Sometimes
I want to go back
In time
Collect everyone
I've ever known
And loved
And as a child  
Put them in a box
And keep them
Protected forever

And I ran with
The ribbon cutting
Ceremonial scissors
Celebrating my brave
Resolution to not
Make bad decisions

There is a chord
In your song
That makes me cry
It touches me
So deep...
I wish
It was
For me

I knew you'd change our lives
My life
A mother's life
The young handsome man
Taking care of her
Taking care of us
His family loved us
Giving us more family
New babies
Never realizing the impact
Until now
The happiness
The safety
Being loved by a new dad
To replace one I never knew
I knew you'd change our lives
And you did...

Because you left

Wooden, splinter

Ouch

Stupid box

The absolute
Best part of
Good friendships
Is having that safe place
To land
No matter where you
Are jumping from

You know they love you
When they let you
Ugly cry
Into their new clean crisp
White shirt

By the power of suggestion
Vested in me
I now pronounce you
Commercial advertisement

Today feels like a dream
Years ago dreamt
Of when you left me
Alone in the woods
In a dark colorless cabin
You took the warmth
You took the light
You took your family
And you left me there...
Alone.
Today
Feels like that dream

I will bloom for you
If you wait
And take care of me
It will be worth it
I may only show you
A little at a time
For fear you may hurt
My petals
But wait
And cherish me
I'll full bloom
From the love

The purpose is still burning
Even tho everything is jaded
My heart light faded
No one can take it from me
It's mine forever meant to be
Reignite my purpose
And you'll see

Our scent of
Nostalgia
Would be a
Best seller
Let's
Get a degree
In chemistry
And craft
A masterpiece

I am
Scared
Of
Time

Darkness
So dark
You see light
From the inside
Of your dreams

The perpetual state
Of heart break
Never heals
It just learns
To deal

Good morning
Is
More than  
A wish
Or
A happiness
I have for you
Seems
An endearment
Is in order
Since we left
Each other
While
We dreamt

You made me
Put my heart away
I put it on the shelf
It kept wanting to jump back in
But you told it to stop
Hope and pray
You meant
Wait...
Not yet
But
Soon

This rose has thorns
She let bees in
Needing to live
One sting from this
Protector
Can ****
That who pulls
The petal off a
Newborn rose
Before it blooms
Yes in sacrifice
Yet
Worthwhile
In my garden

I dreamt of a man
I did not know
Sitting next to me
In a crowd of people
Tired and needing comfort
He held me like a baby
His arm around my waist
My head on his chest
I felt so safe
Only a little while...
People started criticizing him
For holding me like this
He got up from me
Starting to walk away
As I was
Looking at him
Wondering "where are you going"?
I still did not know this man
All I could do was watch him leave
He didn't even turn around
As people jeered him
He went away...
I do not think
I will ever
Know who this man
Is

Your dark oxygen
Penetrates a depth
I do not want to know
Keeping a mystery alive..

But not me

Are the many
Shades of rain
Just
Umbrellas
In a crowd
Or my sadness
When
I have to say goodbye
Walking away
Leaving
Instead I wanted
An embrace
But
There's no room for
Us
So much
Crowding in our world
I wonder if I'll ever
Reach you
In all of these
Shades of rain
Maybe
Our sun will
Shine
For a short while
The shades will go down
And you will
See my happiness
When
You're coming
My way
Holding
Your hand out
To touch mine...
But that's all...
Putting my shade
Back up
For the next
Rain...
I know it's coming

I soaked my heart
In the colors
Of your love
And everything
Came out clear

Thinking of you
While I was breathing
Inhaling deeply
But
Exhaling paused
Not wanting to let you out...
I had to
Interrupt my thoughts
And
Tell myself...
Let you go

It dawns...

She ponders...

It wanders...

Goes yonder...

Back it saunters...

Her thought process...

