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317 · Oct 2014
The Mask
GailForceWinds Oct 2014
I wore the mask
For a very long time
Hiding behind it,  my armour
To shield me from the world
No one could hurt me
But you
Yes, you
Saw through the mask
The me who was always there
A  strong, confident, intelligent, beautiful woman
But I was afraid, scared, lonely and tired
The mask eventually started to crack away
Pieces falling to the ground slowly, until the mask was gone
Revealing the rawness I felt
I could no longer hide.....
I see you now
After years of self-torture  and endless drama
I now emerge the woman you once saw
I was always there
I no longer need the mask....
As long as I never again, pick up the flask
315 · Feb 2015
Work Harder
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
Life is too short
To be sitting behind a desk
Time keeps moving faster
Life’s becoming a mess

What did you do for the last thirty years?
Sit at my desk, eyes full of tears

All the young people
Have no idea
They have their sights on job and career

Until that day they finally wake up
Looking down a flight of stairs
Stairs to nowhere
They just keep going down
Until there is nothing around

Why can’t we enjoy our time on this earth?
Without the lies of job and career we’ve been told from birth

I really don’t want to sit and pout
But this desk work is killing me
I’d rather have the gout

Work hard and you shall have…
Have what?
314 · Apr 2015
Let me die
GailForceWinds Apr 2015
Stick a knife in my heart
Blood is dripping from my eyes
Every time I think of you
I want to lie down and die
314 · Jan 2015
Who are you?
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
You came out of nowhere
It was a rainy Sunday
You made me feel like a princess
Just for the day

You talked of a future
Although we’ve never met
A date was made
We even made a silly bet

It was all cute and cuddly, I couldn’t get enough
A lot of sweet nothings, fun fluffy stuff

We had a rapport
Conversation was great
Little did I know
It would end up in hate

You said you couldn’t wait to meet me
The very next day
So you can imagine my surprise
When you just went away

The last text from you was a simple “sorry”
What does that even mean?
Was it all a big joke to you?
I just want to scream

So today is the day
Our big date was planned for
But you are not real
I’m just standing here staring at the floor

Who are you?
314 · Jan 2015
Now she's your wife
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I could not think
My mind was gush
When the hell did it turn to mush?

I still think about you
And it hurts like a knife
Cutting through my heart
Now she’s your wife

I thought I was over you
But when I found out
I cried and cried
Walked around with a pout

I really should know better
And give up on love
How can I be so stupid?
Still looking for that white dove

You are taken
And I am not
My brain’s in a tight, gripping knot

Till death do us part
I’m sure that’s what you said
I’m just going to crawl back into bed

And Stay there…
No one will care
314 · Jan 2015
Settle for Less
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Am I selling my soul
For a little attention
Still looking for love
Or someone with a pension

I don’t know anymore
I’m tired and confused
This life of mine
Leaves me less than amused

I want to do right
Not settle for less
But isn’t less becoming my best?

I have to settle
I don’t know what else to do
Everyone does it
Don’t you?
313 · Apr 2015
Vanity
GailForceWinds Apr 2015
Our time on this earth is too short
To let vanity steal our
Peace
Happiness
Love

Embrace yourself and enjoy today
That’s all we have
Don’t let the mirror take it away
312 · Jan 2015
First Kiss
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I’ll never forget my very first kiss
It was better than ice cream, it was total bliss

When his lips touched mine
I didn’t know what to do
They were soft and gentle
Like a soft mist of dew

I felt kind of funny
A little bit giddy
Then I felt his tongue
My head got a bit dizzy

It felt like an hour, no more like a day
That his tongue was in my mouth
Wanting to play

He’s obviously comfortable and has done this before
I don’t want to seem awkward
or like a random cheap *****

It’s only a kiss
I keep telling myself
Am I enjoying it, I don’t know
I feel like a character in a game show

It finally ended
Our mouths did unlock
He looked at me
I was overwhelmed with shock

