those you face know I'm not alive.
Wait for me, and I'll come back!
Wait for me, don't fret!
When they tell you there's no doubt that it's time to forget,
Be strong have fate for I shall be back,
Wait and keep me in your thoughts for you are on mine,
Even when those dearest to me tell you I am gone and past.
As your eyes swell to tears from their words,
Even if it shatter your heart to doubt if I am still alive,
Even when my nearest give up, claiming it's been too long.
Even if they honor my name and what little I left behind,
Let's raise a glass of bitter sweet wine, to the friend who's passed into glory -  But wait!

Don't share that drink! Wait until the last!
Wait for me and I'll come back, Cheating every fate,
Deciding when to live and past,
Enduring the odds and evading deaths grasp.
Through the anguish and slaughter of the field,
Though my body suffers and tires my soul cries to survive,
For you are waiting for me to come back,
Broken and scarred I shall return to you,
Wait until i can hold your soft soothing hands once more.
They who had lost hope shall be in shock,
"A nice stroke of luck!" they'll say,
those that could not wait.

Only they will never know how amid the strife,
Amid those who now lay in anguish lost and scattered,
by waiting for me, my dear,
and you saved my life,
You have brought peace to my soul.
But the two of us will know,
How you got me home.
Only you knew how to wait,
it was you alone.

I remember walking by
The humid summer's fireflies
From whence they came well I know not
As I chased them round the little hut

I saw the moon and heard the wolf's howl
For how it made my heart so proud
With lightning feet, they carried my way
Through paths and grass, by night and day

Once I reached for the morning star
Its  beams that keeps at bay the dark
And tried to catch the West wind's song
But my lips can't hold the sound for long
In June I jumped over cliffs and fells

And drank thirsty from the cooling wells
Which brought life and strength to burning throat
The life-giving stream I crave most
I climbed the pine tree I called friend

And spent the day up there to no end
The cones they stuck to my hair and clothes
Such was the joy I felt those days
When nature was at its best in every way

Now I come home while holding a child
I peered in the lawn and saw no pine
Nor did I hear the grey wolf's cry
The song of wind I fear has died

I drank from a bottle and there I saw
Why my throat has always felt raw
The difference between this and what once I knew
Is the purity of the mountain dew

I sat on the grass and felt life
And as if like a child from dark to light
I clung to it and felt my eyes moister
For there she was, the evergreen mother

I looked to the sky and saw the sun
And gazed at the face of my smiling son
When was it that I craved the poison of smoke
Of dangerous liquor that deprives me of hope

When was it that I forgot the moon and the call of the wild?
When was it that I desired acceptance and destroyed  green life?
When was it that I once ran through the glorious wood?
When was it that I threw away wastes of my food?

The rain, it fell so soothing from my eyes
I wipe it with a trembling hand and rise
And hugged my child and whispered with a sigh
"Son, would you like to see the fireflies?"

in the sweetness of the morning air
and the light that touches the garden
i look at you as your calm smile
says all the words that need to be said

you saw her smile glow so bright
you stare in such daze and delight
my heart that sings a beat aloud:
you lover her, you do
as she passes among the crowd
fills your soul with such blaze
such a sight to be praised
yet it's not enough, it was never enough.
you are allowed to watch her go
to see her off with the shadows alone
this are but illusions a trick of the mind,
as the sun devoured her away
to count the constellations
upon her wandering eyes
as they slowly fade out in a single day
for the tragedy was that
you were too late
for you have lost her

They used to laugh, they used to play.
Now they cry, wasting the day.
They had friends that supported them, family that loved them.
Now that memory is lost, like a single mountain gem.

How they yearn for laughter, how they beg for fun.
But they only get work that is never done.
How they wish to be free again, to feel the sun on their skin.
But that memory’s gone, like a leaf in the wind.

They work all day, and they work all night.
Always wishing that they could take flight.
Their memories were distant, so close yet so far.
But that’s how things were, and it’s how things are.

I stand outside,
Cold in the rain,
Who to should I confide,
My bitter pain.

It stings like a menace,
But I'll suffer this bit longer,
Even though it seems endless,
For I must get stronger.

The rain slips down my face,
As I feel my loss,
I wish for embrace,
Despite our bitter cause.

I look into the glass,
And see my anguish,
Time has passed so fast,
I just want to vanish.

I want you now,
The rain mimics my tears.
Now and forever,
I hold you very dear.

Though the fire’s gone cold
the stories we have told
will never grow old

I look down
There they are
The dying of the town
The wounds that have left a scar

As I walk past
The dying moan
They long for their time to have passed
For them to have flown

I walk through the injured
One man grabs my leg
Here in the dead of winter
I shiver

He is only a boy
Whom body has been blown
He is a broken toy
Left to moan

I crouch down
His eyes are glazed
The dying of this town
Will never be praised

"Mum."
Is what they say
Crying out for there families
In this day so grey

"I am here."
He is too badly damaged
The boys whom I used to endear
Boys once so fragile

They are toys of war
Crying out for there mothers
They are on deaths door
Looking for their mothers

Tears leak from my eyes
As I look upon his passing
The strength gone from his eyes
In every passing

Standing up
The boy is dead
His last words a mumble
For his mother he pled

I want to flee
But if life was so nice only
As the sun sets among the trees
I realize that Reality Is so Lonely