Sometimes is...
Beyond her

Looked in the fun house mirrors
Then walked away in thought
The distorted view of myself
Really was because of the circus

I'll never forget
The look you gave
As
I told you something good  
You looked safely lost
With a thought provoking gaze
Deep into my soul
No smile
Just a kind softness 
To a wandering thought
Maybe just absorbing what I said
 Saying nothing
Just looking
Were you day dreaming?
Did you even hear me?
Your beautiful eyes
Shook a nerve
A pleasant one
Having to look down
At what I was reading
I left the mutual gaze prematurely  
Maybe it meant nothing
Maybe it meant everything
This is the conundrum

I want to get away
Get away to that place
That place with the balcony, the umbrella
And the cold sand

What if  I can’t
What if I can’t escape
Escape to that space
That place in another land

Would you please just
Just give me that touch
The escaping sensation  
Of your healing hands

Left the emptiness
Behind
To fill the void
Driving like I was
Wearing blinders
Earth fell asleep
Streets lit up
Sparkling
Like enchantimg gifts
Left behind
All Alone
For me to see
Tears streamed as
The music in my heart
Played on repeat
Until it finally took
Me home

There is no why
For now
Only goodbye...
For now

I don't like the middle
It feels like an ocean
Swimming it everyday
I want to be close to the shore
Where you are
Where I can at least see you
Hear you
The middle feels almost like
Drowning
You are too far
To help me get thru
Or throw me a lifeline
Reassure me
So
I can at least float
To your shore

Vacation wear: for photo shoot

**** sundress
Cute underwear
**** *******
Thong
Moo moo dress
Moo moo dress
Moo moo dress
Moo moo dress
Moo moo dress
Moo moo dress
Polka dot bikini
String bikini
Silky robe
Flowers

Nothing

If your heart is divided
And both sides break
What is it called?
Quadruple
Heartache?

That's a beautifully odd name
What does it mean?
It means I was born
For the simple reasons
No one understands

My adoring stare
Loves you
Like I'm yours
But I stay behind
With my eyes down
So you may not know
For fear you may erase
Both our smiles
With the doubt
In your mind

I have so many
Different sides to me
I'm starting to think
I'm geometry

Why plant
A fragile heart
In the wrong place
Setting it up
To suffocate
Like a tulip
In a xeriscape

•Black and white dotted cotton•
•Soft lines and flowing•
•So stylish I said this polka dot dress•
••••••                          ••••••
•••••••••••
Twirlin­g-will they notice me in it
Will they see how pretty I feel
It’s new to me, I feel so real
•••••••••••
Too young just yet
For attentions like that
Slow down late bloomer, not too fast
•••••••••••
I could still hope for stares
And wish for admirers
Would anyone care for braided hair
•••••••••••
Years later my true love says
I remember seeing you when we were younger
You stood out among the rest
••••••••••••
Really?
You saw me?
You remember that?
What did you see?
Tell me!
••••••••••••
A Long french braid
Hoop earrings and•••
You
had
on
a
polka
dot
dress
•
•
•

Some days
You will feel
Like a fine wine
Dressed up and fantastic
Complemented
By your buffet of friends
Some days
You feel like
Watered down kool aid
Artificial at best
Trying to be
Something you aren't
In a world parched of love
You will find both will do
However you feel
Share what you have
Some of you

The first time
You told me
I love you
I believed it

I put the
I love you
In my
GIANT
Heart
Envelope

And
   Hearing
I love you’s
Everyday since
I still
Believe
It

My
Heart
Envelope
Has
Just enough room
For the next
Days
I love you’s

Because it’s
E-x-p-a-n-d-a-b-l-e
Like
Stretchy
Pants

I'm that girl
Who
When it rains
Carrys her umbrella
But won't use it
She'd rather get rained on
I was injured as a child
By an umbrella
I opened it and it sliced
My finger
I remember the pain too well
So now I fear being
Injured by the one thing
I had to protect me
From the storm
So I may still carry you
With me
But I might not
Let you protect me
This is how I am.
This is why.

Will my inner child
Catch up to my adult mind
And collab
Or collide?

The internet
Made
Normal
Not a
Thing

In a world
Of potatos
Be a
Tater tot

Changing
Your font
Makes you
Harder
To
Read