He must have seen the look in my eyes
He grinned and then to my surprise
He kissed my cheek and took my hand
I felt like a princess in Disney Land
311 · Dec 2014
Over You
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
Walking the path
Like any other day
How beautiful the sky
A great day to play
The river glistening in the morning sun
Birds are singing for everyone
It was a perfect morning
As I breathed in the dew
Not a worry in the world
I'm finally over you
311 · Jan 2015
Broken Heart
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Darkness surrounds me
Like a room filled with black smoke
I cannot see, I cannot breathe
Did I die?
I don't feel alive
I feel no emotion
Neither happy or sad
I no longer feel pain
I no longer feel bad
What's happened to me
I've lost my soul
I can't crawl out
Of this deep dark hole
I'm still and lifeless
Just make my brain stop
There is nothing left of me
Except a broken heart
311 · Dec 2014
Find some Cheer
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
It's once again that time of year
Filled with joy and holiday cheer
Then why are there tears in my eyes
What on earth makes me want to cry?
Even worse, pray to die...
I feel no cheer inside my head
I can't drag my body out of my bed
People so happy
Smiling all through the day
I don't have clue what to say
I don't have an answer why I'm so sad
Acquaintances tell me it can't be that bad
I pull down the shades
And hide in my room
I don't want to spoil their cheer with my gloom
I'm all alone, once again
No one will notice
Not one single friend
I hide under the covers
And wait for the New Year
Maybe then, I'll find my cheer
310 · Oct 2014
Waves
GailForceWinds Oct 2014
I lay in the darkness...
naked
waves rolling up from the sea
I feel the mist from the salty water
as I look to the stars for answers
They light up the sky, a million white lights on a black canvas
How can I find love, if I do not love myself...
How can I feel, if I am numb...
The waves start to roll slowly and gently over my body, touching my inner soul
My answer from the universe....
If anything is to change, it has to start with me
310 · Jan 2015
Another Day
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Here I go again
Another Monday
She's not my friend
Another day
Another week
Into the future I'd like to peak
What good would it do, it's always the same
Depression and confusion take over my brain
I go through the motions
A smile on my face
It's only a game
It leaves such distaste
But I do it again and again
Waiting for the next day
Waiting for the pain to end
310 · Feb 2015
Lost Myself
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
Where did I go
What happened to me
I’m not the same
Since the day you went free

I didn’t cry
I didn’t whine
I said I was perfectly fine

I’m not fine
I’ve somehow lost it all
My mind
My body
My soul

How do I get up from this fall

I look down at the ring still on my finger
Wondering how long this feeling will linger

I need to move on
But for some reason I cannot
I think of you always, I miss you a lot

Where do I go from here
Someone tell me what to do
I no longer want to be in love with you
310 · Feb 2015
A Son's Love
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
The greatest love
Is that of my Tommy
He loves me unconditionally
And still calls me mommy

The terrible twos were not so bad
Neither were threes, fours and fives
He was my baby then
He’ll be my baby forever

At seventeen, I look into his eyes
I see such wonder and surprise
I love my son and he loves me
How blessed can one mom be?
308 · Mar 2015
Work to Die
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
We work, we die
I look to the clouds and cry
I only long for peace and joy
They are nowhere in site
So what’s my next ploy?

I really don’t ask for much
All my plans are turning to mush
Doom and gloom is all I see
No knight in shining armor to come rescue me

I made my choices
Not all good ones I admit
But I’ve been trying so hard
I haven’t yet quit

So why is life so unfair?
Almost too much to bear
On foot in front of the other
And here I go again
Hoping for something wonderful
Around the next bend
308 · Feb 2015
My Choice
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I felt bad today
Enough to almost throw my life away

In one split second the decision was made
To wait it out, just one more day

I wait for these feelings to go away
I forgot how to be happy, forgot how to play

Today I woke up
Happy with my choice
Glad I didn't listen to my inner voice

I thank the Lord i made it one more day
I know now I can do this,  I'll be ok
308 · Feb 2015
A Bird's Song
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
Soaring through the sky
Up high in the clouds
How I love to fly
I feel so **** proud

I can fly upside down
One eye shut
I can swoop down
Pluck that buttercup

It’s so great to be free
It’s so great to be me

I fly all around
Not a care in the world
Fly through the air, annoy the poor squirrels

When it’s time to eat
I go to the special tree
It’s filled with seeds
All different kinds, just for me

How lucky I am
As I rest in my nest
Life is so free
It’s great to be me
307 · Jan 2015
Let Life Begin Again
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
He sits on the bench
And for the very first time
Feels peaceful and tranquil
Yet he doesn’t have a dime

