Sometimes
Hearts are broke

Sometimes
Hearts are fixed

Sometimes
Hearts never beat

Hearts are weird organs
because everyone says follow your heart

But its not the heart leading you,
its the brain.
The brain cant be broken  or healed.

The brain works before you're ever born,
and in  most cases,
does not stop until 7 minutes
after your heart

so maybe my hearts not broken,
my brain is telling it to be,
so i think it is


but really, its not
and im ok

We say goodbye
Just to say hello again

I don't wanna lose you

I thought I'd be this way forever.
You left, he came.
He asked me to promise,
I did.
He was just afriend,
then it grew to be more.
Now I'm over you,
But falling for him.
You wanna come back,
It's too late now.
I'm sorry.
Should've tried a couple weeks ago,
or better yet, never left
I'm better now.
I'm happier now.
I'm me again.

I'm sorry i smother you
You're everything I need,
please don't leave me like everyone else.

I'm trying to find an answer.
an answer to the sufering,
but not just us...
to me as well...

Darling,
don't be scared.
It's all going to be ok.

I love you, wihtout a doubt.

Midnight thoughts are all I have when you are a milliong miles
away from me

I’m sorry

I write,
not because I want to,
but because I need to.

I write,
because after I'm gone,
everyone will see who I truly was.

I write,
because I can get everything down on paper,
but it hard for me to explain it verbally.

I write,
because it's the only thing I'm good at.

I write,
because I need to get it out,
and you're not here to listen.

You mean everything to me

18 is a fairly small number in the scheme of things
but 18 years is a fairly large amount of time
18 years and life throws curveballs

18 is a fairly small number in the scheme of things
and 18 seconds is a fairly small amount of time
18 seconds and the day throws curveballs

maybe 18 seconds isn’t a fairly small number,
maybe it depends on the scenario and the context that 18 is put in

Maybe the sand loved the waves
because everytime they left,
they always cam eback.

I miss you
Your obnoxious laugh
Your double knee

I miss you
The rotating doors of girls
who planned a future w you


I miss you
My uncle, My bestfriend
My role model, My idol

I miss you.
Sergeant First Class Tyler Durden


Gone to soon

They find better people,
and I become distant and forgotten.

So many unsaid words
hang in the silence
between us

I know you're gonna leave me eventually...
but I'm going to try to postpone it for as long as possible

I would tell you my favorite color
but it's not like it would matter
My favorite shade of green won't take away your pain
My preferred blue isn't going to change the past

The red that spills from your wrists is the only color you can see
or think about.
The way it feels as it empties you.

I would tell you my favorite color,
but I know it's not important.
You don't care if I dream about your dark eyes
or your ebony hair
or the soft pink of your lips.
Because you're too caught up in your own head
to think about what you're doing to me.

I really, really like your hugs....
Can I have more?

Pain is a strife
With strife,
I write.

Why is self harm romanticized?
It's an awful thing,
and can lead to so much more.
It's a window to something happening
inside the mind.
These people need to get help,
they shoudn't be held up for all to follow suit.

Why is suicide romanticized?
It's an awful thing that hurts so many.
There are more options that one.
If someone is contemplating,
help them. Don't joke, don't fool.
These people need to get help,
they shouldn't be held up for all to follow suit.


HOTLINES:
Crisis Call: 800-273-8255
Suicide Prevention: 630-482-9696

In the quantum realm,
time works differently...
5 years seems like 5 hours.

Sometimes,
I wish I was there.
To slow down my last 2 years of high school,
because I'm already a Junior,
and it went by too fast.

Sometimes,
I wish I was there.
So that I could spend more time with my friends and family,
because you only live once,
and life is short.

His smile could light up a room,
and so much more.
I could think about his smile,
and find myself smiling as well.
His touch sent me into a frenzy
His presence,
it was the worse,
it made me forget everything I knew.
and left me thinking about him till I drifted off to sleep,
then, I would dream,
of him, and me....

what if i died in my sleep?
what if i died weeks from now? months?
have i seen all i was ever going to see?
do i know all i was ever going to know?
have i dreamt all i was ever going to dream?
have i lived all i was ever going to live?

maybe i was never fated to eat breakfast tomorrow morning
maybe i was never fated to read the questions on my test tomorrow
maybe i was never fated to hear the cheers of my classmates at our graduation
maybe i was never fated to walk the halls of a college campus
maybe i was never fated to meet the one person I could spend my life with
maybe i was never fated to hold my child in my arms
maybe i was never fated to see the top of mount everest
maybe i was never fated to witness the death of stars
maybe i was never fated to dive the depths of the ocean
maybe i was never fated to watch the sun rise a thousand times

but maybe i was

no matter how long it’s been
or
how far apart we are
i always find my way back to you

it’s been awhile  since i’ve felt

felt anything

felt anything strong enough to write

but here i am, wanting to restart

restart my life

restart my feelings

it’s been while,

hopefully it will be no more

14 days
336 hours
till
16 years
140,160 hours
of life

All good things must come to an end..
That being said,
family don't end in blood.

When we first met,
The very first thing I noticed were your eyes.
They were blue-
and not rhe color blue like the sky,
or sea.
They were their own color.
The color that soon became my favorite.

Then I noticed your voice.
The way you said my name,
The way you talked to your friends.
Anything that you said sounded like a song.

