Standing so close to me
I don't feel your presence.
I guess I'll just push you away,
and embrace the absence.

©rajgomes

I let different boys touch me
Because I wanted to know
Even for a second
What it felt like to be loved
Even if the love was cheap
And it tasted like ***
Like the punchline to a joke
I never got because it was me

I let different boys have different parts of me
Parts they didn't deserve
But I offered up willingly because I couldn't give anything else
after you broke me
I was looking for different fingers
to place different pieces and hoping  the outcome
would be a masterpiece
Maybe one of them would find a way
to cover up the handprints you left all over me

I let different boys touch me because I had to prove to myself
you wouldn't be the only one
that these scars marking my body wouldn't define
my worth to be loved
I am not entirely sure  
you aren't the only one who could ever touch me without slightly  flinching

I let different boys touch me because that is all I have been taught
To be a joke
To be silent
To be ready to give until you have nothing left
- they keep leaving me and I am to scared to offer up anything more than my body to get them to stay

you keeping looking at me
like I'm someone else

you're going blind
let go of my hand

I dream
impressive dreams on your couch

slept a 5 am
didn't hear you coming in

feels like I'm the chosen one
I hear the earth cry
the trees are falling asleep

am I the only thing on fire
in this freezing winter

She's walking into a forest
With a green nightgown

Looking for answers
under the small moon

Orion's belt
on top
of the roof

I got no time
for the trouble in my eyes

I'm looking behind
I can't change
there's no end
to this pain
it'll bloom in the winter
wash away with spring's fears

I stayed up all night
the morning sky looked like a dream

If dreams feel so real
why does my reality wake up to a daze