He lost his family and his home
In the blaze of a fire
He’s now all alone, and had lost all desire

Desire to rebuild a life once again
He lost his wife and baby
And he’s lost all his friends

He mourns for his wife, and his baby girl
That has left him in a bottle on this bench to hurl

It’s time to crawl out
Of the bottle of gin
He still has a full life ahead
If he’d only begin…
307 · Nov 2014
Goodbye Darling
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
I woke up this morning with a smile and some hope
Until you showed up, all hopped up on dope
You said you would never do it again
But here you are, messed up before 10
You make me sad
You make me cry
But I stay with you, I ask myself why
I can't help you
Dear Lord I've tried,
It kills me to see you, full of promises, no pride
I closed the door, told you to go away
I'm not giving up my hope, not again today
*Goodbye darling ...
306 · Aug 2015
sad
GailForceWinds Aug 2015
sad
All I wish
Is to laugh till I cry
I can't get past crying
Since you said goodbye

We had it all
I threw it away
No chance for us
No time to play

I'll stay in bed
And sleep the day away
My dreams are my reality
That's where I will stay
305 · Nov 2014
Your Touch
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
The human touch is a powerful thing
It can wake the dead
It can make the birds sing
When you took me in your arms, and danced with me
I felt your powerful spell
I didn't want to be set free
Then the song ended
I didn't want to let go
But you walked away
How did  you not know?
305 · Jan 2015
Forever Changed
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
She sat at her computer
Waiting for her food
Where is the Pizza guy?
She’s no longer amused

Then it came
A knock on the door
She ran to open it
Skating across the floor

It wasn’t the Pizza guy
He was no one she knew
She had no idea what she should do

He forced himself into the room
She suddenly felt filled with gloom
He forced her down onto the bed
Took the pillow and covered her head

She was waking up in the emergency room
The Pizza guy found her, naked and bruised

She knew she was *****
Didn’t know what to do
Her life had been changed forever
That much she knew
305 · Jan 2015
Despair
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Despair has been my only friend
She visits me again and again
This relationship we have
Has to come to an end
I’m tired and worn
“I’ll make her go away”, this I have sworn
But she is so real
So close and familiar
Without her, how will I survive?
I don’t know, but it’s time to say goodbye
304 · Jan 2015
Far away and Peaceful
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Take me away
To that special place
From the everyday, crazy city pace

Up to the mountains
The sky is so blue
Blustering clouds
A beautiful hue

Not a sound can be heard
Except maybe a bird
The silence is peaceful, serenity abound
No human beings anywhere to be found
No words need to be spoken
In this place so unbroken

Take me there
To the sweet clean air
I don’t want to go back
To that crazy rat pack
304 · Oct 2014
The Rose Petal
GailForceWinds Oct 2014
The wind blew gently through my window, soft and cool on a hot summer day... a few raindrops fell against the ground, enough to make the air steamy...

I slid into my white satin and lace nightgown and crawled under my red satin sheets, ready for a good nights rest...

I heard footsteps coming toward the bedroom door... The door was not locked, but I did not feel fear or anxiety... I felt a warm calm come over me, a peaceful feeling I can not explain...

Above me stood a beautiful man... dressed in a white tux, carrying a dozen red roses... I wasn't scared, but confused... where did he come from, who was he? He leaned over and kissed my cheek tenderly... he laid the roses down by my side and gently stroked my hair. He told me everything was going to be ok, that the time has come, I was ready to meet my soulmate... I wanted him, not some soulmate! He whispered in my ear to be patient and have faith, and more would be revealed... he then turned and walked out the door... I couldn't move, I was paralyzed...

I awoke to the sound of the alarm clock at 5am... had it only been a dream? was this man not real?

I pulled back the covers, still in wonder, then I saw the red rose petal...