Then, the way you treated people.
You were always so kind,
even when the person didn't deserve it.

I realized that
whenever I'm with you,
I can't think straight,
I can't talk right.

You made my stomach fill with butterflies,
my mind fill with your face, your voice, just you in general.

Whenever you were around,
I was happy,
despite what had happened with anything.

You smile,
I'll smile.
You laugh,
I laugh.
You cry,
I'll punch a dude for you,
even though you're the guy.
I don't care,
who made steriotypes anyway,
They're stupid.

Boys will come and go
but friends are forever.
Thats why friends and forever both start with 'F'

So when given the chance,
make sure you don't lose the forever.

Poetry scares me sometimes

It can make anyone feel things that are so sudden
and unwanted...

Poetry scares me sometimes,
because it doesn't have a particular form.

Poetry can be found in the sky, or the oceans.
Poetry can be found in your eyes, and in your smile.

Poetry scares me sometimes,
because it reminds me of you,
in almost every.
single.
way....

And that scares the living daylights out of me

She says she's not a poet,
but she puts all her emotions
into her poems.

She says she's not a true poet,
but everytime I read one of her poems,
I feel the emotions that she put behind it.

She writes what she feels,
and that make her a true, real, unadulterated,
poet.

They ask me if I still love you.

I blush, grin and say;

of course.

Why?

Because your eyes are of the most utter ocean blue,

but other days they're the currents of the stormy grey sea.

I see a current of salty water, deep, once blue, but now a faded grey.

I see a bundle of darkened grey clouds in the distance,

and the thunder rumbles from your irises,

and I hear it pound in the back of my mind.

I wonder if you knew.

I see a spark of lightening flash, only once in a while,

while you look at her.

My throat corrodes with bile.


She says she sees green demons lurking in the depth of my own ocean currents,

and I shrug.

What am I supposed to say?

I know you think about her.

Night and day.


The hardest part,

is a generic, old saying

If you love them,

you let them go.

If they love you enough to stay,

or to come back,

you never let go.

But what happens if you never come back?

I need you....

Please come back

You are amazing
and I'm sorry for pushing you away...

I miss you

Best friends are angels
That God sent along.
They always stay beside you
Whenever things go wrong.

I'm glad that God blessed me,
With a good friend such as you.
A person to be there,
A person to get me through.

Never turn away from me.
I can't bear to be apart.
All the pain and suffering
Will be too much for my heart.

You are my best friend,
The one who brightens my day.
The one who cheers me up,
The one who's here to stay.

They say
Life is a gift
That you should cherish it
Because you only get one life
One chance
Life will give you gifts
Like a family
Friends
God
Day
Night
Air
Love
Happiness
But not all gifts are good
Life will throw curves at you
Like school
Money
Fights
Rain
Divorces
Heartbreaks
Broken promises
Deaths
Responsibilities
Anger
Sadness
With each person
Is a life
With different thoughts
Different beliefs
Different families
Different feelings
A different way to view things
Like challenges
Love
And life
Some might love life
They see the good in life
They see it as a gift
They love others
They love the journey
They smile
They laugh
Their sweet
Their kind
These people are on a boat
Floating
Floating ahead to see where they will go
But where they are now
They celebrate
That’s how to view their life
Then you have the others
They see life as a curse
They see the bad in life
They don’t talk to others
They hate the journey
They cry
They scream
They’re shy
They’re broken
These people are in the water
Drowning
Drowning in their sadness
The water in their tears
No matter how hard they try to swim up for air
A wave of their guilt
Brings them back down
But isn't that just life?

When I count my blessing,
I make sure to count you twice.

I don't understand how you seem so perfect.
I don't understand how your smile can light up a room. (And so much more)
I don't understand why I feel this way.
You're a friend, nothing else.
So why do I find myself thinking of you,
when I shoud be paying attention to my classes?
Why do I find myself doodling your name everywhere, and hearts?
Why is this happening?
I don't understand....

1, for the slumber that tumbles us round,
2, for the remedy, the musics bold sound.
3, for the tree that became your canoe
4, for the rain, it's ambiguous blue.

5, to escape, to a world we contrive,
6 for the tricks that I played to survive.
7, because heaven, is supposedly on earth,
& 8 for my mother, and her unknown worth.
9 for the failures, the faults & mistakes,
10 for the fears that keep us awake.

11, for my stepfather, consoles me each night, whispers advice crystal clear, filled with insight- words on courage & kindness, love & delight.
12- when you wake but it's already night.
13 forever, with strength glory and might,
14 with wisdom, discretion, insight-
both numbers together sizing up every fight.

15, for my little sister, and all her turmoil,
15, for her spirit, the last one to spoil,
she and the world but water and oil,
15 for her soul, and like the mighty cobra it's coil,
deadly & graceful defends its home soil.

16 for the evil- the wicked & cruel, the endless hate they spin into fuel.
17, for reason, justice & art,
and all the other virtues life etched on my heart,
18, to redeem, to admit your mistake, to truly move on then perhaps to retake.
19 for that shame, always the same, so familiar it almost comforts my brain. 19, for the suffering, agony & betrayal.
19 true stories retold as mere tales- how they surpass logic and induce other's fails.

20. For my years. For the moment, for now. For to the past I salute, and to the future I bow; All with the hope that next year I'll know how
to do what everyone else can.