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Jason Jun 30
A few months ago here I stood doubtful in whether I could accomplish this climb.

This climb that would determine the next chapter in my story.

An... as I climbed I felt the bitterness of sacrifice. Steeling myself to sacrifice my peace and devote myself to the climb.

Then you appeared to me in the dead of night. A night that now feels like a lifetime ago.

That was there with me, and like Athena whom I will always equate you with.

You spoke wisdom, and gave me a friend that I would look for in everyone I would cross paths with.

But I can't follow you.

I wish we didn't have to live like this. But I can't help but wonder sometimes about the future where we can be; where we are.

But if it does exist its far away from here, and it's something that will only exist in our dreams.
I passed my exam... and now I stand on this mountain top alone, waiting for the next challenge.
Jason Jun 23
There's nothing better then feeling of certainty when it comes to forging your own path.

Hell anyone whose in the thralls of paving a new path will tell you, it is not easy.

It takes time and effort; hours of being in the weeds and sitting with your shortcomings.

Nights where you second guess yourself if this really is where you want to go.

Of course you didn't have to put yourself through this. You could just stay put and walked another path that was already laid.

But since we already paved the road all that's left is to walk down it.
Certainly celebratation is in order!
Jason Jun 13
You should have a genuine conversation with someone about your emotions, rather than engaging in one-sided conversations where you constantly express your emotional pain.

and say what?

what do we say?
what do I say?

seriously the questions sometimes never end
Jason Jun 5
That's the purpose of poetry it's reflection.

And Reflection is messy! Spending days and nights looking at the imperfections and why they are there.

It's filled to the brim with grief, rage, shame, honor and hope.

And this reflection, is so painful. Showing up Daily for my inner beat down.

Knowing your creed and values won't yield even when it comes to people that you love!

Waking up not thinking but knowing your values will drive people away.

Being filled with rage at the doors that have been closed for years!

**** it! I wanted to fight! I wanted to show that I was capable, yet I was denied! For me that was such a shameful thing to be denied the one thing you could do and do very well.

Praying that one day I'll be able to relfect what others see.

But until then I'll keep reflecting. Asking the hard questions, am I pushing myself hard enough?

What more can I do?
Jason May 26
A semester ended

So did a relationship

But hey the bright side

What bright side...

**** stop whining the semesters over. We passed! We made it through.

All that's left is clean-up here an there and rebuild our strength we'll enjoy that alot more then other people.

We're not doing this to get revenge or prove to anyone anything, we're doing this because we want to.

I dont know what the future holds but for better or worse we'll work it out.
Jason May 22
I feel heavy.
Not tired — heavy.
Like my chest is holding something I can’t name,
and my silence is louder than anything around me.

I carry heartbreak like it's folded into the fabric of my being.
I carry memories that don’t speak, but press.
I carry questions I can’t answer yet —
what’s next, who I’ll become, if I’ll ever feel seen again.

They say I’m quiet.
Reserved.
But they don’t hear the storms that live under my stillness.

I don’t speak unless it matters,
because life has taught me not every word deserves to live.
Not every space is safe for honesty.
Not every ear will hold my truth without judgment.

But I hold it — every day.
And it gets heavy.

I wish I could cry — fully, not just a tear or two.
But crying feels like surrender, and I’ve been strong for so long
that I forgot what surrender feels like.

Still…
I feel something rising in me.
Not ego. Not pride.
Just… truth.

The truth that I’ve been through too much
to pretend I’m like the rest.
The truth that silence doesn’t mean weakness —
it means I’ve listened to the world and chosen to answer slowly.

And the truth that
even in this heaviness,
I am still here.

Still breathing.
Still standing.
Still healing.

Even if no one sees it — I know it.
  Apr 28 Jason
J.R.R. Tolkien
The world was young, the mountains green,

No stain yet on the Moon was seen,

No words were laid on stream or stone

When Durin woke and walked alone.

He named the nameless hills and dells;

He drank from yet untasted wells;

He stooped and looked in Mirrormere,

And saw a crown of stars appear,

As gems upon a silver thread,

Above the shadow of his head



The world was fair, the mountains tall,

In Elder Days before the fall.

Of mighty kings of Nargothrond

And Gondolin, who now beyond

The Western Seas have passed away;

The world was fair in Durin's Day.



A king he was on carven throne

In many-pillared halls of stone

With golden roof and silver floor,

And runes of power upon the door.

The light of sun and star and moon

In shining lamps of crystal hewn

Undimmed by cloud or shade of night

There shone for ever fair and bright.



There hammer on the anvil smote,

There chisel clove, and graver wrote,

There forged was blade, and bound was hilt;

The delver mined, the mason built,

There beryl, pearl, and opal pale,

And metal wrought like fishes' mail,

Buckler and corslet, axe and sword,

And shining spears were laid in hoard.



Unwearied then were Durin's folk;

Beneath the mountains music woke:

The harpers harped, the minstrels sang

And at the gates the trumpets rang.



The world is grey, the mountains old,

The forge's fire is ashen cold;

No harp is wrung, no hammer falls,

The darkness dwells in Durin's halls;

The shadow lies upon his tomb

In Moria, in Khazad-dûm.

But still the sunken stars appear

In dark and windless Mirrormere;

There lies his crown in water deep,

Till Durin wakes again from sleep.
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