I lie there smiling for a long time, holding the rose petal tight in my hands....
303 · Dec 2014
Peaceful Night
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
The tree was decorated
so shinny and full
lights sparkled brightly
it was quite beautiful
Pine scent aroma filled the air
no one seemed to have a care
It was Christmas night
The children were tucked in tight
milk and cookies by the fire
the radio played songs sung by a choir
everything was peaceful
in my tiny home
even the dog smiled, nibbling his bone
303 · Jan 2015
Too Far Gone
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
You ***** *******
You played me like a fool
I didn’t even notice
You played by no rules

Get what you want
Whatever it takes
Broken hearts along the way

You had me believing
You loved me so
How can you just pick up and go

I cried myself dry
Not a tear left to be found
As I sit here, just a lump on the ground

Step over my carcass
I’m just about dead
All I need is one good kick in the head

Do it already
I cannot go on
This time I mean it
I’m way too far gone
302 · Jan 2015
Winter Blues
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Winter blues
What to do
I need to be
By the sea
Breathing in the warm salty air
This cold is overwhelming, it's everywhere
Take me away
I'm ready today
Where the sand is hot
The water's turquoise and blue
Far far away where I won't think of you
Somehow I'll get there
Get out of this place
Images of you
I need to erase
Until then I will sit alone by the fire
Dreaming of my lifelong desire
Happy and free
Warm and safe
How I long to be at that special place
302 · Apr 2015
My Special Place
GailForceWinds Apr 2015
The beach is my special place
Where all my troubles disappear
From my toes to the depths of my heart
All the bad turns to dust in the air

I see the waves wash up on the sand
Gaze for miles without seeing land
It’s amazing the beauty and power of the sea
I watch and marvel as peace flows over me
301 · Mar 2015
Hold on to your Dreams
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
Let go of your fears and go after your dreams
No matter how impossible it may seem

If you really want something bad enough
Stand tall and hold on tough

Life seems so hard, but don’t fret my friend
Your dream may be right around the next bend
300 · Jul 2015
Life can be
GailForceWinds Jul 2015
Life can be good
Life can be great
Put your trust in the Lord
And get rid of the hate
299 · Feb 2015
Slow my roll
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I think I’ll take a break
A nap would be nice
A nice cold drink
Filled with frosty ice

But I have to work
It’s going to be a long day
What I go through to collect my small pay

I want to be free
To live and let live
I’m all about love, I’m ready to give

The work is a struggle
Day after day
It keeps getting in my way

In the way of my serenity
My peace and happiness too
I feel lonely at times
I feel alone and blue

So what do I do?
I guess I’ll leave this place
I really don’t want to keep up with this pace

Time to slow my roll, and move on
299 · Mar 2015
Day Dream
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
I keep waking up every day
To come to work just to collect my pay

I don’t even know if I like what I do
I feel like I’m better off home with the flu

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to do something you love?
Write a book, feed a dove

Walk on the beach
Sand in your toes
Salty sea air
Tickling your nose

It really is such a lovely daydream
Don’t wake me up, cause I just might scream
298 · Dec 2014
Sober
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
Yes I'm grateful I can't drink
First time in my life I can honestly think
I've drank way more than my share
It was just one big scare after scare
I had only two choices left
Put down the bottle
Or face death
I guess I wasn't ready to die
I'm still here
with no want for that glass of cheer
my life might not be perfect
But I cannot complain
I have a new freedom
I'm happy again !
297 · Jan 2015
Inspired to Write
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
What inspires me to write?
I really don’t know
I wake in the morning
And away my pen goes
So many things
To get out of my head
I start writing
Before I get out of bed
Will I ever stop?
Maybe some day
Not anytime soon
I have too much to say
296 · Mar 2015
Keep Going
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
Is it time to slit my wrists?
Or do I hang in there one more day
Until this feeling goes away?

The knife is sharp and ready to go
But am I ready to make it so

I need to remember the joy in my life
Stop my whining, put down the knife

Every moment brings something new
The sun shining bright, the morning dew

I’ll be thankful today
At this moment in time
Pretending for now that everything’s fine
296 · Feb 2015
Too old?
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
Is life only for the young?
Are they the only ones who get to have fun?

What about us over forty bunch?
Are we supposed be happy having jello for lunch?

I don't feel old
Yet the box I check does
What do I believe
Should I give up on love?

