you need to earn respect,
who said i owed you anything, i didn't choose to be here,
who said i cared what you think,
you cant expect me to be wrong every time.
who the **** are you
why are you so against everything i do,
am i not allowed to succeed,
in life, or my own values? only yours.
what the **** is freedom.
why cant i just live my life,
i love you but why
all these people
no trust here
you ****** this up.
am i supposed to sweep up the shattered dreams and cracked memories.
you just stand above, holding me down, expecting me to push harder,
guilt weighs more than you can accept- doesn't it?
wheres the constructive attitude you taught me to have.
what the ****.
selling knives, learning my own lessons, handling my own problems
are you serious
you say you're the adult, act like one.
let me be me.
*******.
i need to earn respect?
why
who made that rule, you?
i have to do what you say?
you and what ******* army...
why am i being so defiant
maybe i don't want to be like you
maybe i'm afraid of becoming my biggest problem,
my life was so easy before you tried to step in and give it a reason to move
i can trip and make a reason in half a ******* thought
before you can see where you're even falling,
how far have you fallen before you lost hope?
who pushed you
was it your father? how ironic...
i shouldn't laugh at how ****** up that is
but why does anything matter these days
i cant angry when i need to be
i just end up looking like an ***
am i broken, i asked for help...
why cant you help? you ****.

What if birds were bees?
And singing came from the trees,
A's turned to B's, B's to C's,
C's to D's, D's to making poetry with ease.
As long as these bees-
make sure to do as they-
please,
and seize,
control of our control...

That would be the bees knees.

Sins of our making,
Lives are for taking,
Fives for breaking,
No,
Lives more for making,
Leaves raking,
Hands and heads shaking,
Arguments remove our calm,
Disagreements drop like bombs,
Jokes drop like bonds,
Others drop songs,
And yet I drop my fondness of correctness,
and some may be specific but I'm the select-est,
picking and choosing,
who's winning and losing,
singing and soothing.
Incorrect.

Loose that inspiration,
off like a gun,

POW!!

These rounds may miss, but the recoil is the goal,
free that pent up energy, just reach flux once again.

When you get caught doing something you shouldn't,
you learn,
you figure out how to do it right,
but when we succeed we blame it on luck,
on skill,
and pure justification of thrill,
so if you get lucky once, then twice, then thrice,
how will you ever learn from mistakes with no consequences...

Who the **** invented shame?
Is it some evolutionary development to prevent our "tribe" from murdering us?
Or is it just this handicap that society has placed on those who do wrong?
I mean its as old as the bible,
Yet i see it in infants who cant even read 12,000 or so pages,
By choice or not, why shouldn't we feel confident in our actions,
Shame and downcast glares have no place in this bittersweet journey of life.
Good or bad.
Right or Wrong.

Living life after life,
Moments flying by,
Minute after minute,
how much can we really fit in,
Look where we sit, a throne,
Of lies, failed tries, lost times,
Moral crimes, its 2 am and we're counting dimes, looking for something,
Is it purpose?
A thrill?
Or is it just my pen?

She seems to care, is my greedy ideology,
We see through fair, its by fleeting ecology,
a balance between organisms, but how can you balance on a pinpoint with no end?

After the third lie I thought it was over-
but no, not one of you stopped it,
six years later it's catching up to me,
but no, I said I wouldn't care,
and now its going right through me and hitting you,
like
I
said

The flow of emotion can be therapeutic,
and yet i want to hold onto that emotion,
a lucrative feeling, letting lose thoughts,
but what do you let go of when you are all out?
an empty tank, zero balance, closet void of light,
disappointing to that greedy aspect of I.

They say to dream big but only talk small.
When did I become someone with problems?
Relationships suddenly feel like climbing a mountain just find another peak,
Money is getting tight, yet I started with none,
Time is closing in on this newborn.

The inevitable gain of value in a person
will also lead that same individuals demise.

I thought I was better than this,
expected more,
a sense of superiority,
maybe i thought i had it all together,
and just didn't care enough to use that,
but no, it was all chaos,
uncontrolled chaos,
anxiety every day,
thinking of every way to move,
but frozen with no real options,
out of fear of failure,
I was always the best, and then I woke up with nothing.

"As is,"
"Leave it at that,"
"When I say, you do."

All of this focus on control and power,
yet those 'in' power-
are in the worst place,
the most stressed, the most feared,
a superlative disgrace,
and it all goes downhill as the end nears.
Just dont pull me down when it all starts to fall from beneath you.