I was born with a deficiency.
& I smile because of it.
Fireworks that light up the sky.
Don’t explode color for me.
The seven colors of the rainbow.
Don’t lay out Roy G Biv for me.
Multifunctional digital cameras.
Don’t upload colorized for me.
The fireworks.
The rainbows.
The cameras.
All come out the same.
Colorless.
I smile because I am used to it.
Because it shows me the world for what it is.
I’m not distracted by the flashing lights.
Or the colorful reflection after the rain.
Not even the still moments of a photo.
So I see what’s real.


I live with a deficiency.
& I smile because of it.
I will never know the color of her hair.
As the wind blows it during a cool summer day.
I will never know the color of her eyes.
As the sun allows them to shine with beauty.
I will never witness her skin tone.
My deficiency doesn’t allow it.
I smile because I’m used to it.
Because it shows me who she really is.
The very essence of what makes her glow.
What my deficiency does allow.
I see her soul.
What her hair cannot conger.
I see her heart.
What her eyes cannot frame.
I see her love.
What her skin cannot contain.
So I see what’s real.

I will die with a deficiency.
& I smile because of it.
When the world becomes fragile.
I won’t see the red of the flames.
When the world becomes damaged.
I won’t see the blue of the flood.
When the world becomes a waste land.
I won’t see the color fade.
Because my deficiency took that a long time ago.
I smile because I’m used to it.
& it made my life beautiful.
Even though I saw black & white.
My canvass was colored with my heart.
& that is where my imagination runs wild.


I was blessed with a deficiency.
& I smile because of it.
Because I knew never to be afraid.

In darkness
I left you
was when your heart was slow
instructed by the western strand
'gather clothes and go.'

I missed you
this morning.
We moved from where we strayed,
slipping free of drunken vows
fevered flesh had made

Your soft,
small picture
commands me now to kneel,
deny the gods I knew before
and drop this broken shield.

I'll ask you
tomorrow,
'please cut this tender thread.
it bleeds and binds my all to you,
your body, and your bed.

That simple
small mercy
returns my broken life
where your kiss can never hurt me,
Orion fades from sight.'

I know how
you'll answer
'we are so lightly here,
it is in love that we are made,
in love we disappear'

too wise or
too simple,
it's either black or white.
Unhealed, I'll tear at stitches
bleed out this fatal life

Remember
years later
onto those soft lit eyes
your warm belly fluttered
in a melody
of sighs.

Then drowsy, low rain
will beat us
'till we float.
we'll drift through
wet desert
in a folded paper boat.

you pull me through doorways
with cherry red charm
you fill me with whiskey
and hang on my arm

The clerk asks for blood
the stone has run dry
we promise ’tomorrow’
and feed him with wine

dark clouds move faster
the voice of hard wind
it speaks to you only
as thunder moves in

you twist here beside me
and curl like a vine
your teeth in my shoulder
reliving some crime

you hold me so tightly
and whisper your vows
your secrets stay hidden
your tears are so loud