Who cares about the number
Apparently I do
Or I wouldn't be writing this
How old are you?
294 · Dec 2014
My Bottom
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
You know you need to change
But how do you start?
It has to come straight from the heart
No one can tell you what to do
It has to come from within you
Sometimes it takes life or death
When it’s hard to even take a breath
The pain was so great
I was confused
I just knew there was something I had to do
I picked up the phone
And my journey began
I called out for help, when I could have ran
Thank God for that day
That call saved my life
I picked up the phone, instead of the knife
We all have a choice
To climb out of the hole or stay in the pain
Pick up the phone, you have everything to gain
294 · May 2015
That's what they say
GailForceWinds May 2015
She’s always happy
That’s what they say
She’s always smiling
That’s what they say
She never gets angry
That’s what they say
She’s full of energy
That’s what they say
She’ll do anything for you
That’s what they say
She’ll lend you money
That’s what they say

As she lies in the bathtub
Water crimson red
No smile on her face
No breath of life left in her body

What do you think they’ll say?
294 · Apr 2015
A Blessing
GailForceWinds Apr 2015
Every day is a blessing
It is not guaranteed
Enjoy every minute
Embrace every breeze

Give thanks for what you have
Don’t complain over what you do not
It can all be taken in a moment
Appreciate what you’ve got
293 · Dec 2014
Put Down the Knife
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
I really hate reality
It *****, it stinks, it doesn’t work for me
I’d much rather drown
In my bottle of JD
A couple more pills, now that works for me!
I’ll drink some more
And smoke some too
I have nothing else to do
I’ll just get hammered
Until I can’t see
Blackouts are very familiar to me
I don’t have to think
I don’t have to talk
Hell, I can’t even walk
So what’s so bad about my life?
I have no idea
So put down the **** knife!
293 · Jan 2015
Run
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Run

I need to get away as fast as I can
Drag myself out of this Hell that I'm in

I really don't know when these feelings started
All I do know is I'm broken hearted

I'm drowning in these feelings, they won't go away
I'll continue to run until I find love someday
293 · Feb 2015
One Night Only
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I'm sitting here at the bar
Staring at you from afar
Wishing I was there with you
Are you wishing the same thing too?

You and l are both alone
Leaving here to go to an empty home
Let's take a chance
At a one night romance
Tomorrow we can forget we ever had this dance

You see me now and give me that grin
That lets me know you are also in
We both get up, walk to the door
Never taking our eyes off the floor

We get outside
That's when we embrace
I see the lust on your face

"Take me home," I say to you
Even though I know in the morning I'll regret this
and my heart will be once again be blue
291 · Apr 2015
Done Waiting
GailForceWinds Apr 2015
I hate to admit it
But it’s plain to see
There is no future
For you and me

You dangled the carrot
And waited I did
For lost broken promises
When I should have ran and hid

Years have been wasted
Waiting for you
Now here I am
What do I do?

I hope you are happy
With your couch and TV
I’m starting over today
So please let me be
290 · Feb 2015
A Plan
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I don’t know where I’m going
I barely know where I am
I am just praying
That someone has a plan
290 · Dec 2014
Too far gone
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
No one can save me
I'm too far gone
I don't want to venture out past my door
Sleep was my friend, but not anymore
I've chosen sleep over
Life
Love
Play
When did this happen
When was that day
I escape into another world
Where no one can hurt me
My problems are gone
Then I wake up
I dread the day
Everything's back that went away
Going through the motions
Until I can sleep again
Unconsciousness
Is my only friend
289 · Dec 2014
Endless Love
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
I want to kiss your lips so soft
I remember those nights, in your loft
I can still feel your touch, skin on skin
I can’t stop remembering when…
Our bodies would be tangled
Intertwined together
I can’t imagine
Anything better
I would do anything now
To have you back in my arms
Can I persuade you with my charm?
I want another chance, can we start over again?
I want much more, then to be your friend
*I love you
289 · Jan 2015
My Choice
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I wake up early, day after day
Get my coffee, feed the cats
My head's so full of those horrible bats
This sinking feelling just won't go away
It's all up to me
To make that choice
It doesn't have to be this way
I just want to be happy
For just one day
289 · Nov 2014
The Race
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
I’m racing through life
Trying to escape the pain
Do I run?
Or jump on the clamoring train...

I don’t remember yesterday,
Will I remember today?
The day will be gone, no instant replay

The clock keeps moving forward, calendar pages turn
No time to waste, no time to burn
Always chasing, the next best thing
Missing the melody, of the birds as they sing

I want to stop running
But I don’t know how
I’m just another human,
Faceless in the crowd

No one can know
What I’ve been through
Don’t look at me, keep the attention on you

I guess I’ll keep running
Chasing the dream
Of rainbows and butterflies, and a bubbling stream
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